Forgot our vid chat again?

[NewToLongDistance2016]

I guess I'm ranting again, sorry. When I was w/him, I could feel how much he loved me and cared for me. He even told me he couldn't express how much he wanted me in his life. The communication is lacking. We vid chat once a week for a couple hours. Yesterday I expressed the desire to communicate more, as we were closing the session, he said he would call again today. I was texting him after work and he expressed that he would like to chat w/me once he got home, that text was nearly 6 hours ago and nothing. I can understand if maybe he got occupied and I don't mind him going out w/his friends/family etc, but he could at least let me know he may not make it. He has done this before and it is really making me question how important I am to him. The last time he apologized for doing it (forgetting to call, saying he wouldn't do it again). I don't mind so much initiating the chats, but I definitely don't want to always be reminding him to call, especially if he is the one who suggests it. I have time and time again, if someone loves you, they won't forget to call/text etc. Thoughts? If I stay w/him am I doomed to be disappointed all the time?

[sasad]

I guess I'm ranting again, sorry. When I was w/him, I could feel how much he loved me and cared for me. He even told me he couldn't express how much he wanted me in his life. The communication is lacking. We vid chat once a week for a couple hours. Yesterday I expressed the desire to communicate more, as we were closing the session, he said he would call again today. I was texting him after work and he expressed that he would like to chat w/me once he got home, that text was nearly 6 hours ago and nothing. I can understand if maybe he got occupied and I don't mind him going out w/his friends/family etc, but he could at least let me know he may not make it. He has done this before and it is really making me question how important I am to him. The last time he apologized for doing it (forgetting to call, saying he wouldn't do it again). I don't mind so much initiating the chats, but I definitely don't want to always be reminding him to call, especially if he is the one who suggests it. I have time and time again, if someone loves you, they won't forget to call/text etc. Thoughts? If I stay w/him am I doomed to be disappointed all the time?

To say that is putting a condition on love. some people forget their name when they wake up, so forgetting a call shouldn't ever mean no love.
That being said, if you actually made a plan with a time, then he should be reminded. You have every right to say you waited and your feelings are hurt. And how it's really not acceptable.
Did you all have a firm time? Was it a firm decision or one where it was vague? Did you try to contact him to remind him or did he think you got busy?
My SO makes calander events for almost everything. I used to joke about him penciling me in, but in reality, he never wanted to miss a date.
Talk to him, make sure you are both communicating on the same page. Be exact about times and dates. Come up with an acceptable solution for both of you.

[Littlewhiteflower]

My boyfriend forgets everything. He would forget his head if it wasn't attached to his body.

The first time he told me he wanted to Skype, we told each other "let's do it around 8pm tomorrow." He never came and apologised to tell me he was busy. The next day, it was the same. After 3 days, I've stopped asking him and we did it.

Lately, we were supposed to Skype again. He told it to me 3 weeks ago and he always forgets or is too busy to do it. So, we call 10 minutes instead or text each other when we can.
I've learned not to be hurt anymore by his behaviour. I understand he is super busy. I understand it can be hard to call all the time.
We fought a lot though about it in the past. He told me he would make efforts to call me more. I'm always the one to ask him if he can and I've learned to not be bothered by this. I know he loves me, despite the fact he doesn't initiate the calls.

So, try to discuss of it with him. Tell him how it upsets/bothers you and that you really do need it.

But no matter what, even if he makes really a lot of efforts, sometimes boys just forget and there are aspects of the LD we must try to live with, no matter how hard it is for us.

[Bee'sknees]

Well, to me it seems strange that you would forget something like that, but that's probably because we're pretty much constantly in contact and have set Skype times with my SO and if the plans change we make sure we inform each other. I think that's just polite. However, some people are just that type that forget everything and it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care about you. That being said, he really should make an effort if you've told him that it hurts your feelings.

[Chris516]

I guess I'm ranting again, sorry. When I was w/him, I could feel how much he loved me and cared for me. He even told me he couldn't express how much he wanted me in his life. The communication is lacking. We vid chat once a week for a couple hours. Yesterday I expressed the desire to communicate more, as we were closing the session, he said he would call again today. I was texting him after work and he expressed that he would like to chat w/me once he got home, that text was nearly 6 hours ago and nothing. I can understand if maybe he got occupied and I don't mind him going out w/his friends/family etc, but he could at least let me know he may not make it. He has done this before and it is really making me question how important I am to him. The last time he apologized for doing it (forgetting to call, saying he wouldn't do it again). I don't mind so much initiating the chats, but I definitely don't want to always be reminding him to call, especially if he is the one who suggests it. I have time and time again, if someone loves you, they won't forget to call/text etc. Thoughts? If I stay w/him am I doomed to be disappointed all the time?

He is not being honest with you.

[Fast Forward]

I would not get frustrated just yet. Something could have come up. He might just be the forgetful kind who gets easily distracted. My boyfriend is the same and I get very upset every time - yet I know how much he loves me and that even if he forgets the little practical things, I am on his mind. Wait and see what he says. Do not jump to conclusions, let him say his side of the story. You said you know he loves you. Many guys just don't have the same need for communication as we do. My boyfriend just told me he feels closer to me during our 5 minute phone calls while he is in the car than he does when we are Skyping for an hour.

That being said, LDR are difficult because you both need too adjust in order to make things work. These little things matter much less in a CDL. Maybe have a talk with him, express how this behaviour hurts you and ask that you find a way to deal with it, e.g. a set day and time for Skype. It is harder to forget if it becomes a habit and you can remind him more easily.

[kittyxuchiha11]

My SO and I have a rule about skype/voice chatting now which is we won't make plans that we definitely can't stick to. So we normally try to have a date night where we skype every week-ish and we plan it at the start of the week and say if we can do it or not, if we cant we just say okay that's fine lets do it next week instead. Because of a change in my situation recently we can only do it every 2 weeks but i make sure to communicate when that is to her because she gets very upset when i cancel date nights on her last minute and she definitely has the right to be upset. Because of our time difference it is very hard for me to stay up until she gets home at 2am my time and because i have canceled so many date nights because i've been so tired that i need to sleep she has made it very clear we now plan our date nights and if it isn't definite we don't get our hopes up that it will happen.

Maybe doing something like this with your SO will help. He might be forgetful but i feel there is a lot of stress on being told you need to skype with someone and then when you can't, having to rearrange it for just the next night after that. A lot of people can feel overwhelmed, and I know that if my SO did that to me it would put a lot of stress on me because say the first night i didn't skype i would then feel that guilt carried onto the next few days if i couldn't and it would make me feel bad and totally overwhelmed and would actually make me not look forward to skyping even if it was with my SO because there are bad feelings behind it.

So yeah try saying hey are you free on this day i am and id like for us to skype/talk for a bit, and keep asking in the days leading up to it if things are still okay for that day, and then if even on the day he tells you a reason he cant skype you just say okay that's fine but can we maybe try in a few days when you next have some time.
Good luck :3

[sasad]

He is not being honest with you.

Ummm. Gosh. That's just a horrible response.

[Chris516]

Ummm. Gosh. That's just a horrible response.

It is a criticism of him, not her. But maybe I should be critical of to satisfy you.

[sasad]

It is a criticism of him, not her. But maybe I should be critical of to satisfy you.

Gosh Chris. You could never satisfy me.
Again, you offered her nothing except your normal stories or the just drop him he's an ass answer.

[BritishGirl]

Honestly I don't think him forgetting means he doesn't love you. Me and my boyfriend have often forgot about skypying, we only manage to do it once a week due to the time difference so I can only stay up late at weekends when I don't have work and he skypes after work (he's 6 hours behind). We text every day without fail and sometimes we only skype 2-3 times a month if one of us forgets or for me sometimes I'll accidentally fall asleep!
If it is really important to you, try to reiterate how it makes you feel when he forgets to skype. We had an issue where I was getting annoyed at him only thinking to text me halfway through his day, eventually I told him straight up how I felt and it upset me and it turned out he was only doing that as he didn't want to disturb me at work!
Tell him honestly how it makes you feel and go from there.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Sorry for the late response, he actually did remember, just late lol. He has forgotten in the past, so I guess I expected him to forget again. He was actually kind of freaked out because the last time he forgot, I didn't chew him out, but I let him know that I didn't put up w/someone not coming through. I want to address these issues from the start, so that he knows I don't play around and that I command respect from my partner and from my friends. It also all boils down to me not wanting to be the only one who steers the relationship, I want there to be effort on his end as well.