Lost my LD girlfriend due to neediness/clinginess, what do I do?

[pectoralismajoris]

She left me because I was being too clingy/needy. She said that she needed space and even when I gave it, she said I was far too needy/clingy and being overbearing, and thus, broke it off with me.

I love her a lot and want to make things work so I told her how I feel and how I'll take the next flight to visit her (which backfired). She didn't reply to me when I asked for a day to meet.

So instead today, I woke up and told myself I'll change myself. I told her that I realized she's right, I was being needy/clingy and she pretty much knocked sense into me. I also told her that we wouldn't workout because of our differences, which offended her because she said that I don't know her at all. I told her I know her well and that the fact I know her so much attracts me even more to her.

She brushed it off with a whatever and so I didn't reply back.

Should I reply back or should I go no contact? Anything else to say/do?

How can I rebuild attraction after losing it to clinginess/neediness?

[Rezie]

Are you sure it is worth it? I mean that what if the thing she takes as needy is just your way of caring and a personality trait that would be better suited when you were with someone different. It's a trait that can´'t be fixed just like that nor you would need to change your personality. There is needy and the're is *needy*.

If you are certain that you want to get totget and that you are compatible and she is wrong.
I would give her space for a few days and send her a christmas greeting saying "I've thought about what you said and I feel ike you are right. I was too needy and now that I recognize this I want to work on it. I hope that we could give it another go and I will respect your decision. Have a merry Christman and I hope to hear from you". Then let her be the one to contact you.

[R&R]

By continuing the contact after she has broken up with you only goes to prove her point of being clingy and needy. Wanting to fly to see her after she ended it shows that as well. Every time you contact her, you are showing her you can't respect the relationship is over and honestly, from her responses, is not making her happy at all.

Yes, let it go. The relationship is over. If she wants to contact you at a later point in time, then she can. However, I would not sit around and wait for her. You have a life, so go live it! If you feel you need to work on yourself, then do so for you and not another person. In time, you will meet someone you are more compatible with.

[sasad]

She left me because I was being too clingy/needy. She said that she needed space and even when I gave it, she said I was far too needy/clingy and being overbearing, and thus, broke it off with me.

I love her a lot and want to make things work so I told her how I feel and how I'll take the next flight to visit her (which backfired). She didn't reply to me when I asked for a day to meet.

So instead today, I woke up and told myself I'll change myself. I told her that I realized she's right, I was being needy/clingy and she pretty much knocked sense into me. I also told her that we wouldn't workout because of our differences, which offended her because she said that I don't know her at all. I told her I know her well and that the fact I know her so much attracts me even more to her.

She brushed it off with a whatever and so I didn't reply back.

Should I reply back or should I go no contact? Anything else to say/do?

How can I rebuild attraction after losing it to clinginess/neediness?

You told her you were not going to make it as well. You have also not stopped and continued some contact after the breakup.

Learn from this, and let her go. You will find someone

[Chris516]

She left me because I was being too clingy/needy. She said that she needed space and even when I gave it, she said I was far too needy/clingy and being overbearing, and thus, broke it off with me.

I love her a lot and want to make things work so I told her how I feel and how I'll take the next flight to visit her (which backfired). She didn't reply to me when I asked for a day to meet.

So instead today, I woke up and told myself I'll change myself. I told her that I realized she's right, I was being needy/clingy and she pretty much knocked sense into me. I also told her that we wouldn't workout because of our differences, which offended her because she said that I don't know her at all. I told her I know her well and that the fact I know her so much attracts me even more to her.

She brushed it off with a whatever and so I didn't reply back.

Should I reply back or should I go no contact? Anything else to say/do?

How can I rebuild attraction after losing it to clinginess/neediness?

Maybe you were being needy/clingy. But that doesn't mean she didn't do anything wrong. She may have knocked some sense into you. Some sense needs to be shown to her. About her own behavior. Specifically her saying you don't know her at all. When you know her very well. An online friend that I have known since 2003. Said that to me. Right after she n' her fiance broke up in 2014. I told her about all the stuff she has been through, before and since 2003. After she said that, we didn't talk for a year. When she did contact me again. She admitted that I did know a lot about her.

Don't reply to her.

[C.C.]

Maybe you were being needy/clingy. But that doesn't mean she didn't do anything wrong. She may have knocked some sense into you. Some sense needs to be shown to her. About her own behavior. Specifically her saying you don't know her at all. When you know her very well. An online friend that I have known since 2003. Said that to me. Right after she n' her fiance broke up in 2014. I told her about all the stuff she has been through, before and since 2003. After she said that, we didn't talk for a year. When she did contact me again. She admitted that I did know a lot about her.

Don't reply to her.

Do you realise that "you don't know me" is usually an emotional response when someone is either hurt (by something you did) and feeling misunderstood or is under external emotional stress.
It annoys me as well when someone says it, it feels like them disregarding all your efforts and stuff. And sometimes I feel like it's a bitter response too.
But stopping to talk for a year? Someone being in wrong for saying it? Come on.

[pectoralismajoris]

What do you guys recommend I do?

[pectoralismajoris]

Please help I really want her back I'm crying so much

[Rezie]

I would just accept that it is over and let it be like that.

If sending message is a MUST then I would send one more after not being in contact. No begging and not making things worse.

I would give her space for a few days "I've thought about what you said and I feel ike you are right. I was too needy and now that I recognize this I want to work on it. I hope that we could give it another go and I will respect your decision. Have a merry Christmas/new year". After this I would no longer be in contact. They will respond or not respond. It's upto her. Then you move on.

[pectoralismajoris]

I need her back... Guys are recommending do no contact...

[differentcountries]

Everyone is needy, in a sense. But you are showing it in a way that makes her uncomfortable. You also hurt her feelings by saying you are incompatible and that. So, you are blunt AND needy, which can maybe work with some other person, I dont know. But you have no chance with her. You are doing exactly as predicted, but wanting to move close when she wants to move away.

At times I have been, not clingy, but perhaps a bit intense with my boyfriend. He let me know about this. I backed off. Also, at time we were fighting I really backed off. I told him that I really wanted to be with him, but only if he was certain that he wanted to stay with me. And then I backed off. I let him initiate the texting, the Skype, even the visits. It showed him that I have different sides to me, that are able to respect and take into consideration different sides of him as well. As for me, I know that he is a very independant person who can be sort of brushing off problems to make things cozy. But when he realizes I am in pain, he sets those things aside and are close to me. He is showing me that he has different sides to him, and that he can act differently according to the situation at hand.

While I am sure you are very sweet, most of us need to know that a person can adapt and change for us, and be well rounded. If your first instinct every time is to move close, you either have to find someone who loves that, or work on yourself to have different ways of reacting.

Dont send her any more texts. When all she wants is space, you cant reach her by stretching. You have to let her go and risk that she does not come back.

[Honour]

I need her back... Guys are recommending do no contact...

That's because it's what you have to do, whether you like it or not. Sorry, but you won't get any sugar-coated responses. Let it go.

[sasad]

You don't need her back, you want her back. Even aFter you said what you did when she broke up with you.
Again, SHE.BROKE.UP.WITH.YOU. You said you woke up and realized how clingy & needy you are, and even told her you all wouldn't work out.

Let it go. Let her go or you WILL end up being that creepy stalking ex boyfriend.

[C.C.]

It's sad and awful and it will hurt.
However, in life it is necessary to know when to step back. You love her, I understand that, and I'll use a cheesy quote
"Sometimes you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart, but not in your life."
but it does fit your situation.

[pectoralismajoris]

I know you guys are saying let it go, but can anyone tell me if they think she'll come back? I'm trying to move on, even posting stuff on snapchat to pretend i've moved on, but do you think she'll eventually come back...