I really struggle to end relationships even when it's the right thing to do

[Jelly11]

Does anyone else have this issue?

My last relationship was four years long and I knew it was wrong from the first six months but I could never bring myself to walk away and I don't know why.

My current LDR has been for around six months now and if I was to write a list of pros and cons, there would be ten times as many cons. I know deep down that it is not right and it can't work yet I just cannot bring myself to do anything about it!

I suppose I just wondered if anyone is similar to this or has any advice. I constantly feel like I trap myself but I don't deal with break ups well at all, I suppose sometimes it feels like dragging it on prolongs the pain. I don't know.

[Redheart14]

Be honest with your SO, don't string it out. Better sooner than later. Imagine how you'd feel if your SO did it to you.

[R&R]

If you know you aren't in the right relationship, then the right thing to do is end it. Yes, it may hurt both of you for awhile but it is better than dragging it out. You are taking away from him the opportunity for meeting the right person and for you to meet someone more compatible for you by staying with someone you don't want to be with.

[hmrambling]

A lot of people don't follow intuition or acknowledge red flags. Trust your intuition. By not doing so, you are doubting yourself. Invest in yourself and have faith in yourself by trusting your intuition. I suggest you autopsy the relationship, and it will cause you to look at why you stay(ed). Autopsy

[norah]

Yes!! I know!!! Facing a similar situation. I know him so well. I know he is a sweetheart inside. But all I been getting recently is blame for being busy. He has had a bad past. And I worry if I leave him he'll slip into depression again. I don't want that. But on the other hand, this isn't working out for me. These are crucial years for me and I need to devote my time to my career too. Huge dilemma! Stringing it for now.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Does anyone else have this issue?

My last relationship was four years long and I knew it was wrong from the first six months but I could never bring myself to walk away and I don't know why.

My current LDR has been for around six months now and if I was to write a list of pros and cons, there would be ten times as many cons. I know deep down that it is not right and it can't work yet I just cannot bring myself to do anything about it!

I suppose I just wondered if anyone is similar to this or has any advice. I constantly feel like I trap myself but I don't deal with break ups well at all, I suppose sometimes it feels like dragging it on prolongs the pain. I don't know.

I know where you are coming from, making that decision is very hard. When we fall in love we tend to stifle those doubts as much as possible, eventually though we can no longer deny what is in front of us. I ended my 1st relationship, I walked away w/a totally broken heart. I had so many doubts, but for months I denied them like crazy. I wanted to stay w/him so badly. Eventually I knew I would be miserable if I stayed w/him and I left. It took me months before I could even look at another guy w/out feeling complete sadness. The temptation to run right back to him was strong and I found myself crying at random times. Think of it this way, its better to deal w/the break up then w/an unhappy life w/that person. The longer you drag out the break up, the more you get attached. I wish you luck w/everything.

[Chris516]

I must be a glutton for punishment. Because I am a very forgiving person.

Both my (ex)wife(local not LDR), and my first (ex)fiance(LDR to CD) both blamed me for a lot of the problems in the relationship.

My developmentally-delayed(ex)wife left me at 4.75yrs. into the marriage. But when I first discussed getting a divorce six months after she left, she begged me not to. So instead of saying to her that I would do it anyway. We remained married but separated another 3.75yrs. when she was finally comfortable with the thought. But it became obvious after the divorce was finalized. That no time would have been right for her. She started crying her eyes out on the shoulders of every female family member on my side, that was there for support.(none from her side of the family)

My mentally ill (ex)fiance was good but, she was also emotionally, and verbally abusive. After four years, I told her not 'diagnose' me again. When I said that, she freaked and left. I was always forgiving her because of her mental illness, and that no one is perfect.

When I get into a relationship with a woman. I give it my emotional/psychological 'all'. I won't go half-hearted into a relationship. If I find faults, I don't use them as a reason to get out of a relationship.

My (ex)wife cheated on me while we were engaged. That was probably a sign of things to come. But I was probably in 'puppy love' and ignored it. She may have done it during our marriage when Marriott(her employer at the time) awarded her a weekend stay at one of their hotels. Which may have been the result of our daughter. But a DNA test was never done to verify that she cheated at the hotel.