Broken up twice, together again (hopefully for good)
Since I've joined this site three years ago, I've broken up with my British boyfriend twice. Each time my decision. Each time a regret. Each time we've gotten back together. It seems for good this time and I'm very happy to say our relationship is very strong now.
Both of the breakups had to do with communication, or a lack there of. At first, I was absolutely head over heels for this guy but, in the beginning, his communication wasn't that great. After always being the first to initiate conversation, I got tired of feeling like it was a one sided relationship. We were both insecure but he more or less refused to cam. I felt like the relationship wasn't going anywhere at all. So, I ended it. A month passed and we got back together.
Round two, same issue. Lack of communication. We cammed a little more and it became more real since I got to see a face, but still not very often. I struggled with insecurities and jealousy. We tried very hard to meet in person. He made plans twice but didn't follow through. I made plans as well, even going as far as purchasing a ticket. I didn't follow through. Partially for monetary reasons, partially for insecurities. Again, we were both so insecure and again I didn't feel like the relationship was going anywhere. At this point (aside from the month we separated) we had been together for almost 2 years. A recurring issue between us was how his parents did not know about me. This bothered me quite a bit, because he was so close to his family and I couldn't understand why I was not even mentioned. It felt like he was ashamed of me, or of being in a long distance relationship with someone he only met over the internet. I didn't feel like he took it as seriously as I did.
So I ended it once again.
Several months passed. I hooked up with an old friend/co-worker who had recently gone through a divorce. We both showed an interest in each other years before. Nothing was explicitly said or done while he was married, but enough "hints" were thrown both ways for us each to pick up on a mutual attraction. It was wrong and I still feel guilty. Angry from my failed relationship (and I assume he was angry from his) he contacted me after he noticed I was no longer in a relationship. I was hopeful a real relationship would come from it. I traveled to see him and we spent some time together. But returning back home he quickly distanced himself and I was left feeling horrible (with no one to blame but myself). I got depressed and suffered from severe anxiety for a while. I still feel guilty over this and it will likely take me a while to get over it.
Every now and then I would talk to my (then) ex boyfriend as nothing but friends. I tried to distance myself and keep our conversations nothing but platonic. But we began to talk more and more and reestablish a relationship. He asked me to give him one more chance and communication would be better. So I gave him another chance. I'm glad I did.
We began to cam daily despite both of us being insecure. But that faded away over time and we were both comfortable with it. Camming moved to everyday, even if it was a little every day. And then, FINALLY we made plans to meet and went through with it. That was May-June of this year. He came all the way to the US to see me!
We were so nervous of seeing each other in person for the first time. But as soon as I saw him FINALLY, it was as if we had known each other in person for years. Nothing was awkward. It was immediately natural. We had the time of our lives. He met my mother, father, grandparents, and aunt. And, together, he FINALLY introduced me to his mother, father, sister, and grandparents all on cam. That was extremely nerve racking and they were shocked... then yelled at him for not telling them sooner. HA. Told him!
We're now planning a second meeting, this time I'm going to Britain and get to be with him and meet his family for Xmas and New Years. We are stronger than ever, and his parents even make it a point to say hi to me on cam every now and then.
I'm a realist- anything can happen with relationships at anytime.... But I feel this relationship is going somewhere amazing.
I'm just writing because I went through the messages of when we broke up, and I cried because I felt like I was just horrible. I wanted to get it off my chest. I've learned a lot, we've both grown. Unfortunately we have been through some bumps, but it truly made us stronger. Perhaps those bumps happened for a reason. But, I am so happy right now, and just feel like everything will be alright from now on. <3
If you read that long post... thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment, advise, share a story.
Both of the breakups had to do with communication, or a lack there of. At first, I was absolutely head over heels for this guy but, in the beginning, his communication wasn't that great. After always being the first to initiate conversation, I got tired of feeling like it was a one sided relationship. We were both insecure but he more or less refused to cam. I felt like the relationship wasn't going anywhere at all. So, I ended it. A month passed and we got back together.
Round two, same issue. Lack of communication. We cammed a little more and it became more real since I got to see a face, but still not very often. I struggled with insecurities and jealousy. We tried very hard to meet in person. He made plans twice but didn't follow through. I made plans as well, even going as far as purchasing a ticket. I didn't follow through. Partially for monetary reasons, partially for insecurities. Again, we were both so insecure and again I didn't feel like the relationship was going anywhere. At this point (aside from the month we separated) we had been together for almost 2 years. A recurring issue between us was how his parents did not know about me. This bothered me quite a bit, because he was so close to his family and I couldn't understand why I was not even mentioned. It felt like he was ashamed of me, or of being in a long distance relationship with someone he only met over the internet. I didn't feel like he took it as seriously as I did.
So I ended it once again.
Several months passed. I hooked up with an old friend/co-worker who had recently gone through a divorce. We both showed an interest in each other years before. Nothing was explicitly said or done while he was married, but enough "hints" were thrown both ways for us each to pick up on a mutual attraction. It was wrong and I still feel guilty. Angry from my failed relationship (and I assume he was angry from his) he contacted me after he noticed I was no longer in a relationship. I was hopeful a real relationship would come from it. I traveled to see him and we spent some time together. But returning back home he quickly distanced himself and I was left feeling horrible (with no one to blame but myself). I got depressed and suffered from severe anxiety for a while. I still feel guilty over this and it will likely take me a while to get over it.
Every now and then I would talk to my (then) ex boyfriend as nothing but friends. I tried to distance myself and keep our conversations nothing but platonic. But we began to talk more and more and reestablish a relationship. He asked me to give him one more chance and communication would be better. So I gave him another chance. I'm glad I did.
We began to cam daily despite both of us being insecure. But that faded away over time and we were both comfortable with it. Camming moved to everyday, even if it was a little every day. And then, FINALLY we made plans to meet and went through with it. That was May-June of this year. He came all the way to the US to see me!
We were so nervous of seeing each other in person for the first time. But as soon as I saw him FINALLY, it was as if we had known each other in person for years. Nothing was awkward. It was immediately natural. We had the time of our lives. He met my mother, father, grandparents, and aunt. And, together, he FINALLY introduced me to his mother, father, sister, and grandparents all on cam. That was extremely nerve racking and they were shocked... then yelled at him for not telling them sooner. HA. Told him!
We're now planning a second meeting, this time I'm going to Britain and get to be with him and meet his family for Xmas and New Years. We are stronger than ever, and his parents even make it a point to say hi to me on cam every now and then.
I'm a realist- anything can happen with relationships at anytime.... But I feel this relationship is going somewhere amazing.
I'm just writing because I went through the messages of when we broke up, and I cried because I felt like I was just horrible. I wanted to get it off my chest. I've learned a lot, we've both grown. Unfortunately we have been through some bumps, but it truly made us stronger. Perhaps those bumps happened for a reason. But, I am so happy right now, and just feel like everything will be alright from now on. <3
If you read that long post... thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment, advise, share a story.
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