The hard telling questions

[sunnymess54]

I hate how people question infidelity. People I work with are always asking me How I stay faithful, How I can trust him and say things like " when the cat is away, the mice will play, remember that".

I have worked very hard to trust my SO over the last year because of past relationships I have been in and I find it hard sometimes to tell myself that we love each other to much to hurt each other in that way.

How do you all deal with questions and get through the distance?

My SO and I Skype and just talk through are insecurities but sometimes it does get hard because when we visit I don't want to spend the whole time wondering who he's texting or anything in that matter.

[Honour]

I don't get many people questioning my faithfulness to my SO, how we make it work etc anymore, but when I do, I just ignore their unhelpful comments After several years of the same/similar comments being made through my LDR and past relationships, it gets tedious and you just learn to block it out. I don't deal well with the distance, but I just try not to think about it and after awhile, even though it still bugs me at times, it gets put to the back of my mind for the most part.

[Rezie]

To be honest..we never know. It's about trust. No matter if it is LD or CD.

When this topic comes up I usully ask if they go through their spouses phone every night before bed and if they have put a microchip GPS in them so they can monitor every move

[hmrambling]

Why does it matter what other people say or think?

I know what I have in my relationship and don't care what other people say or think.

[zaily]

Each time someone tells you something negative bring something positive to your mind, that way their imprudent comments and questions should have less effect in you if you don't give them your full attention. It is none of their business anyway.

[Moon]

I answer with a smirking smile on my face and say "Well, that's an interesting assumption" with slight sarcasm in my voice. I then maintain eye contact until they become very uncomfortable. I find people are reluctant to ask such stupid questions after that.

[BespectacledNerd]

I answer with a smirking smile on my face and say "Well, that's an interesting assumption" with slight sarcasm in my voice. I then maintain eye contact until they become very uncomfortable. I find people are reluctant to ask such stupid questions after that.

Amazing.

Yeah, I'd reply with sarcasm too. Of all people to ask about me being faithful to my SO, my mom asked if she thought I would have a hard time with it. I was like.. 'uh... Well, considering I don't have a history of cheating and I'm dedicated to my SO, I think I'm gonna be okay on the not-cheating on my SO department..'

It's just whatever, you know? People are going to ask obnoxious questions (sometimes these questions leave little seeds of doubt, don't let it happen!), you just learn to ignore it. It's totally not worth any second pondering over.

[sunnymess54]

I try not to let the little things bug me and don't think too much about it. When you mention being in long distance relationship the first question is "WHY"? and main questions are about our faithfulness to each other and my SO has had his family ask if he loves me. I'm assuming after a year of being together he is honest when he says he does.
I had the discussion with my SO today about what was said and he said "it doesn't matter what other people think, it's what we know and we know that we are faithful, and I am very proud and grateful to have you has my girlfriend". HIs comment helped me with my thoughts but sometimes I do worry because we both have very high sex drives and idk it's just a thought that is kind of always there.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one that has these thoughts or goes through the issues.

[sasad]

I say the skype sex is so kinky and amazing... that usually hushes them....

[BespectacledNerd]

I say the skype sex is so kinky and amazing... that usually hushes them....

ALSO another amazing response. I'm gonna steal this one. ;P

[Chris516]

Because they don't see us as equal. They only think in the context of the physical. Like they think we are tetched(mentally unbalanced). For even loving someone that we may not see again for days, weeks, months, even a year after the first visit. Also the distance. They can't comprehend the distance.

[sunnymess54]

That's my thinking they can't comprehend how you can possibly have such a "relationship". My own mother makes jokes about it saying I have a "friend" who I go to see and we just have sex and how we waste all this money "for just sex" and how she doesn't know why I waste my time because I could easily find someone closer.

A lot of my insecurities not only come from that kind of behavior from people who just don't understand but also from my SO because even though I don't expect him to talk to me All the time, its not realistic, he needs friends and time with them, for work etc...However it drives me crazy when I see him online and he not only doesn't notice my message if I've sent one but sometimes doesn't reply either. Idk why it bugs me so badlt but it does sadly.

We both tell eachother that We are okay on our ends as far as the relationship goes etc but I still can't help but let doubt, mistrust and all those evil feelings sink in

[sunnymess54]

Haha loved that response ❤