Im feeling lonely

[Mermaid]

Hi, i am really in need of support. I have recently moved 3 hours away from my partner of 3 years for work. He has gone back into education.
I was doing ok but my job involves me being alone lots of the time. He is struggling with his studdies and has become very quick temperature and we can't seem to have a conversation properly anymore.
Im worried about our relationship. Please help.

[QueenD]

Hi Mermaid,

I am so, so sorry you are dealing with this. It's very hard. One thing that we commonly suggest for people in your situation is to find things to do in your city that you enjoy and can occupy your time with. This gives you a distraction, plus also gives you some neat things to talk about with your SO. I am starting to investigate meet ups in my area as a way to meet new people and get out and about. I can have HUGE homebody tendencies and I am trying to have more fun. I also try to go to the gym regularly.

[Fldancer90]

I am so sorry you are feeling lonely. My relationship became a long distance one recently and this past month has been such an adjustment period for both of us. My boyfriend's job keeps him very busy and I've spent a lot of nights wishing we could be together.

What I've realized this past month is that my emotions don't change that he isn't closer and it won't speed up the next time we see eachother. I've tried to make other adjustments in my life to keep myself busy and growing. I got a gym membership, I'm putting more time into bettering my career, and I'm dedicating more time to my family and friends.

My hope for you is that you two find a groove that works for your relationship. Be open about your concerns as you guys develop this LDR.

[Mermaid]

Thank you for your suggestions. I met up with him last weekend for the first time, it was lovely. Now im back to trying to keep myself busy waiting for him to text me even just a good morning.
I know im feeling sorry for myself and i need to make allowances for him being busy too but i make time to text and call, but its always me.
Is it just me??

[Fldancer90]

You're not alone in how you are feeling.

I went through very similar stages extremely recently myself. The first two weekends after my boyfriend moved, he was able to come back to see me. It gave me a false sense of how the LDR would be and I thought it'd be a breeze. After that second amazing weekend together, he left for at least a month where he could not come down and I could not come up. (He's a college athletic coach and would be traveling for tournaments every weekend in September.) When he left the last time we saw each other, I fell into such a sadness.

For the first two weeks, I was living my life for the time I could communicate with him. If we had a day of very little talking, I would find myself in a horrible mood. He's not a huge texter but I would wait tirelessly for him to initiate and show me he cared. When I didn't hear from him first, all kinds of thoughts would go through my mind. I knew I needed to find better of my emotions because I couldn't live like that.

Him and I had a conversation two weeks ago because I was feeling like we weren't talking enough and I know it's not the last time we'll talk like that. But having that conversation was such a good move because it gave me some reassurance. It helped me stop waiting by the phone and made me realize he was living his life so I should live mine. I also realized he's a man, and they need a woman's help sometimes!! Haha

Right now when we're adjusting, I do most of the initiating. I try not to let that bother me but instead use it to find a routine for us. If I routinely wish him good morning, as he becomes more settled, he'll feel like doing it too. That's my hope anyway! Haha.

I know it's hard, but reading your posts has helped me find comfort because I have realized I'm not alone in what I'm feeling and going through. I hope you feeling that each day you're finding your way more and more. Good luck!

[Mermaid]

Thank you so much. Im trying to be a bit more fair with our communication so giving him rhe benifit of the doubt.
I have one problem. I have to share money with him which is fine but i have done this before and my partner at the time left me. This has made me wary.