Helping her in decisions

[sunmat]

EDIT Deleted

[hmrambling]

Has she asked for your help? I've learned that when someone is talking to me to ask myself if there was a question mark at the end of the sentence. If there was not a question mark at the end of the sentence, there's a great chance that if I offer advice that the advice I offer is unsolicited. Many people do not want unsolicited advice.

She may want your support and encouragement. It may be that part of her personality is to review all of the details. A great part of dating is to learn about other people and how they operate. She might be a detail oriented person. She might like to weigh all of her options. It might be okay to say, "hey, I see that you're looking at this, this, and this. Have you looked at that?" That might help.

It's a fine line between helping and over-helping.

Sometimes things can be as simple as, "how can I help?" And when she tells you how you can help, then help.

I really try to avoid getting in the business of offering unsolicited advice in relationships. It can lead to resentments when my partner doesn't follow or want my unsolicited advice.

Again, dating is about learning about the other person. It very well may be part of her personality that she likes to sift through details.

[sunmat]

EDIT Deleted

[C.C.]

I agree with you, hmrambling, but the point of this thread is not only him wanting to help her, BUT her indecisiveness affecting him and his own decisions directly. That's when I think it should be something two people should discuss and talk about rather than him wondering how he can help her.

But don't put her under pressure either, just let her know the situation and stay passive till the time comes, really. If she fails to makes the decisions, than that's what it is and you wouldn't feel as comfortable closing the distance, would you? It's a decision that should be made between two adults, and if it doesn't happen, then she is not ready.
As for you, wouldn't you want to move to France if it weren't for her? I think you should make your own decision that doesn't depend on her and make YOU comfortable. That way you'll be less worried about not being able to make your decisions until she does.

[sunmat]

EDIT: Deleted

[C.C.]

Well, decide accordingly to what's been decided for now, and if she fails to go through what she has decided, it shouldn't mean you changing your plans as well.

[R&R]

Well, decide accordingly to what's been decided for now, and if she fails to go through what she has decided, it shouldn't mean you changing your plans as well.

100% this. It sounds like you need to set your plans as what is going to be best for you. Don't let her being indeciive rule what you are going to do. Make your plans and stick with them. It's up to her to follow through on her part. If she doesn't, well that's on her.