Doing things Backwards at first and now finding I'm finallty moving forward

[ducharme8]

Okay so I never wanted a long distance relationship. I had gotten out of a Ten year relationship for good August 2015 even though there wasn't much in that relationship for the past three years. My ex had relationship OCD and anxiety along with other mental health issues that made him relapse and basically go into a Psychosis for three years. So I barely saw him because he was paranoid of me and he had different phobias such as "Phone phobia" and even "Emailing Phobia." I remember us sitting on the couch in my living room and he sat far away and left immediately having a panic attack!

Well I started putting feelers out there after we decided our relationship had come to a complete end in August. I started online dating in September but no luck, I was on Match and Eharmony. You see I have a Serious Mental illness and I'm on disability still living at home but I pay my rent and food with the money I receive. I needed somebody understanding of that. Nobody on those mentioned dating sites wanted me because of this. So I cancelled both and in October I went on a disability dating site. Hoping somebody would understand. Within the first hour of being on there I received a wink from somebody who lives in California. My heart sunk, its just too far I told myself. I decided to give him a chance. So we talked and moved to instant message and had amazing long conversations. I disabled my dating site and he disabled his. We moved to Skype and arranged to meet in July, 2016 because he would be coming with his parents for an annual horse back ride up in Springerville.

So We talked and exchanged gifts for each holiday and fell in love, we started off as pen pal type buddies and just one day fell in love. Which sounds weird to fall in love with somebody you have never met. So July 21st came around and we had instant chemistry and a spark when we kissed. His parents and my parents instantly hit it off as if they have been friends for years!

His Mom and Dad are extremely nice! He had an older sister but she died Tragically back in 89 so he is their only son. They are very protective of him since that tragedy. My parents are that way with me.

Well we met up again on his way back from the ride on July 30th and it felt so natural and cozy being around him. It was love at first sight!

So being in love and considering ourselves exclusive seems backwards to me because you are usually in a relationship for an extended period of time before that happens.

I see him in January for a week and then every other month for the same duration until July 7th my 35th Birthday where he will stay a weekend with me. We decided we need the dating aspect of this to go forward before we make a big decision as to whether or not we become a serious boyfriend and girlfriend couple. Meaning we see if we want to be long term until the Marriage word comes up.

He is 38 and I'm 34 so we don't want to just date and have fun with each other we want it to turn into something serious for long term.

We are both madly in love with each other. We fight like any other couple does sometimes and we have a bond.

In January we won't know more until we hang around each other longer.

It just feels we started off backwards, but now things are moving forwards.

Anybody else been in a similar situation? Any advice or input?

Thanks,

Lisa

[Chris516]

Lisa, The only thing I can say is. You don't need pinching, because you are not dreaming. Sort of going with your curiosity of doing it backwards. Almost thirty years my younger brother for some reason wrote 'onwards and sideways'. I didn't understand what he meant. But it definitely is fitting for times, when life has us do whatever Z-A, instead of A-Z; 10-1 instead of 1-10. You may have done it backwards, but may progress onwards and sideways.

[ducharme8]

Thank you that is reassuring. I like what your brother said.

[Chris516]

Thank you that is reassuring. I like what your brother said.