How can I encourage him to start looking for a career?

[sasad]

Her SO has a job, just not a steady job.

While both parties need to support themselves with every day bills, there are many projects that are hard to make happen if one party does not have a steady job: raise kids, buy a house, save up to travel the world etc. The great upside to seasonal or short term jobs is the flexibility - if you have some place to go where the expenses are low, or you saved up, you can afford to not be employed all the time and you get real breakes. But there comes a time where that is not so cool - when all your friends and family are getting steady jobs, unless you have a special plan, that is not such a nice place to be. Many who have seasonal jobs basically live on their parents some of the time (or they have back up jobs).

To the OP: What would be helpful, would be to sit down and talk a little bit on how the both of you imagine your future will be like. It is not sure your SO knows everything about how he wants it, but to at least get a general overview, and why he himself talkes about getting another type of job. I know for us, my SO is not a great planner, but last year he was kind of looking to his friends' lives, going: I want to be where they are (some of his friends are married with kids and in non-seasonal jobs). We have discussed buying property and that takes money. Really, most things get easier with money. But you can't make them doing something you hate.

In the US, if you are an adult, you won't have health insurance, be able to get a loan for a car or an apartment with a without a steady income....so not sure what the breaks are.. flexibility when unemployment is high is really not an advantage at all.

[Rezie]

I've talked about a similar thing with my best friend. Her boyfriend is in construction but doesn't want to do a permanent or long term contract with anyone unless he knows it is for him and he enjoys it. Now that closing he distance with my boyfriend is in talkes we face a similar problem. He has a vocational education, work experience and can get jobs just like that. He wants to find a perfect job. Unless the job description is exactly what he wants and he knows for sure that he can do it with his eyes closed then he won't apply. Me and my friend talked about it and our values and how we have been raised is basically that you go to work, any job. While you work you look for something better. Being unemployed by choise is not an option while waiting for something fun to show up. It's not better and it doenst make us better people, it's just how us have been raised and our values are set.

Someone wrote about how it is unfair to expect someone to support you. I didnt understand the OP post big about that. I do think it is a consideration in a relationship. Can my partner pay their half of the rent? Can I affort to have kids with only my salary? I personally think that it's an important topic.

I can understand that the laziness is annoying. I just think that he is wired differently. I don't have a f-ing clue what I want to do when I grow up. While figuring that out I go to work and read books about possible subjects that interest me so I can figure out my thing. For some it means doing it non actively. You just have to assess how long you can survive with him doing that and if this means your values are too different

[sasad]

My ex lost his job.... he like working from home and wanted me to wait till he found the perfect job.. I did that crap for a year. There is no perfect job. Bosses change, people change and grow.,.
To me, it was bs that I supported 3 kiddos and him. That was the start of the downfall. It's about being adult and accepting responsibility for YOURSELF.

[differentcountries]

In the US, if you are an adult, you won't have health insurance, be able to get a loan for a car or an apartment with a without a steady income....so not sure what the breaks are.. flexibility when unemployment is high is really not an advantage at all.

If you wish to travel in the off-season and live close to your job, your dont need or care for loans for cars and appartment. If you are young, you dont care for health insurance. I am not advocating seasonal jobs, just stating the obvious that sometimes people prefer to not have a steady job. The same is true for Turkey, where my boyfriend lives and until recently had a seasonal job (and no car and no appartment). He used to be able to travel and see his family for months at at time if he wanted to, and live there rent free...which is cool until all your siblings start to bring in money to the family and not just tap out from it. He has recently started to have some minor health issues and have become extra aware of the benefits of getting a year round health insurance through his job. He is also extra aware of the need to get rid of his loans to start preparing for the future, in which he is a responsible adult that has something to offer for me, himself and his birth family. I assume that is a process the OPs SO may go through as well.