How to deal with negative/unsupportive friends and family?

[MsVisionaryXo]

Hello, everyone I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with negative opinions about my relationship from my friends and also some of my family. I'm someone who likes to feel supported, but I don't have that in my life. I come from a very toxic verbally abusive household, I've had many rough obstacles in my life, and before I met my boyfriend I've never truly dealt with my past. He has been a huge positive support system for me, and I have done a lot of healing because of his help. I have been attending counseling for about 4 months, thanks to his encouragement and him being so understanding. Now that I feel like I am in a great place in my life mentally, and emotionally, I'm trying to share my happiness with my friends and family. As soon as I speak about my relationship and how happy I am with how well we have been progressing in our relationship, I get nothing but quick negative response, which sting badly and catch me off guard. from both friends and family. my family thinks its a waste of time, and my friends always assume he's cheating on me.
In July 18th I went to visit my boyfriend and spent a whole month with him, before school started. However, before I left my trip, my friends were so mean about me taking a month out of my life to go spend it with him. I'd assumed they'd be happy for me since they've seen my hardships in my life, and now that I am in a happier, healthier place, I'd thought they would be somewhat happy for me, but it was the complete opposite, they said how do I know he hasn't cheated on me, why am I wasting my money for "some" guy (he's my love), I should just find someone locally, its not going to work out. This conversation happened the last night before my trip up to see him. it left me completely crushed because I was out "celebrating" my trip to see him, instead I felt paranoid, and ganged-up on. Now to the present time, they refuse to talk about my relationship or acknowledge that I am in one. I just don't feel like I can be friends with them anymore, but sometimes, I let their opinions get to me, and somewhat believe what they have to say is real, this puts a strain in my relationship because my boyfriend is a good person, how do I cut that negativity out, or is my only option to cut my friendships.
We've been friends for 13 years, but I feel like I have nothing in common with any of them, like we are in different places in our lives.
My friends are out partying, sleeping around, while I'm committed, and growing, trying to make a future with my boyfriend.
Any advice on how to handle this situation?
thanks!!!!!

[R&R]

Sometimes we just outgrow our friends or mature at a different pace. At 24 I was married, owned a home and was pregnant with my first child. I had friends who were still in the party zone. We tended to hang out less often and I became friends with people who were in the same position as me. You may not necessarily need to cut your friendships but you may want to severely limit the time you spend with them and what you tell them.

Real friends will be happy for your happiness and encouraging you in the fact that you are getting your life on track in all fronts. Don't let people drag you down just because they have been around you for a long time. Years doesn't equal beneficial. Good luck!

[Harlequin]

You need to reach a point where you can decide that their words mean nothing. It's like a breaking point where your mind eventually just goes "You know what? Fuck it." and suddenly, their words have very little to no impact. Realize these people are miserable, and miserable people are going to try to tear down other people as best they can. You don't need to prove anything to them, and you owe them nothing. You will never make these people happy unless you're just as miserable as they are, and even then, that's not a guarantee. You don't want that. You don't need that. This relationship has been a very positive influence in your life, which is amazing and I'm very happy for you. You don't need their approval. You don't need to do anything but whatever it is that will make you happy and successful in life.

When I announced my engagement, my sister went ballistic. She had nothing but negative things to say about it. She told me all about how my fiancé is going to cheat on me, and there's nothing I can do about it except basically watch as all these women line up at our bedroom door to sleep with him. Also, I'm apparently going to cheat on him, because that's just the ~lifestyle~. Like, she was really, really bitter and angry, but she tried to dress it up like she was looking out for me. I was initially hurt by her comments, because why the hell would you ever say that to someone, but I reminded myself that she's wrong. Just straight-up wrong. Instead of being upset, and instead of worrying about cheating that isn't going to happen, I pitied her. I felt bad that she was such a miserable person, she felt the need to try to tear me down during one of the happiest moments of my life. Her words and her attitude don't define me or my fiancé. I can't get rid of family, but I can tune them out. I found the best way to do that is to just say "okay" and be dismissive whenever they say something shitty. So like:
"Your fiancé is going to cheat on you and give you all sorts of STDs!!"
"Okay."
"It's not okay."
"Eh, I'll cross that bridge if I get to it."
Even if it does rattle you inside, as long as you don't act like it, they don't get the satisfaction of doing it.

As for your friends, I say get rid of them. It sounds like you've outgrown them, and there are plenty of other people in the world who are on a similar level as you. You want people in your life who raise you up, not bring you down.
EDIT
I saw R&R's post after I posted mine, and I also agree with what she says. Even if you don't cut your friends out completely, you should at least limit the time you spend with them.

[MsVisionaryXo]

Thank you!!!! This actually left me teary-eyed, its nice for someone to give healthy helpful advice, instead of hurtful opinions.
My friends are very cynical and rude, I've distanced myself from them quiet a bit. Just to give myself time to grow, and work on self development and my relationship. When I do hang out with them, I feel so disconnected and I think to myself....."these are my friends". It just hurt, that while I took sometime to work on myself for the better, my "friends" just seem to want to tear me down and all the progress I've made. I will limit the time I spend with them, and you are so right, I shouldn't give them the satisfaction of making me doubt my relationship when I know I have a healthy positive relationship with my boyfriend. I am sorry about what your sister said to you, that must have been so hurtful, but I'm glad you are strong enough to know better. Congrats on your engagement!!!!! Wishing you nothing but love and happiness.

[xxcazaxx]

You aren't alone here. There is a group of 7 of us in my group of friends. I used to be closest to one girl who has been very unsupportive. To be honest, the way that she is acting it is like she is completely jealous. This person has changed over the last 8 months or so and is negative all of the time, or making little digs (which I have come to discover all relate to things that she is insecure about so by making these digs she makes herself feel better). I understand that I need less of her in my life but it is hard when you are in a big group (that said, other members of the group have said that they feel like they are at breaking point with her). Do you feel like there may also be an element of jealousy with your friends?

[Amaris]

Everyone already gave really good advice. But I also want to tell you, don't listen to the negativity. It's your life, don't let it be influenced by the people that don't encourage you to follow your dreams.
And I know some of them have been your friends for a long period of time. But the thing is. I know what it is.. My friends influenced me too, and that caused me to fuck it up with my SO.
So stay in that happy moment with your so, enjoy it. And listen to yourself and the positive people around you. Your real friends. Not the ones that are acting this way.
And we're your friends here too, remember that!