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Advice needed about closing the gap - help!

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    Advice needed about closing the gap - help!

    My boyfriend of nine years has been living in LA while I'm at home in NJ. We have made a few plans to close the gap, mainly him coming back home, but it always falls through because he gets promoted at work. Now he's up for a really big promotion, and it looks like we're in for another year at least. I have never thought about moving there because I have a job that I am very passionate about and both our families are here. We want to eventually settle down and raise our own kids here. I'm worried, though, that his roots are growing deeper and deeper in LA, and that a year will become 2, then 3, then 4.... we don't want to break up, so for the first time I need to consider moving. Has anyone here left a job that they love for their relationship? I really need to hear from you guys. Thank you so much!

    #2
    Originally posted by hrmionegrngr View Post
    My boyfriend of nine years has been living in LA while I'm at home in NJ. We have made a few plans to close the gap, mainly him coming back home, but it always falls through because he gets promoted at work. Now he's up for a really big promotion, and it looks like we're in for another year at least. I have never thought about moving there because I have a job that I am very passionate about and both our families are here. We want to eventually settle down and raise our own kids here. I'm worried, though, that his roots are growing deeper and deeper in LA, and that a year will become 2, then 3, then 4.... we don't want to break up, so for the first time I need to consider moving. Has anyone here left a job that they love for their relationship? I really need to hear from you guys. Thank you so much!
    Sadly in an LDR, some one is going to be the one that makes the sacrifice of moving. You need to honestly talk this out as you don't want to end up resenting each other if one of you are not happy to move. The other option is you both move to a new place and start fresh there. If you've both got jobs you're passionate about see if you can transfer or work from home. Explore all your options but I think you need to have an open and honest conversation about how you are both feeling, it's hard but it'll save a lot of hassle down the road.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Redheart14 View Post
      Sadly in an LDR, some one is going to be the one that makes the sacrifice of moving. You need to honestly talk this out as you don't want to end up resenting each other if one of you are not happy to move. The other option is you both move to a new place and start fresh there. If you've both got jobs you're passionate about see if you can transfer or work from home. Explore all your options but I think you need to have an open and honest conversation about how you are both feeling, it's hard but it'll save a lot of hassle down the road.
      I know, I completely agree. Ugh, it feels like being torn down the middle! We've talked and haven't been able to come up with a solid plan, so we're going to talk to a goal-oriented counselor to get some help. I really really appreciate your help.

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