How can I do better?

[saerm14]

Have you ever caught yourself doing/saying/feeling something that you later realized was ridiculous or irrational or just plain dumb? Even in the slightest bit.

I feel like that happens to everyone at some point. Whether it be towards your significant other, family member, friend, roommate, etc.

So my question is --- how do you counteract that?

(I realize that this question is subjective AF and can be taken many different ways, but I'm very interested to hear what y'all have to say) 😊

[Chris516]

Yes, I have.

[sasad]

It's called ..being human...

[hmrambling]

Yesterday I was helping a friend bring some boxes to the post office. I tossed one box into a smaller box. The box I tossed hit my friend's head and now she has a black eye. That was dumb that I did that. I apologized. I told her that I won't throw anymore boxes in her direction.

Make amends.

Move on.

[ethelynn]

It happens quite a bit. The best thing I've found to counteract it, is just to sincerely apologize if I've hurt someone or try to figure out why i got so irrational and try my best to stop myself from getting caught in that cycle again. For myself, I just keep saying that it is human, everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect and distract myself when i find myself later mentally beating myself up for it over and over again.

[leilad]

Sure, that's how we learn. Just fez up, "oh, that was dumb, I'm sorry." that doesn't mean you are dumb, just what you said. The problem is when we do not realize and continually keep the same behaviors. read some books on communication skills. I'm always working on mine.

[Fast Forward]

I'm a very impulsive type A personality - I say and do dumb stuff all the time. I still wonder when I'll learn. But... I would say it gets better in time. It helps me when people actually point my mistakes out, so I am forced to confront them. It is really important though that they also forgive me for having been stupid.

Of course it depends on how badly you f*cked up, but if you are sincere and willing to do better, those who matter in your life will forgive you. I try to be better every single day, and I find I have been better in the last few months, thanks to great support I have been getting. Baby steps.

[leilad]

We can't make people forgive us, we have to move on from that thought, we forgive and love ourselves. take a breath and wait before answering. I answer too fast with e mails etc If i wait a day the best answer comes to me. Guess that is where the saying " sleep on it comes from." Learn ways to not hurt people so if you do respond quickly, don't start a sentene with the word " you" they get defensive. There is a format " when you do blah blah I feel, add the feeling. I prefer you would blah blah.. When you don't answer me I feel frustrated and feel ignored. I woud feel better even if you were tired and said, we can talk about this tomorrow. ( an example )