I'm think I give up. But I'm not sure

[Jelly11]

I just need to rant more than anything.

I kinda just feel like everything is building up and our chances of actually having a tangible future are pretty much zilch. I'd be willing to put myself through all this pain if I thought it could go somewhere. But these days I don't know if it's worth it. It feels so one sided. Our time together is lovely. The week before a visit and the week after are normally quite nice too because we are still mushy. The gap in the middle kills me though. He gets so absorbed in everything else I just don't feel like part of his life and I feel so alone. Like he's not there, even on the other side of the phone. I'm just not a priority in the gap. He goes out all the time and my trust issues make me sick with anxiety that he isn't faithful even though I don't have any reason to think he isn't.

I'm due to see him in four weeks and I feel like the same things will happen. It will be lovely. We will plan the next visit. Then the gap will have me doubting everything again.

I feel we both have personalities that are badly suited to LDRs. But I care so deeply for him and I am not good at breaking up with people. I'm unsure what to do.

Are all these doubts normal to be having at this stage (four and a half months in)? I just don't know what to do anymore. :-(

[Katy_G]

These doubts are normal.

Best for you to clear the air with him, soon. Sounds like you two need to work on some things like communication and reassurance.

[Redheart14]

4 weeks will fly by. Maybe he's better at keeping himself busy so he doesn't dwell on missing you. Having a life outside your partner is a good thing. Maybe you should try similar things. You need to sit down with him on this next visit and talk about all this. If you don't take steps to resolve it they will only intensify and make things worse. Doubts are fine but when they start impacting on the relationship it can drive a serious wedge between couples.

[cathy505]

Such doubts are normal.

[sasad]

Doubting he is being faithful should not be a normal part of any relationship, especially if he hasn't given you any reason to doubt him. That kind of thing can destroy a relationship so damn fast. You need to figure out what and why you feel that way, then sit down and figure out what it is you both need for communication etc.

[hmrambling]

I would be asking myself if this is about him or is it about me. If it is about me, then I would have to work on my issues. It might help to write it out (pen and paper) and look at the source of the insecurity. If it is something that you cannot control, then you might need help (like professional help) to get to the source and reign it in.

Source: I don't trust him but I don't know why