Day 3 of No Communication

[newcarcaviar]

As the title coneys, today is day three of no communication after a fight. Fights have not been infrequent lately. They seem to stem from insecurity, mostly on my part, caused by the distance and living situations. I feel like communication is key in any relationship, but particularly in an LDR. In the past, I've messaged him on day 2 of silence from his end. At this point I'm feeling exhausted by it all; the distance, the fighting, his tendency to withdraw. I keep telling myself, "He just doesn't care very much about you. Accept it." I don't feel motivated to try to contact him and resolve it when he won't do the same for me. It feels as though the relationship has been unbalanced for some time, with him doing most of the taking, leaving me with not much to show for anything. I'm likely being immature, but it doesn't feel fair that I should have to reach out and I'm not sure what I would hope for in response anyway. It's sad that this is how it might end, but I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm just venting, but feel free to share any thoughts you may have.

[shaybib]

I am very sorry things going badly for you.
some men try to avoid confrontation so they take a step back and stop communicating. after they have some time they reach out.
you probably know if he is someone of that type. you should decide if you can live with someone like that. don't hope you can change him because changing someone else is very difficult...

[snow]

As the title coneys, today is day three of no communication after a fight. Fights have not been infrequent lately. They seem to stem from insecurity, mostly on my part, caused by the distance and living situations. I feel like communication is key in any relationship, but particularly in an LDR. In the past, I've messaged him on day 2 of silence from his end. At this point I'm feeling exhausted by it all; the distance, the fighting, his tendency to withdraw. I keep telling myself, "He just doesn't care very much about you. Accept it." I don't feel motivated to try to contact him and resolve it when he won't do the same for me. It feels as though the relationship has been unbalanced for some time, with him doing most of the taking, leaving me with not much to show for anything. I'm likely being immature, but it doesn't feel fair that I should have to reach out and I'm not sure what I would hope for in response anyway. It's sad that this is how it might end, but I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm just venting, but feel free to share any thoughts you may have.

If a guy is so stubborn, he won't talk to me even when I initiate the contact, I'd be pissed.
Sometimes my husband and I get so irritated with each other, we don't talk to each other for a while until we sorted the mess out in our heads and then one of us will approach the other - sometimes me, sometimes him - but it has never been more than a day, and never would we not respond if the other person wanted to clear things up.

This is childish behavior on his part, not yours. At this point, I would wait for him.

[hmrambling]

It's one thing to verbalize that one or the other, or both, need to take some time for yourselves and sort things out. It is another to willfully not talk to the other person. It is a sign of maturity, or lack thereof, and is a red flag regarding problem solving abilities.

I doubt a partner who lacks resolution skills would go very far with me these days. Especially if I tried to contact my partner, and she continued to play the silent-punishment game.

Even when I am not ready to reconcile, I need to be able to say so. Not having the ability or will to say so also speaks volumes.

[Mims27]

I agree with the other posters.
Having a couple/few hours to chill out and take a step back is one thing, but three days without communication would not fly with me.