He's home...and doesn't want to see me

[Teacherfairy]

Those of you who have followed my posts will know that things didn't work out for me and my SO. The distance became too difficult in our situation and he became rubbish at making any sort of a plan. All in all, it just became incredibly frustrating.

Well now he's back in the country. I've been away so we only have a short overlap. I asked if he wants to meet up before he flies back. He says he can't. Some excuse about having to go visit family.

Now don't get me wrong, I know deep down it's probably for the best. I know that I have to respect his choice. I have accepted it - I told him I was upset but that I hoped we could stay friends. He agreed.

But it doesn't stop it from feeling crappy. Knowing that, after all the effort that I put into trying to make it work, he's now down the road and I don't get to be near him 😔.

[xxcazaxx]

As hard as it sounds, it will help in the long run. When I split up with an ex of 10 years he ignored all of my calls and texts. It hurt a lot at the time, but now I can see that it was for the best having the distance between us. That was about 4 years ago and now we will send each other texts at birthdays and christmas, but that is it.

[sasad]

It's because you still have feelings and/or you need closure.
I know it hurts and as hard as it is you need to respect his wishes of no contact for now.
It will get better over time....xo

[C.C.]

As much as it sucks, it won't really help either of you. Besides this is one more reason to be stronger in moving on!~

You feel crappy now, but it'll help you more in future.
Stay determined~

[Redheart14]

It's takes 2 people to make a relationship work. You deserve someone who puts in as much effort as you.

[Teacherfairy]

Thanks everyone. We've text a bit more today and I feel a bit better about everything. I think he's been avoiding seeing me because he thinks I'm angry. I'm not - and I've told him I wasn't wanting to see him to have a go or anything. I just genuinely wanted to spend some time with him after everything we've been through. Telling him this has kind of given me closure in itself if that makes sense?

Besides, his lack of ability to make a plan whilst he's in the same country has kind of confirmed that he's not ready to give me what I deserve at the moment. More closure...!

[Chris516]

This may seem like it has nothing to do with your situation. But I will give it a try.

After my (ex)wife n' I separated(and eventually divorced) almost twenty years ago(1997). I spent the first six months trying to woo her back. Until I moved out of state five years later, I had occasionally been talking to her. But in that five years, I went from blaming myself for everything that happened. Even that I knew wasn't my fault. To finally standing up and defending myself.

Even though I am back in the state we were living in during our entire relationship(13yrs.), and she moved out of state two years after I did. I refuse to speak with her at all. It has been almost fifteen years.