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New to long distance but not sure I can be happy with this kind of relationship

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    New to long distance but not sure I can be happy with this kind of relationship

    Me and my boyfriend have been dating for six months, but we were friends throughout the entire school year. He just graduated and moved out to college 8 hours away. I still have another year of high school in our hometown. For us, not doing long distance was never really option. But he left almost a week ago and I have not felt happy ever since. I wouldn't say that my boyfriend is the only way I'm happy because that's not true, but it's been really hard this past week.

    We made plans on how we could do Netflix dates over FaceTime and things like that so we don't feel distant but I don't see that happening with his roommates. The times we've been able to FaceTime have been short with many interruptions from his roommates. He seems to be handling long distance just fine, Which is great for him. I'm happy that he is adjusting well to everything. He's meeting new people and going out and having fun.

    I don't know if I can be happy in a long distance relationship and I know if I'm not happy with the relationship then I should not be in it. Should I just give it more time? Because if it gets better then I'll wait, but I don't want to wake up feeling like this everyday until I see him.

    #2
    I'd give it more time because a week isn't very long at all. Of course, long distance isn't really for everyone and is subjective to every couple. Only you can decide whether you want it or not. But don't think you're alone in feeling this way because you're not: heck, he might even feel something similar. It doesn't mean the worst case scenario is gonna happen though. So communicate with each other, make plans, focus on goals and on what you both want to do to help make it easier on yourselves.

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      #3
      Do you have plans to see him again? I agree that one week isn't really long enough to draw conclusions.

      At the end of the day, LDRs come down to a simple question - does the relationship (and time you spent together/talking) bring you more joy than pain? I suppose that is the question I ask myself whenever I have doubts. When you have just left each other it can seem like the pain isn't worth it. Then you talk on the phone and talk about when you meet again and it seems to bring a ray of light. You NEED to have a date in mind as to when you will see him again, imo. I mean I haven't been doing this long myself so I'm no expert. But yes it's damn hard. It's harder than I thought it would be.

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        #4
        As the others have said, LDRs are not for everyone and they are hard for everyone, but they do get easier as time goes on and you learn coping strategies. Keep in mind that it will be easier for him than it is for you right now because he's in a new and exciting environment. It's really easy to distract yourself when you're constantly with other people and doing fun things. Try your best not to take it personally! In the meantime, give it some more time and start to learn what you can do to make it easier. As I said, distraction is key. Try to take advantage of being "alone" right now. There are so many benefits to being in a LDR when you're young, but you just have to give yourself a chance to see them.

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          #5
          Yes we are going to try for the beginning of October. And thank you everyone for the great advice. It feels really nice to hear all of this

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