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Need some words of encouragement for a first time LDR

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    #1

    Need some words of encouragement for a first time LDR

    So my girlfriend has left to go travelling for 7 months and we are currently on week 3 since she has left. At current I am doing a masters degree so the pressure of that in conjunction with the LDR is taking it's toll. I plan on flying out to the Philippines in February to see her, but I'm already debating if I can last that long.

    I'm finding it incredibly difficult. When I speak to her on Skype it's great, we have very engaging conversation and it makes me realise how much I truly love her and I know the same applies to her. But as she is so busy moving from place to place with inconsistent wifi, I find myself just bathed in anxiety when I can't keep in contact with her, as any conversation we're having may abruptly stop and I'm left just waiting for areply. I know she is fine and she is busy and I'm so happy that she is doing something that she loves, but at the same time, I feel so isolated.

    I guess I just need some words of encouragement from people who have been in similar situations, advice on coping mechanisms, anything. I love this girl so much and I truly don't want to lose her.
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    #2
    The foundation of an LDR is complete trust. You have to trust your partner is remaining faithful despite your time apart. You say that she's traveling for the next 7 months, so I'm assuming she's coming back? That you two actually live in the same place, or no? Surviving a long distance relationship is not impossible, you just have to keep the communication flowing (when you can) and just trust that she loves you as much as you love her. The distance is hard, but it's only temporary!
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      #3
      https://members.lovingfromadistance....502-New-to-LDR
      This link might help

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        #4
        Welcome to LFAD!

        Depending on how long the two of you have been together, there might not be an established trust yet. For me, trust is established over time. The distance itself allows for me to learn more about the person because there are some opportunities to talk and reflect on what I've learned about my partner. Also, I have time for myself and time to myself to focus on those things I enjoy such as my hobbies, interests, friends, and family. I also encourage my partner to do the same. That doesn't mean that I don't miss my partner, but it does mean that I ensure that my life is full while I am away from my partner. I stay pretty busy. Good self care helps a lot.

        Communication is essential, so I suggest working out a time that the two of you will be available for phone calls and/or texts. It might help to sit down and write letters, too.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Benjyl120 View Post
          So my girlfriend has left to go travelling for 7 months and we are currently on week 3 since she has left. At current I am doing a masters degree so the pressure of that in conjunction with the LDR is taking it's toll. I plan on flying out to the Philippines in February to see her, but I'm already debating if I can last that long.

          I'm finding it incredibly difficult. When I speak to her on Skype it's great, we have very engaging conversation and it makes me realise how much I truly love her and I know the same applies to her. But as she is so busy moving from place to place with inconsistent wifi, I find myself just bathed in anxiety when I can't keep in contact with her, as any conversation we're having may abruptly stop and I'm left just waiting for areply. I know she is fine and she is busy and I'm so happy that she is doing something that she loves, but at the same time, I feel so isolated.

          I guess I just need some words of encouragement from people who have been in similar situations, advice on coping mechanisms, anything. I love this girl so much and I truly don't want to lose her.
          Welcome to the world of LFAD.

          Look LDR relationship ideas by looking at the FAQ list.

          First Visit: September 2016
          Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
          Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

          John 3:16
          For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
          John 4:12
          I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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            #6
            It's normal to feel some anxiety when you first separate... even if you have the perfect relationship. It's being able to understand and communicate that is so very important. Could it be it's a bit of jealousy that she is getting to travel and you are back home maybe? You do seem to trust her, but get concerned when there is no contact.
            As mentioned before, sit down and write her a letter, that way you can say what you feel. Sure, it's no where like a face to face, but you can continue a though.
            We all learn how to adjust, and we all adjust differently. You also should be filling time with your friends and your life as well.

            Does it get better? For some, it really does, and our relationships flourish... for some, it's just tough, but YOU can make it easier for yourself.

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