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He has yet to buy tickets, prices climbing?

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    #31
    At this point, just let it go. You've reminded him and now the ball is in his court. As terrible as waiting is, consider that you'll have answers to the questions in your head within a few weeks, at most. You've done your part, now you have to be a little patient and see if he does his.
    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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      #32
      Originally posted by Fast Forward View Post
      Oh, I hear you... Though I still wouldn't say him procrastinating has anything to do with you. My bf told me today that it looks like he will get off for the time we wanted to meet... but he is not sure if he can book tickets yet. 100% him being him. I told him I'll book next week and if I ned up alone in Florida I'll send him pics of all the fun I am having without his sorry buttocks Getting upset is not getting you anywhere.
      Yes getting upset doesn't help me, but I would definitely question how much he cares if he doesn't follow through w/plans. Did he say for sure that he would come? Cause my bf said he would come visit me and if he doesn't, he is going to be going back on his word. It would be totally different if he was unsure, then I could excuse him.

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        #33
        Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
        Idk if its a gut feeling or because I've been let down by a lot of people. The thing that worries me is how much he is stalling on the tickets. He knows how expensive they get, I had to push my meet date back a couple times because the tickets were outrageous. Personally I would think if he was enthusiastic about seeing me, he would have already bought the tickets. He has the time to come visit and a free place to stay, so in my mind why is he waiting? The tickets are not gonna go down anymore, right now they are the cheapest they will be.
        He is not you and you are not him. This can cause a lot of problems in relationships - expecting another person to act how we would. He is a different person, he has a different thought process, he does things his way. Don't compare what he does or his actions against what you would do or your actions - you will never get the results you want.

        As Moon said, the ball is in his court. You just have to decide if he doesn't show up, what you are going to do. If it's a deal breaker, then you have to be prepared to follow through if he doesn't. If it's not, you will have to forgive and let it go if he doesn't show up. But stressing out over something you have no control over is only doing yourself a disservice. Put some faith in him.
        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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          #34
          Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
          Did he say for sure that he would come? Cause my bf said he would come visit me and if he doesn't, he is going to be going back on his word. It would be totally different if he was unsure, then I could excuse him.
          He did. It was his idea originally, since his parents have a house there and we were looking into cheaper alternatives somewhere nice to visit each other. I am fairly sure he will book but I might book earlier just because the tickets are more expensive for me and his mom said she'd give him 200$ worth of air miles... So he has more time to get affordable tickets than I do, rich spoiled brat that he is

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            #35
            Originally posted by R&R View Post
            He is not you and you are not him. This can cause a lot of problems in relationships - expecting another person to act how we would. He is a different person, he has a different thought process, he does things his way. Don't compare what he does or his actions against what you would do or your actions - you will never get the results you want.

            As Moon said, the ball is in his court. You just have to decide if he doesn't show up, what you are going to do. If it's a deal breaker, then you have to be prepared to follow through if he doesn't. If it's not, you will have to forgive and let it go if he doesn't show up. But stressing out over something you have no control over is only doing yourself a disservice. Put some faith in him.
            Thank you for all the responses, waiting for something not in my control is very hard to overcome. I am prepared for the worst, I've walked away from a guy I truly loved and never looked back, if it needs to be done it will be. I really love my Bf and I will have to trust him fully. In the end this will be a blessing in disguise, whichever way it ends up going. I will know how reliable he is and how willing he is to make an effort for me. I'm hoping this is a good sign, we have both talked about his visit a lot and he brings it up on his own. I a holding on to the hope that he wouldn't be talking about it so much if wasn't interested.
            Last edited by NewToLongDistance2016; November 24, 2016, 04:24 AM.

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              #36
              Originally posted by hmrambling View Post
              If you're not playing games, be direct with him. Being direct would be telling him that if he does not come to see you that you no longer want to see him. If it is a deal breaker, then say so. I'm not in the business of making ground rules and deal breakers without letting my partner know. My partner needs to know those things that I feel are worthy of terminating a relationship.
              Just today I got very direct w/him, not about it being a deal breaker, but how I have been feeling. I told him its stressing me out and seems like he doesn't come over, he told me he did, he just needed to get to purchasing the tickets. Beating around the bush gets very tiring and I'm sick of being stressed.

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                #37
                Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
                Just today I got very direct w/him, not about it being a deal breaker, but how I have been feeling. I told him its stressing me out and seems like he doesn't come over, he told me he did, he just needed to get to purchasing the tickets. Beating around the bush gets very tiring and I'm sick of being stressed.
                This is stress you are placing on yourself becauase your SO isn't doing something within what you have set in your mind as an acceptable timeframe. I know it's hard to let it go but that's the only way you are going to relax. My SO is very much like your SO and you saw my earlier story about him being stuck in the airport for 24 hours due to poor planning and missing his flight. They have to face the consequences of their actions/inactions. I figured out that my stressing isn't going to change the outcome, so I had to just let it go.
                To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                  #38
                  Originally posted by R&R View Post
                  This is stress you are placing on yourself becauase your SO isn't doing something within what you have set in your mind as an acceptable timeframe. I know it's hard to let it go but that's the only way you are going to relax. My SO is very much like your SO and you saw my earlier story about him being stuck in the airport for 24 hours due to poor planning and missing his flight. They have to face the consequences of their actions/inactions. I figured out that my stressing isn't going to change the outcome, so I had to just let it go.
                  Yeah I know I shouldn't stress, my family told me to let it go. I guess I'm just anticipating the worst, so hopefully it won't be as painful if he lets me down.

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                    #39
                    Can you give us an update of what's happened with you guys?

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