Confused on what to do.

[Harts]

Hi! This is all just precursory information on how we met and stuff and any other details, feel free to skim or read at your pleasure, the part I want on advice is after all that.

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Hai! Okay so recently, well not recently, but over the past five-six months I've met this boy on the internet, and as of late, we've gotten really close. Initially, it was just like talking and stuff, but now I guess you could say it's full fledged love. However, he left the site that we first met on due to personal issues, as he said he had to deal with personal issues and bettering his life, which I guess I understand. He came back a few days after the fact and we talked it over and about our future and decided it was for the best if we stopped talking, as I want him to move on forward in life and I feel guilty for making him consistently come back to the site we met on, even though he hates it, he comes on just for me, which I dislike, makes me feel guilty 😞. We said our goodbyes, and it hurt more than I could ever imagine but then we decided to talk again and this time not talk as much so he could focus on in real life stuff, and KIT over Skype, which I like a lot.

Main Part----
When he first came back he asked for a LDR, I refused at first, as I knew how unlikely it was, and I didn't want to live in a so called cyber fairy tale. But after a while, I just fell for him so hard. I love him so much, and I want to be with him so badly, alas, the problem is we live in different countries (Canada and Colombia). We talked it through, and he said he wants to take it all the way through, which is what I want, but at the same time I'm so just so pessimistic about the entire thing, I hate LDRs so much, as relationships also have physical interaction, and words can only do so much, but I love him so much to the point where I want him to be the one I marry and have kids with. Our situations are just so unfortunate and it makes me so mad. I don't even know about the laws in Colombia and if I can visit or he can, and we both just started University, and meeting for us in the near future is going to be so hard. I don't want to make the post too long, so I guess I'll say that, I'm scared that if we do engage in one, I don't know when, and if we will ever meet, and even if we do, it'd be like maybe a week or two out of the year for like 5-6 years till we're both done university and can finally settle down together (which is so damn long) and by then I fear we may fall out of love. Ahhh, it just really helps, and sorry for going on, but I just wanted others advice who have been in the situation and how should I procede, or if you guys have any other general advice, that would really help . He makes me happy like no other but then yeah, all this distance ://. I don't want to lose him.

P.S. I apologize for it being scatter brained, I'm just really frustrated and didn't bother to double check aha. If you want anything clarified please let me know and I'll answer.

[sasad]

So, you met 5 ish months ago online, not in person yet...want to get married and have kids. You have broken up and got back together a few times. You are still in school? High school?

Umm two words...Slow down.
Seriously. Don't even talk about marriage at this stage. You both need to learn how to communicate and be friends first.

[C.C.]

But after a while, I just fell for him so hard. I love him so much, and I want to be with him so badly, alas, the problem is we live in different countries (Canada and Colombia). We talked it through, and he said he wants to take it all the way through, which is what I want, but at the same time I'm so just so pessimistic about the entire thing, I hate LDRs so much, as relationships also have physical interaction, and words can only do so much

A couple of years ago, there was one friend I talked with about LDRs and about how I didn't believe in them. He convinced me otherwise cause he had been in one before.
Guess who he is now, my current long distance partner.

but I love him so much to the point where I want him to be the one I marry and have kids with. Our situations are just so unfortunate and it makes me so mad.

I am sorry but love is not measured like that. You can't love someone to the point of predicting your future and your future self. Love is a present thing, you love him a lot but you can't know for sure if he's the one you'll end up settling with or not. On top of loving you also need to have a stable long-term relationship with lots of experiences. There are so many things that can go wrong despite strong feelings, you have no idea.
I do think a lot of people daydream about marriage, though. Nothing wrong in that, just don't actually go and think about it seriously and don't actually discuss it with your SO seriously.

I don't even know about the laws in Colombia and if I can visit or he can, and we both just started University, and meeting for us in the near future is going to be so hard. I don't want to make the post too long, so I guess I'll say that, I'm scared that if we do engage in one, I don't know when, and if we will ever meet, and even if we do, it'd be like maybe a week or two out of the year for like 5-6 years till we're both done university and can finally settle down together (which is so damn long) and by then I fear we may fall out of love.

Can't you find out information about how visits work (laws, etc) in Colombia or from there to Canada?
Also, I am same age as you and I just finished my first year of university. I have to wait till next summer to meet my SO for the first time and we can only meet in summers as well. We can technically meet for a month or something, but realistically it's not really possible because of the expenses. So anyway, most likely we'll also have only 2 weeks long meetups in summers for 5-6 years.
One perspective I have, about him and life in general: I don't want to settle down with ANYONE before then be it ldr or cdr. I mean I'd give anything to live in his country or even together with him. But I wouldn't like to take it to another stage till then and till I am independent and stable enough in my individual life. So a question: do you want that?
And also, because of all that. I want to focus on my work as much as possible from now on and I know both of us will be busy (he'll finish his master's when I finish my bachelor's), both of us will develop as people individually. I absolutely hate the distance, but there's also something relaxing about it. Communication in ldrs is different as well, we get to know each other on deeper levels and don't get me wrong, we will deal with our individual lives, but I will make sure to give our relationship my all during all that and to be by his side and to go through everything together. I just realise, I am not ready for bigger commitments the way I am now. So a question again: Are you?
LDR like that gives you a chance for a more slow-paced relationship with more room to develop and grow.
But it's extremely hard as well, you'll have to deal with distance and longing, money, scheduling time, making plans, etc. So it's up to you to decide whether it's worth it and whether he is worth it. This site is a good example to tell you that many couples make (or are willing to make) it work for that long.

[Chris516]

Hi! This is all just precursory information on how we met and stuff and any other details, feel free to skim or read at your pleasure, the part I want on advice is after all that.

----
Hai! Okay so recently, well not recently, but over the past five-six months I've met this boy on the internet, and as of late, we've gotten really close. Initially, it was just like talking and stuff, but now I guess you could say it's full fledged love. However, he left the site that we first met on due to personal issues, as he said he had to deal with personal issues and bettering his life, which I guess I understand. He came back a few days after the fact and we talked it over and about our future and decided it was for the best if we stopped talking, as I want him to move on forward in life and I feel guilty for making him consistently come back to the site we met on, even though he hates it, he comes on just for me, which I dislike, makes me feel guilty ��. We said our goodbyes, and it hurt more than I could ever imagine but then we decided to talk again and this time not talk as much so he could focus on in real life stuff, and KIT over Skype, which I like a lot.

Main Part----
When he first came back he asked for a LDR, I refused at first, as I knew how unlikely it was, and I didn't want to live in a so called cyber fairy tale. But after a while, I just fell for him so hard. I love him so much, and I want to be with him so badly, alas, the problem is we live in different countries (Canada and Colombia). We talked it through, and he said he wants to take it all the way through, which is what I want, but at the same time I'm so just so pessimistic about the entire thing, I hate LDRs so much, as relationships also have physical interaction, and words can only do so much, but I love him so much to the point where I want him to be the one I marry and have kids with. Our situations are just so unfortunate and it makes me so mad. I don't even know about the laws in Colombia and if I can visit or he can, and we both just started University, and meeting for us in the near future is going to be so hard. I don't want to make the post too long, so I guess I'll say that, I'm scared that if we do engage in one, I don't know when, and if we will ever meet, and even if we do, it'd be like maybe a week or two out of the year for like 5-6 years till we're both done university and can finally settle down together (which is so damn long) and by then I fear we may fall out of love. Ahhh, it just really helps, and sorry for going on, but I just wanted others advice who have been in the situation and how should I procede, or if you guys have any other general advice, that would really help . He makes me happy like no other but then yeah, all this distance ://. I don't want to lose him.

P.S. I apologize for it being scatter brained, I'm just really frustrated and didn't bother to double check aha. If you want anything clarified please let me know and I'll answer.

What makes you think, that physically being able to see each other more. Will prevent the same things from happening. That you hate about LDRs?

[Freebird]

Slow down. Slow way down.

Thoughts about being married and kids are romanticizing the entire situation. They are nice thoughts, but we need to step back into reality sometimes. So many people (myself included) like to rush rush rush. Get to know him more. Make short term goals the priority right now-Get to know him more. Talk more. Skype more. After a few months if things are going steady, then plan on meeting during a summer break if you're both in university.

As much as people deny it... people are different in person than over the internet or even over the phone or cam. Not always and to varying degrees, but most people are a little different. You may find after meeting he just simply isn't the one for you.

When it comes to relationships, there should be no rush. Rushing is how things fall a part.