So hard...

[MsInterpret]

I am such a worry wort...but I worry about getting hurt...

I've been friends with my guy for 12 years on Feb 5th...We recently became exclusive and it just so happens it had to be when he is in CA and I in WA.

So this is testing my level of trust.

He wants to get married...and talks about it every day...Texts me in the morning, calls or texts to say he's thinking of me...and we always end our day talking about what happened during each others day.

I don't know why I keep thinking the worst will happen between us...

"You are all i want in a wife.. Dont be so hard on yourself ok... You truly loved.. And highly respected." - he said to me on FB

I have such a great guy! What the heck is wrong with me?!!

[Rach321]

He sounds great to me! Have you been hurt in the past? I think this can be a common reaction when we've been hurt before- We can't possibly believe that this time will be different, especially when it seems too good to be true.
I have a similar story to yours- 8 years as friends/sometimes more but 2 years as an official couple. It took me awhile to trust that it was really going to last this time (because I'd been really hurt in a couple of relationships before this). But the trust does come eventually! Appreciate what you have! If you worry for no reason, you risk damaging a relationship that could be amazing!

[MsInterpret]

Yes I have been hurt in the past...Many times...He told me in the past that he loved a long time ago, but I told him I didn't want him then because I was with someone else...And our friendship ended on a bad note for 4 years...And through that time I was dumped by the same guy I was dating...And that was bad

He keeps telling me he will never hurt me, and that he is going to wait till I put my guard down and that it will be so much better when I do...

But inside of me wants to believe it, but I'm torn with the thought that it's not true...ARGH!!!

Plus, I can't stop thinking about him...

I read a post by another gal and she said that when her and her guy are on video and they get off she gets depressed...I feel the same way

[bigmac62]

Most times, it is hard to deal with trust issues. That's one of the perils of a long-distance relationship...not being there when you think the other person may be lying or being unfaithful. However, it also goes the same way...having the security that he won't cheat on you because there's always that thought of you in the back of his mind that will make him resist temptation.

If it is truly meant to be (and we all hope it is), he'll try to work through that hurt with you so you can let your guard down and really truly let the love shine through.

As for the depression, most everybody feels the same way when leaving someone like that. I know I do when my girlfriend signs off...it's like when you're talking with your significant other, you feel like you're right there with them, but when they (or you or both) sign off or turn off your video, you're suddenly slapped in the face by the fact that they're not actually there. One good idea to combat it is to immerse yourself in your work or homework or find a new hobby. This should occupy the lonely hours until you can talk with/see them again. Another thing to do if you want to see their face during that time is to carry a picture of your significant other and keep it in plain view whenever you can. I do this during the lonely times, and it feels like she's right there with me.

Hope this helps! If you feel like you need someone to talk to, just send me a message or an instant message...I'm always around to give advice or a shoulder to cry on.

[MsInterpret]

Thanks so much Josh! He did tell me a few times that he wasn't going to give up on me...I'm working hard on the trust

[Tanja]

I've never been really hurt in my life (luckily) but I can imagine that after it it's hard to trust anyone and let them in cause there's always the fear that you're gonna get hurt again. I just have to give you an old and cliche advice lol - when you fall off the horse just get back on. Now I know it doesn't work quite as easily on emotional level but in time I'm sure you will heal and you'll trust that special someone your heart and when you do you're gonna find out it's so worth it and you can put all of those bad memories behind you.

Being in an LDR takes a whole lot of patience and because of the distance you don't feel as pushed, you can have your own space and time alone with yourself which should also help in your situation. The distance forces you both to take things slowly and in this case it's probably for the best, if you would see him in person too often you might feel like he's pressuring you and you might just call it off completely.

I hope you'll stick with your guy and he turns out to be the wonderful person we all want him to be and he'll never hurt you.

[Roberta]

Although I can't really speak from personal experience, I can understand what you must be feeling. =/ Trusting someone, especially in an LDR, is difficult for a lot of people. I know that you've been hurt in the past, but it sounds like you've got a guy that really loves you. =D It may take some time to trust him completely, but that's okay. Don't worry yourself even more for not being able to trust him lol. It might take a while, but as long as both of you are committed to the relationship (and it sounds like both of you are ) then trust will come.

[Laura]

Thinking the worst thing will happen, though all evidence points the other way... I would say that sounds like me, actually. It's the distance, and probably that it seems too good to be true. Try not to worry so much; it sounds like you two are brilliant together, and if you've been friends for 12 years you probably know each other inside out. Plus, you've actually seen what you're like just as people, without the exclusive romantic aspect. Your circumstances sound perfect for a committed relationship to blossom. :-D

[Gurl]

He does sound awesome and like he cares for you very, very much. Plus, he seems willing to work through your issues with you, which is pretty uncommon in this life. You seem to have a good thing going.

When I start thinking that what I have with my SO is too good to be true or that my memories make things seem better than they were, I start to think about how things would be if I am right in what I recall....I try to put a positive spin to my thoughts so they don't cause me or us problems. I don't know if/how you would do this for yourself, but it might help you deal a bit better. Maybe even start trying to plan ways to move through your issues?

IDK what I would do in your situation, I am too trusting to ever really have dealt with what you are going through. I've had that niggle of fear that this relationship might go bad... but I can usually knock that out by reminding myself that I am worthy of finding happiness and how this feels like it is the right relationship for me...and that I should give us both a fighting chance to get it right instead of sabotaging things with my negativity. Doesn't always help much, but it almost always helps at least a little.

I hope you can find an idea or two in there to help you out in coping with this. Above all, believe in yourself...you deserve someone wonderful and it seems you have found a someone who fits that description. Hang in and be strong, and things will work out as they are meant to.... Just enjoy the ride because this life is about the journey, not the destination.

[Mio]

I know trust issues are really hard to overcome! But girl, you should give it a chance! You know him for quite a long time, so you must have a good idea of his tendencies and behavior. Why you think he would change for worse all of a sudden? I hope you can work it out!