This sucks

[Berriespnk]

Hey you all!!

Need some advice having long distance relationship sucks !!!!!!! It's so depressing I love my partner but it is hard not having him to cry and hug when I've had a sucky day! I feel so alone! I know many of you might say to just talk to him about my day but I need him physically to relieve all the stress I have. I still have 3 months to go until I see him and I think I just messed it up all last night because I blew up about how long distance relationships suck!! He is okay with it, but I am not. I feel so depressed, especially the weekends when I wish I had him to hangout.

Help any advise ?

[R&R]

Welcome to LFAD.

LDR's aren't for everyone. Not all people can handle not having their SO around physically and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people have to give it a try and then if they realize it's not for them, then they end the relationship and don't do another LDR. Some people are okay with being in an LDR - thus, this site. I haven't seen my SO in 14 months and I won't see him until November. There are people on here where it's been much longer than that. It's all a matter of what you want and what you can handle.

The biggest advice on here is to keep busy or distracted. I think part of the key of that is that you are doing these things for YOU. Do things that you enjoy because you enjoy them. Learn new things that you want to learn. Every person should have a very full life on their own and you need to make sure that you have that yourself. It makes it easier when you have plenty of your own things to focus on.

I also tell everyone that your attitidue is going to have so much to do with how you deal with it. If you spend the day "I'm miserable because he's not here" or "I can't go out and do anything because I'm so sad and I can't function" - well, guess what? It's going to suck. If you wake up and start your day with "It's going to be a great day. I can get all this done and I'm going to go out and do this" - your day is going to be better. And every day that passes is one day closer to when you see your SO again. Days go by so fast - make sure you are actually LIVING them.

[Berriespnk]

Thank you for replying,

I totally get that this isn't for me. Yet, this person has always been the love of my life sort of say. Many years ago we dated he was away and I broke up with him. I never wanted to deal with his LDR. For 5 years that I stayed away but I never stopped thinking about him. Somehow we ended seeing each other about a year ago and after knowing how much it hurt me to have broken up with him the first time, I decided to give it a chance. I needed to know what would happen if I did give it a chance. We were together for a while but 3 months ago he had to leave the country due to his visa expiring and recently he got news it will not renewed so it's not like he can come back. I have to wait 3 more months (a total of 6ish) to visit. I know that even if u cut this relationship again, I will only hurt myself. I am starting a career and it's so stressful, so it's not like I'm not busy. I am busy, but I just wish I had him. I might sound delusional right now, so sorry. This is just so frustrating. Not knowing what is going to happen.

I congratulate you for being able to hold up 14 months I can't imagine that.

[xxcazaxx]

I think that we all have times where we desperately want to be physically with our OH. Sometimes I find it helps to take one day at a time. I also love R and R's advice too

If you wake up and start your day with "It's going to be a great day. I can get all this done and I'm going to go out and do this" - your day is going to be better. And every day that passes is one day closer to when you see your SO again. Days go by so fast - make sure you are actually LIVING them.

[Chris516]

LDRs' suck unless you have a goal that keeps you going in the LDR.

[Freebird]

LDRs are not easy at all. They take a lot of sacrifice. They take a lot of heart. They take a lot of dedication. They do suck at times.

I'm in the 3rd year of mine and the distance has caused a lot of stress, including a few breakups (and makeups). Fortunately we are very strong now, but it absolutely took a lot of work and time building this relationship to what it is today.

I ask myself, would I be happier without him? Nope! I am so happy being in a relationship with him, even if he's miles and miles away. Sure, a CDR/local relationship would just be so easy (well, distance/stress wise at least!). But I want him.

You have to ask yourself if the distance is worth the stress. Having a set date of when you get to see your SO helps me a lot. Having an end goal in mind also helps.

Good luck.

[marisas]

I feel the same way as you do. During the day I'm okay because I'm busy with work and classes, but night is always rough for me. I feel so lonely, and I can't really talk to my boyfriend about it. I hate making him feel guilty about leaving because he loves and is excited about what he's doing, and I know it makes him sad when I bring up how sad I feel. My friends are no help, so it's mostly me crying alone in my room haha. Something that sometimes works for me is writing a big long letter or note in my phone about all the things I'm feeling or what I would say to him if I could. It makes me feel like I actually have someone to talk too. If you ever need anything, feel free to message me.