Being told not to come visit

[sarbear]

Ultimately it's up to you and how you feel. If you truly feel that he is not being faithful, and you feel this neglected, go with your gut. But, please do hear his side as well. I wish you the best of luck, whatever the outcome is, and I do hope you stick around in the community.

Thank you. I've heard his side one too many. I backed down, one too many times when I shouldn't have. He's hurt me too many times, I've given him too many chances. I just can't keep doing this to myself. But thank you I will definitely stick around.

[differentcountries]

Thank you all for your support. I told him last night (Tuesday) we needed to talk. And he said, "Ok. This weekend". I told him that isn't going to work, it's too far away. And he responded with, "Well, I'm really busy tomorrow so Thursday?" Again, I am too busy to even try to talk about everything. I think I've decided I need to break up with him. It just feels to crappy. Right before he even told me not to come visit, he told me he feels bad because I'm always bored at home not doing anything and I should go on dates with other people. And he doesn't deserve me and I'm not enough for him. It just raised more red flags. ( I know this sounds obsessive and stalkerish, but there's been a history of him talking to other girls while dating me). I check his snapchat count. His snapchat count keeps going up aggressively, and I rarely snapchat him and he never snapchats me. So there's someone that's sending him and he's sending, very frequent snapchats too. Makes me wonder if maybe he's starting to talk to someone else. There's just too much to work past. I was a great girlfriend overall to him, and I shouldn't have to be working this hard in a relationship, when I'm not even get met halfway. It's going to be a tough conversation to have, and I hope I can hold my ground. I'm absolutely terrified to break up with him, I invested so much in him, in us, over the past three years. But, relationships end to only bring better ones in the future, right?

Sometimes confrontation work. It sounds to me like you interpret his vagueness as non-commitment. The problem is that you bring on your lack of trust into a type of detailed survailance of him. I know people who talk to their mum and friends on snap, but given his weird actions lately I can see why you would worry.

Who wants to date a person who is vague about everything? I know I don't. And I have at times screamed at walls because of it. One of the things that came from it was that I discovered that SO was truely scared of loosing me. He even cried, which never happens. I needed to know that he would find it in him to share with me what he found difficult. Without it, we would not have very much.

Relationships ending does not bring us better relationships. Us changing brings us better relationships. Otherwise we just repeat whatever we do, with new people.

[Redheart14]

Only you can decide what you accept and what you're willing to continue to accept in this relationship. Hope you get the answers you need when you talk to him next. Keep us posted and good luck. Stay strong and true to yourself.