Lack Of Communication

[gothicsmurf]

Hi,

I posted on the Introductions thread a few months ago about being in an LDR with a woman I met on an online gaming website.

I would appreciate some advice, as I don't feel things are going as well as they could or should be.

Communication was decent (but not great) for the first few days of our relationship, with long-ish chats via IM and multiple texts back and forward too and a voicemail left on my phone. However, since then communication has become less and less, to the point where she takes ages to reply to IM messages I send her, even though she is online at same time as me, and I now very rarely get any reply to the text messages I send her. On a few occasions she has asked me to text her to let her know how I done in a tournament that I told her I was playing in. again, I did not get a reply to those messages.

I have tried phoning her, but she did not answer and all I got was a message via the game website 24 hours later saying "Did you try to call me last night? I didn't see it until this morning ". She did send me a text on my birthday last week, but then tried calling me at 5am when I was in bed (We are both in UK). She left a voicemail but later admited that she wanted to chat to me on my birthday.

I'm at a loss with what to do. I really like her a lot, but I just feel she is being way too distant and not investing enough to make this LDR work. I don't know whether I should try to talk things over to see if there is a way past these issues, or just accept that that's how she is and just walk away.

[sasad]

Hi,

I posted on the Introductions thread a few months ago about being in an LDR with a woman I met on an online gaming website.

I would appreciate some advice, as I don't feel things are going as well as they could or should be.

Communication was decent (but not great) for the first few days of our relationship, with long-ish chats via IM and multiple texts back and forward too and a voicemail left on my phone. However, since then communication has become less and less, to the point where she takes ages to reply to IM messages I send her, even though she is online at same time as me, and I now very rarely get any reply to the text messages I send her. On a few occasions she has asked me to text her to let her know how I done in a tournament that I told her I was playing in. again, I did not get a reply to those messages.

I have tried phoning her, but she did not answer and all I got was a message via the game website 24 hours later saying "Did you try to call me last night? I didn't see it until this morning ". She did send me a text on my birthday last week, but then tried calling me at 5am when I was in bed (We are both in UK). She left a voicemail but later admited that she wanted to chat to me on my birthday.

I'm at a loss with what to do. I really like her a lot, but I just feel she is being way too distant and not investing enough to make this LDR work. I don't know whether I should try to talk things over to see if there is a way past these issues, or just accept that that's how she is and just walk away.

DO you want to try to make it work? If you do talk to her... find out what she needs/wants/expects. tell he the same. We are not mind readers.
She could be shy or just think you are pulling back too.. Never know until you ASK..

[hmrambling]

Is it a relationship? Are you dating? Have the two of you talked about it? You and I are strangers on the internet. It is better if the two of you sort out what is going on. The communication does seem distant and aloof based on the information you presented. Have you been direct in asking her if she wants to date? Or to meet?

[gothicsmurf]

I really do want it to work, but from how she was chatting the other night she seems dead set on ending it because of the lack of communication. She said it was her fault as she wasn't online often, but I pointed out that wasn't the issue and explained how I was feeling with her side of the communication. She didn't reply to that.

We have chatted a few times about us and it is pretty clear that she sees it as a relationship just as much as I do. We've discussed meeting up one day but she doesn't want to rush into anything.

[jperalta2018]

Ok well settle down for a second. If you guys are dating, then try talking to her about it. I remember this past birthday my boyfriend forgot my birthday. To start off, it was not his fault. LDRs are hard! especially if you do not have your SO close to you. If it is hard remembering close relative birthdays or close friends, it is especially hard to remember an LDR birthday. Not saying it is right especially if one has a strong romantic part, but it tends to happen so do not worry Give some time. Also from experience, I have dated my boyfriend for over a year now. And he left for about three months. LDRs are confusing and lack of communication is terrible. So when he came back I calmly told him how I felt and he understood. He told me he would try his best to not leave me alone for so long but I also had to understand that he is busy with school and other things. Chin up!

[Chris516]

Hi,

I posted on the Introductions thread a few months ago about being in an LDR with a woman I met on an online gaming website.

I would appreciate some advice, as I don't feel things are going as well as they could or should be.

Communication was decent (but not great) for the first few days of our relationship, with long-ish chats via IM and multiple texts back and forward too and a voicemail left on my phone. However, since then communication has become less and less, to the point where she takes ages to reply to IM messages I send her, even though she is online at same time as me, and I now very rarely get any reply to the text messages I send her. On a few occasions she has asked me to text her to let her know how I done in a tournament that I told her I was playing in. again, I did not get a reply to those messages.

I have tried phoning her, but she did not answer and all I got was a message via the game website 24 hours later saying "Did you try to call me last night? I didn't see it until this morning ". She did send me a text on my birthday last week, but then tried calling me at 5am when I was in bed (We are both in UK). She left a voicemail but later admited that she wanted to chat to me on my birthday.

I'm at a loss with what to do. I really like her a lot, but I just feel she is being way too distant and not investing enough to make this LDR work. I don't know whether I should try to talk things over to see if there is a way past these issues, or just accept that that's how she is and just walk away.

Leave her a message saying you need to talk.