Anxiety

[sunnymess54]

Everytime before there's a visit I am excited until about a week to a few days and the day of travel. I am scared, anxious, my heart beat so fast it hurts, I get withdrawn and in an almost sad state.

Idk why I feel like this but I do everytime but as soon as I see him we are fine. Idk if its because we go have to go long between visits and Im afraid he has forgotten what i look like and wont like me (talking body wise, we send "selfies" all the time)

I feel like at over a year in I should be okay. But here i am 3 days from him being here and I am having those same feelings. Last night we played a game together and pretty much the whole time I couldn't talk I just know what to say.

[differentcountries]

This is very normal. SO is still like this after 3 years of dating long distance. We have even made a rule about it - we simply dont talk much (apart from practical stuff) the last couple of days before a visit. Our only exception was my last visit, then SO was exited every day before I came.

[Sparkling72]

What I do... because I know how I am... is I tell him that I'm going to be very busy the next few days getting ready for our visit and that all I'll be able to do is text him during the day and call to say good night. That way, I can briefly tell him about my day, listen to his day, talk about our plans and then say good night. It really does relieve a lot of my anxiety to only talk before bed sometimes. Plus, I have kids, so they keep me occupied after work as well.

[leilad]

I am not exactly answering you but for me I seem to go thru many emotions thru the times away and anticipating seeing him., he is here for 4 days, maybe not a full 4, he might leave early the last day. I get excited to see him, but get a little nervous as I kind of forget what he looks like ( even tho I have a million pictures) and forget what he feels like etc. Like getting to know him from the beginning. They say "absense makes the heart grow fonder, I say absence makes the heart beat faster." Of course it's not like having to keep a spark when you live together but it has other challenges. Since we have only know each other for 4 months, I have to have no expectations. Writing for 4 months before meeting him counts a little. He has a very solid apt. 1 1/2 hours away from me. I live 20" from the ocean and am not moving. we both like to live alone, too bad our towns are not closer. He is 69 but has a son in college near where he lives. That's significant. I want to get everything good out of this as we are older. When we are together it is heaven. he leaves I am a little sad but OK, ready for a break cause we spend all our time together. And we are as sexual as any young couple. Then I start to miss him, feel like he is more like a friend, cut back on the romantic things I say and then we have plans to see each other and it is a count down EVEN tho I have a good life and am very busy loving all I do. We can't read the future. I sometimes think if he saw me more he'd want to be with me more and more and it is too much for him now to leave his area. He gets conflicted. I have my little ups and downs. Our e mails and texts are incredible, meaningful, interesting and romantic. And humorous!!!! We make each other laugh a lot. I wish he were closer. Now I am on a count don of 5 days. One day at a time.