Need advice on change!

[Puzzled101]

Over the past few days, my long distance partner has been communicating with me less. They haven't been "online" as much, and it has been worrying me as it's such a sudden change. I confronted them about it after a couple of days, telling them that I was worried and their sudden change in behaviour had made me feel anxious, and quite confused. They explained and said that it wasn't my fault, it wasn't purposeful, that they'd been busy recently and don't always check the app. They also promised me that if something was wrong, they'd make sure to tell me.

I am someone who enjoys talking all of the time, but I feel like they're happy enough to talk less than I would want to at times.

I understand, after having been in this relationship for over a year that we do not have to talk constantly about every little thing, every single day. However, I'm struggling with this change, and I don't want to keep bringing it up after I've already been reassured and spoken about it.

I'm honestly confused. Should I wait and see if things improve? How do I accept and be happy with this change? How do I try to feel less upset about less communicstion, and how do I embrace if? If things don't change, should I tell them again or should I just learn to live with it?

I'm really stuck, if you have any advice that would be great!

[80anthea]

It's only been a few days, maybe they are probably just busier than normal (which is perfectly normal for life!) like they have explained. Communication doesn't just have to be about talking to each other, maybe take the time while they're busier to put together some photos or write an old fashioned letter?

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Over the past few days, my long distance partner has been communicating with me less. They haven't been "online" as much, and it has been worrying me as it's such a sudden change. I confronted them about it after a couple of days, telling them that I was worried and their sudden change in behaviour had made me feel anxious, and quite confused. They explained and said that it wasn't my fault, it wasn't purposeful, that they'd been busy recently and don't always check the app. They also promised me that if something was wrong, they'd make sure to tell me.

I am someone who enjoys talking all of the time, but I feel like they're happy enough to talk less than I would want to at times.

I understand, after having been in this relationship for over a year that we do not have to talk constantly about every little thing, every single day. However, I'm struggling with this change, and I don't want to keep bringing it up after I've already been reassured and spoken about it.

I'm honestly confused. Should I wait and see if things improve? How do I accept and be happy with this change? How do I try to feel less upset about less communicstion, and how do I embrace if? If things don't change, should I tell them again or should I just learn to live with it?

I'm really stuck, if you have any advice that would be great!

I can understand your concern. I would like to be the one that says everything is prob fine, but I have a different perspective on this situation. I have learned not to make excuses for my partner because in the end that only hurt me. Sadly when you approach your partner about their change, sometimes they aren't the most truthful about what is going on. I dated a guy briefly and after we went long distance the communication was close to non existent on his end. When I asked him what was going on, he said everything was fine and the situation continued for a short while. I got extremely fed up and he eventually confessed that he wasn't sure about the relationship, he ended up rejecting me and vanishing on me. Its not fair for you to have to accept this behavior because communication in a long distance is important. The more you accept undesired behavior from your partner, the less they will do for you, everything else will drop off as well. See what happens in the next week, if nothing changes, talk to your partner.

[hmrambling]

Welcome to LFAD!

How many partners do you have? You use they/them in your post.

A lot of people start off with a lot of communication, but life happens. Work happens. Friends happen. Hobbies happen. People don't have time to text or call constantly. It's good and healthy to be active in friendships, hobbies, family, work, and education.

I'm unable to check any app all day. I work during the day. I have about an hour commute to work. Can't check it then. I also drive the same commute (an hour) home. Can't check it then. I call friends and family. Won't be checking the app then, either. I volunteer at an organization in my free time. You guessed it, I don't check it constantly there either.

A good morning text is and a phone conversation at night are sufficient for my partner and I. We discussed it. It works for us.

Communicate with your partner and find out the amount of communication each of you finds acceptable.

[Chris516]

Over the past few days, my long distance partner has been communicating with me less. They haven't been "online" as much, and it has been worrying me as it's such a sudden change. I confronted them about it after a couple of days, telling them that I was worried and their sudden change in behaviour had made me feel anxious, and quite confused. They explained and said that it wasn't my fault, it wasn't purposeful, that they'd been busy recently and don't always check the app. They also promised me that if something was wrong, they'd make sure to tell me.

I am someone who enjoys talking all of the time, but I feel like they're happy enough to talk less than I would want to at times.

I understand, after having been in this relationship for over a year that we do not have to talk constantly about every little thing, every single day. However, I'm struggling with this change, and I don't want to keep bringing it up after I've already been reassured and spoken about it.

I'm honestly confused. Should I wait and see if things improve? How do I accept and be happy with this change? How do I try to feel less upset about less communicstion, and how do I embrace if? If things don't change, should I tell them again or should I just learn to live with it?

I'm really stuck, if you have any advice that would be great!

Talkaholic?

[Harlequin]

How many partners do you have? You use they/them in your post.

I believe they're using the singular "they".

[maybesomeday]

Change is hard. I've personally never been the best at adapting to change, even something small. I'm the same in regards to wanting to talk all the time, and I do become frustrated when that's either not possible or the other person isn't quite as concerned about how often we talk. To be honest, it's either they start to talk just as much as you, or you back off a little and talk less just as they do. Either is going to be a change for one of you. Unless you find a happy medium, of course. But that's not always easy either. If you're the one who has to adapt in this situation, it'll become easier with time. The key is to not focus on the fact you aren't talking as much as you used to, but that when you do talk you'll have more to say. I notice when I talk all day with someone, every day, they know everything that's happening in my life as it happens, and that can become repetitive and put a strain on conversations anyway. At least going several hours to a day without talking gives some surprise when you do talk, and you'll have more to talk about. That's just one way to look at it anyway. If it still continues to bother you after a few weeks, just bring it up and talk about it with your partner; maybe you can come to a compromise.