This is my first relationship - need some advice from people with more experience :)

[chrelnka]

Hi,

So this is my first relationship - I am 22. My SO is 25 and has only had one "girlfriend" before but they were more like friends and he never really wanted to get close with her, so it's pretty much new territory for the both of us. Me and my SO met online a year ago next month, became INSTANT friends, we had the same humor and just got on so incredibly well joking back and forth talking every day, I opened up to him a lot. We clicked so well until in January we both discovered we liked each other more than friends. I never liked him as more than a friend at first, he was my first male friend and I tried not to fall for him because he was the first guy really giving me attention, but I saw how sweet he was, how caring, and how much the SAME he was to me. I soon became jealous of the thought of another girl having him. Which is when I knew i had feelings for him. We always say we are the male/female equivalents of each other because we are literally the same person.

We met for the first time last week and it wasn't awkward at all. We clicked once again instantly in real life, just felt so comfortable with each other. We kissed, properly, more than just a little peck and it wasn't embarrassing for me at all, he himself said "I don't really know what I'm doing!" it was cute we were learning together - I still can't believe I just wasn't remotely embarassed - and I get embarrassed over the silliest things. It just felt like he had always been in my life. We have the same political and religious, views. We have the same views on family, life in general, the same humor, goals in life, we have a laugh and just GET each other completely. We have the same morals and so far the only differences I have found are our taste in music and tv differing slightly. He turned up at my front door in a suit with roses and took me on my first proper date. He was the sweetest guy and SO incredibly respectful towards me, when we kissed he would never attempt anything further, and kept asking if I was okay. He grazed my leg by mistake once and apologized profusely.

We really are so in love, and my mum really likes him too (which says a lot about him because she is very protective) but she also says she kind of wishes I had at least had an experience with a boyfriend before to know that at first you truly do feel like lovebirds. But I don't feel that it's just "oh my gosh my first boyfriend mushy mushy" or "i feel like this because it's a brand new relationship, our love is different" etc. etc. because we are just so perfect together, everyone says it when they see pictures of us. We also both do youtube and it's really clear that when we are together we just bounce off eachother so well. Am I right in thinking this way? I feel it goes further than just "this is new so we are lovebirds", we certainly are, but it runs deeper than that, it's more serious

So just to kind of, ease my mind, I know when people first get into relationships they are lovey dovey, but I don't feel this is just any relationship, I feel this is the one, he insists he's going to marry me one day. We aren't sure how we will spend enough "reality time" together outside of this honeymoon period, but i guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Hope my question makes sense, you guys are just so helpful!

[WarwickGuy]

Glad things are going so well for you and your SO

Every relationship is different and anything is possible, he may indeed be the one you are meant to be with. One of my close friends met a girl, was friends for 1.5 years, then started dating her as his first girlfriend and they're now engaged, it's possible. You two may be perfect for each other, but you can only let things unfold as time passes and see whether it works or not.

As for me and my girlfriend, we've been dating just over a year and a half and I'm finding myself head over hills in love with her still. It isn't 'perfect', we have had arguments, but we work them out and things are great, even with the distance. Sorry to talk about my own relationship, but I think by explaining my own you can see that things can work and even if the relationship won't always be in the honeymoon phase, they could be the one, even with the distance.

I also had no friends of the opposite sex when growing up and when I made my first at university I didn't fall in love with her or any of the other girls I've made friends with since.

[C.C.]

My thoughts about honeymoon phase:
I think one should keep in mind at all times that it can be honeymoon phase when it comes to making decisions. For example it's sensible for one to not close the distance and get married in the honeymoon phase, especially in the very beginning.
And also what matters is to not sweep the issues under the rug because of it.

Except for that I don't think there's nothing bad in being in it, just enjoy it.

And whatever you are feeling in honeymoon phase is real, just wait and give it some time to see where it leads and how it develops. No matter how much you feel that he's the one, there's no way of knowing whether things will go sour neither in a first, nor second or etc. relationships. In my experience the main difference was that I was more blind to issues and I was so "happy" being in love that I didn't pay attention to negative things, but I was 16. And you are the ONLY one who knows your own relationship dynamics and feelings the best. Sometimes it's so, sometimes it's other way, but I don't think people necessarily need to be experienced to have successful stable relationships.

[Chris516]

My thoughts about honeymoon phase:
I think one should keep in mind at all times that it can be honeymoon phase when it comes to making decisions. For example it's sensible for one to not close the distance and get married in the honeymoon phase, especially in the very beginning.
And also what matters is to not sweep the issues under the rug because of it.

Except for that I don't think there's nothing bad in being in it, just enjoy it.

And whatever you are feeling in honeymoon phase is real, just wait and give it some time to see where it leads and how it develops. No matter how much you feel that he's the one, there's no way of knowing whether things will go sour neither in a first, nor second or etc. relationships. In my experience the main difference was that I was more blind to issues and I was so "happy" being in love that I didn't pay attention to negative things, but I was 16. And you are the ONLY one who knows your own relationship dynamics and feelings the best. Sometimes it's so, sometimes it's other way, but I don't think people necessarily need to be experienced to have successful stable relationships.

OP, This is good advice.

My (ex)wife n' I were only 20 when we met and started dating two months later. We didn't get married until we were 25. But in those five years, I had a seizure(I have Epilepsy) in front of my (ex)wife. She didn't react like I hoped she would. I forgave her for that. Since it was the first seizure she saw me have. But like C.C. mentions about negative issues popping up. Maybe my (ex)wife's inaction, was a sign of things to come.

Sure people say, 'Don't sweat the small stuff'. But those small things could become more amplified in a committed relationship. Once the 'honeymoon' phase of the relationship wears off, look out. If your focus is always on the other person, instead of yourself occasionally. You will begin to resent the 'small stuff'.