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    #1

    Feeling about long distance relationship

    Hey I'm 20 and from Germany, I actually have a boyfriend from China (since about 4 months). We have seen each other four times before, but he's thinking about stayinh in China, and I don't actually want to move to China (well I've a big family and a lot of friends..I never mind to leave my Country) but I really love him
    So..I can't "force" him to move to Germany, and I neither can "forbid" him to stay in china
    It's so difficult because I don't wanna lose him.
    Of course we talked about it but I don't have a choice because he works in china, and I'll finish studying next year
    Anyone else in my situation? Do you have ANY tips I might should do? I don't want to break up
    Please let me know how you think about it..or what you'd do
    Tags: #ldr #longdistance
    #2
    I know there are a few couples here who do a few years here and a few years there. If he has a good job in China, I can totally see why he doesn't want to leave and that could be something you guys could do if there is a way he could work from here in the same company.

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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      #3
      Well, somebody has to move eventually. You're only 4 months in though, so your relationship is really new and you're quite young, so just let it ride for a while and see how it goes. At 4 months, you don't need to worry about who's moving yet, let your relationship mature first, finish your studies, and then you'll have a much better idea.
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

      Comment

        #4
        You have seen each other four times during a four month relationship Germany to China? At least he makes good money on his job in China

        What you should do? Finish your studies, try to get a job. It will be helpful no matter where you want to live. If you want him to move to Germany, you have to support him, and prove that you have a solid job, which means you cant close the distance to Germany for another 2 years at least, even if you wanted to. No matter what you do, you will be in long distance for a while because of the rules.

        International long distance is tricky sometimes... If you love him, keep him. You have plenty of time to figure out what to do.
        Last edited by differentcountries; December 17, 2016, 04:37 AM.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          You've only been together for 4 months and eventhough it's good to think about the future you can still keep going on like this and visit your feelings within a year and see hoe you feel and then make a decision. Also not all the relationships have to lead to a lifetime together, as long as you both feel good about the situation keep doing what you are doing.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Anna2745 View Post
            Hey I'm 20 and from Germany, I actually have a boyfriend from China (since about 4 months). We have seen each other four times before, but he's thinking about stayinh in China, and I don't actually want to move to China (well I've a big family and a lot of friends..I never mind to leave my Country) but I really love him
            So..I can't "force" him to move to Germany, and I neither can "forbid" him to stay in china
            It's so difficult because I don't wanna lose him.
            Of course we talked about it but I don't have a choice because he works in china, and I'll finish studying next year
            Anyone else in my situation? Do you have ANY tips I might should do? I don't want to break up
            Please let me know how you think about it..or what you'd do
            Are, both you and he, teenagers?

            First Visit: September 2016
            Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
            Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

            John 3:16
            For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
            John 4:12
            I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Chris516 View Post
              Are, both you and he, teenagers?

              She is 20

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by sasad View Post
                She is 20
                She says 20 but her age on the side says 18. Either way, they have plenty of time before making any sort of decisions. They've only been together 4 months and are still in the "getting to know each other" stage.
                To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by R&R View Post
                  She says 20 but her age on the side says 18. Either way, they have plenty of time before making any sort of decisions. They've only been together 4 months and are still in the "getting to know each other" stage.
                  Thank you for mentioning that. I had seen 18, on the OP's profile. But I was also thinking about him being the one to move. Unless he is some sort of tech-wiz. Where either, his job wouldn't let him move, or he wouldn't be able to find the same work where she lives in Germany. Unless he were willing to commute.

                  First Visit: September 2016
                  Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
                  Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

                  John 3:16
                  For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
                  John 4:12
                  I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Hi Anna,

                    I love to read your post and that's the reason why I drop my advise to you hoping that this could give you encouragement and insight. I used also having LDR before but not same as you coz you is country to country. However, long distance relationship is the same in terms of feelings and frustrations. We could feel missing out, longing for special date in a day with special attachment and laughters and whatever. Howbeit, all of these is matter of illusion if you were in the state of LDR. This is my advise and my opinion, but remember at the end your decision is in you, right? In your case, you know what are his responses based on your conversation, ask him be truthful to you and you too. No need to give up if you are in the better relationship. Having clarity to both of you ignites your love to each other. Hoping that this could give you a little bit insight. God bless you Anna. I am praying for your better relationship. Have a great day ahead!

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