How do you tell your parents you met your boyfriend online?

[sdf_nst]

My man and I just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We met online three years ago and instantly hit it off. Since then, we've flown back and forth to visit each other 4 times. (My last trip just ended 3 days ago ) I've been wanting to break this big news to my parents for a long time. My sisters know about my SO but I just don't know how to tell my dad. He's very bitter over his divorce with my mom, who met her boyfriend online. I know he wouldn't like it one bit and I'm scared of what will happen when I tell my dad. I don't want my SO and dad to start off on the wrong foot. Is it better to wait till my SO and I are finally living together and introduce him then, or should I get it over with now?

[LadyMarchHare]

First thing's first is telling your dad you're dating. You don't have to say how you met right off the bat, you can gradually work towards it with more positive things said about him to your dad. When you feel you're as good as you're gonna get with the reaction, even if it's bad, tag on "but he lives in x, we met online." If your dad's worth his salt he won't hold your mom's actions against you as you are not your mom nor are you breaking up a home by being with him.

There's no surefire way to make your dad OK with the relationship, but he'll need to put all his bitterness aside if he loves you and be happy that you're happy. It may take time, though.

[sdf_nst]

Thanks a lot!

[Rosebud]

This is difficult to answer since everyone's parents react to these kinds of things differently and I don't think it's wise or fair of me to give you advice that worked in my situation that could be very different for yours.

Personally, I told my parents seperately and at different times, and I told my father first because he's more understanding. Indeed, he was outright happy I was talking to a boy! He had very little problem with me explaining how I wanted to go meet him and such, however I think I should mention I never once outright described it as 'dating'. I think that as supportive as my dad is, using terms like 'boyfriend' might have been a little much, and I also want to wait until we first meet before bringing up such terms around either of my parents. As for my mother, she's very hesitant about letting me even go see him, so I know if I even tried to describe us as even being in a relationship, I'd either get severely laughed or just plain ignored.

You see, while this method of breaking the news slowly to my parens during a quiet time we had together so they could ask questions and such if they so wished worked for me, it won't work for everyone. A good example would be my boyfriend himself as while his father knows about me and that I am visiting soon, his mother still knows nothing for various reasons. And for me to advise him to go about it the same way I broke the news to my parents, well, as I said, different situations needed to be looked at on an individual basis.

I'm sorry if that doesn't help you very much, but since you have been with your boyfriend a few times in person, I suggest you introduce him and your father in person first. That way your dad can meet your boyfriend as an actual person first and judge him on his character as opposed to making snap decisions about him being another 'online boyfriend'.

[sdf_nst]

Thanks Rosebud. You've made a good point in telling a single parent first. I've always thought I'd tell my mother first. She's definitely the more understanding one out of my parents. As for my dad, I can foresee the situation going either way. Either he will just accept the fact or he'll flip out. My father is really old school and doesn't believe in interracial dating. As for me, I'm all about it! So, I've got to tack on another "no-no".