Hello there.i really need help.I've been a LDR for over a year now with my SO who is 2500 miles away. We had our first meeting in the end of July which we spent in my family's house (we are both 17 and by my country's laws he can't book a hotel or something). He stayed for 3 weeks and it was so nice having him here, we had lots of fun and got to know each other even better.
Everything was fine until my parents called me out one night while i was in my room and wanted to talk to me. They started talking about all the things they are irritated by (some practically correctable things which i mentioned to him and he stopped doing). But then they started talking about more serious things.. Even tho they say that he is a great person with a pure heart, they also say that because he has been hurt a lot by people (mainly his parents but also in relationships) he will be a "burden"for me in the future because his past will never go away and stuff.
Also , that he isnt thought many things which they didn't clarify much but i think its about cleaning properly and stuff because he kind of spills stuff a lot which we've talked about and he improved a lot in that sense. They think because his parents haven't thought his these "basic"things i will have to and that it will continue throughout our whole lives together if we decide to be together in the future (we really love each other and we do want that). They say that I'll just be like his mother all the time and stuff and think that won't be good for me cause i need to focus on my education and career and that he will be holding me back in some sort of way.
Now i think they're overreacting about these things and that they are just being too worried. I don't think teaching someone some stuff is bad and that it will go on forever. It's not like he was sitting all the time doing nothing he helped with doing dishes and cleaning when i showed him how we do it at home.i think this particular issue comes from culture difference as i am from the Balkans and he is from the western society where they do things differently. Because of that they think i should stick with someone from my culture... On top of that they are telling me i shouldn't have serious relationships at this age and that i should just go out with guys from my country and "have fun".
All of this is confusing me so much... Am i not seeing something and being naive? I feel like they just want me to break up with him honestly... Like they are using non direct methods to make me do it cause they know if they tell me straight that I'll distance myself from them and NOT break up with him.
I love him dearly and i know he does too.We've been through a lot together despite our young age and that made us stronger as a couple. He treats me very well, cares about me and truly accepts me for who i am with all my flaws .. He spent a lot to come visit and it means the world to me.Ive never had such a good and open connection with somebody and ive been in previous relationships where people couldnt handle the fact that im very closed off person and dont share my feelings. It took me time to open up to him but he made it an easy process by being patient and loving to me. I share everything with him and so does he.
Im afraid to open up about all this with my parents. I'm afraid of causing an argument with them because to be honest when i was younger my mother used to shout a lot for like the tiniest things and it has damaged me...i dont know how to talk to them openly whenever i do i start crying...i dont want to let them think im fine with what they're saying so i know i must talk to them.i spoke to my boyfriend about this and he was obviously hurt. Maybe i shouldn't have but i needed help. He says i should really talk to them and open up about all the things I've been resisting to say.
I'm sorry for the long thread and thank you if yoj read through it.. Do you think my parents are right to judge him this way? And how can i make talking to them easier? Please give me advice any would be appreciated i feel so hopeless..
Everything was fine until my parents called me out one night while i was in my room and wanted to talk to me. They started talking about all the things they are irritated by (some practically correctable things which i mentioned to him and he stopped doing). But then they started talking about more serious things.. Even tho they say that he is a great person with a pure heart, they also say that because he has been hurt a lot by people (mainly his parents but also in relationships) he will be a "burden"for me in the future because his past will never go away and stuff.
Also , that he isnt thought many things which they didn't clarify much but i think its about cleaning properly and stuff because he kind of spills stuff a lot which we've talked about and he improved a lot in that sense. They think because his parents haven't thought his these "basic"things i will have to and that it will continue throughout our whole lives together if we decide to be together in the future (we really love each other and we do want that). They say that I'll just be like his mother all the time and stuff and think that won't be good for me cause i need to focus on my education and career and that he will be holding me back in some sort of way.
Now i think they're overreacting about these things and that they are just being too worried. I don't think teaching someone some stuff is bad and that it will go on forever. It's not like he was sitting all the time doing nothing he helped with doing dishes and cleaning when i showed him how we do it at home.i think this particular issue comes from culture difference as i am from the Balkans and he is from the western society where they do things differently. Because of that they think i should stick with someone from my culture... On top of that they are telling me i shouldn't have serious relationships at this age and that i should just go out with guys from my country and "have fun".
All of this is confusing me so much... Am i not seeing something and being naive? I feel like they just want me to break up with him honestly... Like they are using non direct methods to make me do it cause they know if they tell me straight that I'll distance myself from them and NOT break up with him.
I love him dearly and i know he does too.We've been through a lot together despite our young age and that made us stronger as a couple. He treats me very well, cares about me and truly accepts me for who i am with all my flaws .. He spent a lot to come visit and it means the world to me.Ive never had such a good and open connection with somebody and ive been in previous relationships where people couldnt handle the fact that im very closed off person and dont share my feelings. It took me time to open up to him but he made it an easy process by being patient and loving to me. I share everything with him and so does he.
Im afraid to open up about all this with my parents. I'm afraid of causing an argument with them because to be honest when i was younger my mother used to shout a lot for like the tiniest things and it has damaged me...i dont know how to talk to them openly whenever i do i start crying...i dont want to let them think im fine with what they're saying so i know i must talk to them.i spoke to my boyfriend about this and he was obviously hurt. Maybe i shouldn't have but i needed help. He says i should really talk to them and open up about all the things I've been resisting to say.
I'm sorry for the long thread and thank you if yoj read through it.. Do you think my parents are right to judge him this way? And how can i make talking to them easier? Please give me advice any would be appreciated i feel so hopeless..
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