After weeks of searching for cheap flights, I finally booked the tickets to see the guy I met online, we started Skyping/texting a few weeks ago. I had to set a date because this guy seems very passive, but he is flattered I am going down there to meet him. I will be in a public place the entire time, my family will have his #, my flight info and i will keep consistent contact w/them. I guess what has been holding me back as well, is what others will think. I always taught that the man should make the 1st move, it'll make me look crazy etc. I have gone through years of being single because I never made the 1st move, now I'm an in charge kind of woman. Of course I will not chase a guy that isn't interested, but I will get the ball rolling. How do I deal w/what other people will think of me?
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What difference does it make what other people think? You will always find people that support things you do or think and people who will disagree. You can't ever please everyone and if you try, YOU will never be happy.
As long as you are being safe, not hurting anyone and doing what you want for your life - then go for it with a smile on your face and confidence in your stride.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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I know I cannot please everyone and this is definitely going to make me happy.Originally posted by R&R View PostComment
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I don't think people will judge as harshly as you think for going to him first, that's becoming much more common now that the internet has made the world so much smaller. If I had waited for my guy to make the first move, I'd probably still b e waiting
Sometimes the bolder, more adventurous partner just needs to jump in and do it, no big deal. Just go and have a great time, you only get to meet for the first time once, so make the most of it. Good luck.
Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert EinsteinComment
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Like Moon, I think I'd still be waiting if I waited for him to come here first. I went from the UK to the USA first to see him, it didn't feel weird at all for me to be going there first. Go for it!Comment
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Yup! I went first as well! No big deal and no one really cared. I am so glad I did thought.Comment
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I went first too. I've done the long distance thing a few times and each time, I went to them first. I actually feel much more comfortable having that control.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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Making the first move is perfectly okay, imo. And I don't like the mindset of the opposite and definition of gender roles like that. I have been more "active" myself in dating thing overall and I can't imagine it any other way, I am just like this.
ALSO, I don't think visiting counts as first move or anything. My SO is visiting me because it is far more convenient for us but I wouldn't hesitate doing it myself if that wasn't the case. To me, it's not really a move but giving a deeper meaning to something that already is there and something that REQUIRES time spent irl too.
Best of luck with your visit :3Comment
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I am not always one for, going against the norm. But in your case, his passiveness essentially requires you to 'take the bull by the horns' so to speak. The bull in your case, is the making the first move....
Wait a minute....my physical health issues require my going against the norm.
So go with gusto.Last edited by Chris516; September 10, 2016, 02:28 PM.
First Visit: September 2016
Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)
John 3:16For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal lifeJohn 4:12I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.Comment
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When it comes to dating I am definitely the no nonsense kind of person. Too many times I have waited for the guy to make the 1st "move" and ended up w/nothing. I have a feeling if I didn't get the ball rolling on visiting him, enough time would pass where we would prob both lose interest, I know I prob would, not meeting someone face to face.Comment
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Congrats on making plans to meet! It is exciting.
Nothing wrong with making the first move. This is 2016, not the 1800's! I was the first one in my relationship to make a plan for visiting (although in the end he did end up visiting me first because of circumstances).
As far as how to deal with what people will think about it? Don't worry about them. People will always have something to say. But this is your life. Not theirs.
Good luck, stay safe, and enjoy yourself!Comment
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