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He acts mean and distant and I think I give him up

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    He acts mean and distant and I think I give him up

    We have been dating for over 4 months and we already met up. Officially, we are not a couple because we never introduce each other directly to friends and family. In the beginning, everything went so well. We had chemistry and great time together.
    I came back to the city where I live and
    He started his new job. I totally understood that we would not keep the conversation so often like before since both are busy with new stuff in our lives. I am not a needy girl who asks him to be on his phone all day and reply immediately every single text I sent.

    However, things have changed lately. When we decided to get to know each other in a deeper level, I opened my heart to him and talkef more about my life and my friends. He seemed to not so interested and he hardly talked about his life. I always tried to be positive when he acted distant and sometimes he explained that he knew he had been distant to me recently because his schedule was insanely busy and he didnt have time for anything but he still liked me.

    We had a fight over the meet up schedule. I knew he can not take time off work, so me with flexible timetable I offer to visit him, but every option I gave was off the table because of something coming up to his life. He promised he would visit me when he got time but he doesnt know when. I want to know it as soon as possible because I also have to arrange time for my own plan. Ending up, I gave up on scheduling and told him come and visit whenever he has time. I was disappointed because he didnt try his best and I seem like the girl who begs him to meet.

    One more problem came to us, when I talked more about my friends and my life. He didnt want to hear and accused me of being controlling and possesive that throught out the stories I told I wanted to command him, that I acted exactly like his ex. He really hated it. Actually I have never ever thought about controlling anyone. We spoke up to find out the reason why he thought that way, turned out he didnt want me compare him with anyone or play the jealousy game. I agreed that maybe we misunderstood because we have different approach toward an issue. One more thing, during fighting and heal up session I realized we are too different and he wasnt into me that much.
    I told friends my stories and they affirmed that I am not a controlling nor possesive girl, he told me so because he lost interests and wanted to break up. I know their comment is subjective because we are in friend zone while he and I are in dating zone. I might behave differently
    I like him so much but when being with him, I can not be myself. I have to think twice for every single word before speaking because I dont want him missunderstand or interpret in another meaning .
    Now I think I should move on before I get deeper into the things between us and I got more painful but somehow in my heart there is a little voice speaking up that I am wrong. Have someone been in this situation? I know only I can make my own decision and I want to hear your own experience.
    Last edited by rachel123; August 29, 2016, 04:29 PM.

    #2
    Only YOU can decide if that is what you want. We don't know what is going on with and between you and your SO,
    That being said, if he is being mean and disrespectful (actually if either of you are) then you most probably should not be together unless you both learn how to communicate and be respectful.

    Now, you said you realize you both are too different. He said he thinks you are controlling and wants to break up. So my question to you is...why are you both still together???

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      #3
      The fact that you feel you have to second guess everything you say is already a warning sign that you both should either work on communication, or consider time apart.

      Comment


        #4
        Do what you feel is best for you.

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          #5
          Relationships should not be this complicated or controlling. I see so many red flags here that I'm asking you if it's really worth it. You should be happy!

          "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
          Married April 18th, 2015!!
          Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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