I love my LDR girlfriend but im afraid our relationship is crumbling and collapsing

[theberserker]

I really need a huge advice help, my girlfriend who i love so very much that i would do anything just for her to be happy i mean anything. the thing is i've been so depressed about our relationship i've been so anxious, sad, jealous, overthinking things, emotional, sensitive all of those crazy feelings and it pains me so much that i'm questioning if i should still hold on, we've been together for 4 months we are in a long distance relationship the first 2 months of our relationship was heaven it was everything i could have asked for she cared she told me how much she love me she told me she wanted to marry me a lot of time she told me she just want me to marry her and not even ask her because she her answer is a big fat yes and i would love to marry her and i've already plan of proposing with in the next 2 years when i visit her, with those months we were so in love with each other, morning to night we were always talking barely on skype like 7 times we talked on video chat but she always sends me voice mails and sends me picture of what shes doing she shared her days and i did too we got a lot of similarities we both like a lot of stuff , she wanted to get married on the beach and i do too, she loves movies and i'm very passionate of film making, she loves video game i love gaming it where i met her, one time shes starting to not message me much and i noticed and i told her whats going on she told me that shes sorry and she will give me more time and she did and we were so in love, she have a job and two kids which is very hectic job because shes the only one who's talking care of the kids, then it came to her birthday i brought her gifts and her kids gift because i love her kids as well it seems like she liked it but i'm not so sure but i know shes happy cos her kids were so happy i'm not so sure if she was happy of my gift to her and then things happen shes very depressed about her life because she have a very bad boss and a very bad people around her its just everything changed after that less and less communication i ask her whats wrong i try to cheer her up i try my best i try to give her space i tried to think that it will change back that she will be happy soon but it just got so fucking worst its just crumbling and the fact that i'm not fond of changes because i love her very much i don't know if i'm selfish but i know i am selfish for wanting more of her when shes already dealing with her hard life at the moment that was he 3rd month and the 4th month it kinda got better she have time shes not working anymore she doesn't have to i thought she will give me more time the thing is i always see her online and thought she would message me but she don't i get the SEEN zone with the 3rd to 4th month it was like 1 hour to 12 hours to 1 day before she reply to my message i see her online on her steam playing video game and it just makes me so sad so mad that why cant she just give time to tell me shes busy i could have accept the fact if she tell me directly this 4th month is the worst i asked her if this is the kind of relationship she wants that we barely even communicate that we are just like acquaintances now and she told me she have been sick for the past few days and told me its a long distance relationship she cant do anything much with it, those lines just crushed me and destroyed me because looking back before she did something to change it to make me happy now she doesn't even try, I'm so confused, so depressed i feel so taken for granted i'm thinking is it because i love her so much is it because i gave her so much love that i became safe to her, she told me before i was clingy i think clingy is the wrong word if you love someone you will no matter what do anything for them to be happy, i'm always available for her and i made her know that and i guess i was too much available so i gave her space but giving her space didn't do nothing she didn't miss me she didn't tell me she love me its been 1 month since i've heard those 3 beautiful words from her , just last day she asked me why am i depressed with our relationship i don't really want to answer her because i don't want to appear weak for her to take advance of it i already lowered my self enough i only have my pride even my pride is getting crushed. tho the thing that makes me still hold on and gives me hope is that i love her and ive always imagine my future being her to be my wife i know shes the one and she knew i was the one i just don't know if she still think the same way what can i do?

[Chris516]

You have done everything you could. In some ways, you have bent over backwards for her. She is the one that isn't communicating.

[theberserker]

You have done everything you could. In some ways, you have bent over backwards for her. She is the one that isn't communicating.

I did i would do anything for her just to see her smile but what about me i start questioning what about my happiness my needs, i'm a very romantic guy, sensitive and would know if somethings wrong so i will right away try make things better but she doesn't do that with me well not anymore i try to understand her and her situation but on the other part of my mind, says "what about me?" it's painful to see it change this much because i love her a lot and i think i expected too much from her, but i still don't know what to do.

[R&R]

I'm guessing this is probably your first real relationship. When dating someone, it's not uncommon to spend a ton of time together at the beginning. Then, over it's natural course, you realize "Oh, I do have a life outside this (kids, family, work, friends) that I have to get back to" and time together lessens. People also need to have their own time away from their partner to do their own thing.

A relationship and your partner should enhance your life, not become your life. When you are only existing for that next text message or next phone call.....or you are watching what they are doing online instead of going and doing your own thing - well that is clingy. That's not love -that's insecurity and the inability to have your own life. I highly suggest you step back a bit and look at what you are doing in your life for YOU. Are you going out with friends? Are you doing activiites you did before you met her? If you have let that all slip to the wayside, I suggest you start getting back to those things.

[sasad]

I agree with R & R... you probably need to step back a bit. She has 2 kids, and I assume they are a bit younger? They take a lot of time and energy... I am on steam as well, and just because I am logged in, doesn't mean I am playing.
Give her space. You are sounding like you are smothering here. When was the last time you met up? when are you planning on meeting again>

[Chris516]

I did i would do anything for her just to see her smile but what about me i start questioning what about my happiness my needs, i'm a very romantic guy, sensitive and would know if somethings wrong so i will right away try make things better but she doesn't do that with me well not anymore i try to understand her and her situation but on the other part of my mind, says "what about me?" it's painful to see it change this much because i love her a lot and i think i expected too much from her, but i still don't know what to do.

I re-read your OP. I couldn't find anything in it about, how frequently you communicate?