Hi all,
This will be a bit long, please bear with me.
I met this guy while gaming online a few months ago. We were always friendly, talked a bit sometimes, but for a long time nothing happened. Then around october we started to talk a lot, every day. We even exchanged numbers and even though he first refused, he sent me a picture of himself finally. We live in the same country, but have over 200 miles distance between us (which in my opinion is nothing). We messaged every day, and even started calling each other 2-3 times a week. It happened that even when he was out with friends he was just txting me all the time. I was getting out of a relationship this time, but not because of him. The details are not important about that relationship. I told him about my issues with my now ex, and he gave me advice, listened to me, but then started to act weird and said as a reaction on something I said, that we will probably never meet in real life. I was very sad, even started crying. Turned out he was crying too, and he thought I was using him as a distraction only. I explained to him this is not the case, and though it was hard for him, he tried to believe me. I mean I can understand where he was coming from, but I cannot give more than my word. We kept talking every day, still calling whever we can. He is a very shy person, I only managed to get 3 pictures from him so far. He also says that meeting me and being with me is the one thing he wants most in this world. And that it will happen, he is just not sure when. He is scared that I would not like him in real life, he is even shy to skype/facetime with me, or send me more pictures. He says 'I look okay on those pictures, but I think I look worse in real life, what if you won't like me'. He does not know when we will meet. Though I think we have come a long way, since fist he did not even want to show me a picture, and now I have 3, first he said we will never meet and now he says 'we will, soon, dunno when though'. He says he wants us to have full trust before we do. And trust builds, but we are going to the right direction. At the end of November he offered me a way out and to be friends only if I cannot handle this, but I told him I am not taking it, because I want him, so ever since we consider ourselves a couple. Last week I lost it a bit, because I felt I put much more effort in it (I send pictures of myself, and I am not afraid to meet him) so he got very sad for a day and even considered to let me go again, if he only makes me sad and not happy. We had a long conversation over the phone, I could hear he was crying. I asked questions and he confirmed that he never wanted anyone this much in his life, and never wanted to be with someone this much. He is very shy and insecure, and scared of being left behind. Does not have the easiest background story. He is not rich either, and he never ever asked money from me.
Basically my issue is, that here is this guy, not even too far from me, scared to meet me.. He spends almost every minute talking to me, he sends me messages 1 minute before I wake up, we call almost every day, and we txt all the time. I am not questioning that he has anyone else, talking to me this much is already the same effort as having a relationship in real life. I just don't know what else to do. Wait? For how long? Not seeing the light at the end of the tunel is really hard. On the other hand, the relationship is pretty new, many things can change and I am not in a hurry, just not knowing makes me feel helpless. Is there anyone with a similar experience? Do you have any advise how to be more patient? Do you have any advise on how to make an insecure guy, who is somewhat scared of me (hurting him) want to meet me?
This will be a bit long, please bear with me.
I met this guy while gaming online a few months ago. We were always friendly, talked a bit sometimes, but for a long time nothing happened. Then around october we started to talk a lot, every day. We even exchanged numbers and even though he first refused, he sent me a picture of himself finally. We live in the same country, but have over 200 miles distance between us (which in my opinion is nothing). We messaged every day, and even started calling each other 2-3 times a week. It happened that even when he was out with friends he was just txting me all the time. I was getting out of a relationship this time, but not because of him. The details are not important about that relationship. I told him about my issues with my now ex, and he gave me advice, listened to me, but then started to act weird and said as a reaction on something I said, that we will probably never meet in real life. I was very sad, even started crying. Turned out he was crying too, and he thought I was using him as a distraction only. I explained to him this is not the case, and though it was hard for him, he tried to believe me. I mean I can understand where he was coming from, but I cannot give more than my word. We kept talking every day, still calling whever we can. He is a very shy person, I only managed to get 3 pictures from him so far. He also says that meeting me and being with me is the one thing he wants most in this world. And that it will happen, he is just not sure when. He is scared that I would not like him in real life, he is even shy to skype/facetime with me, or send me more pictures. He says 'I look okay on those pictures, but I think I look worse in real life, what if you won't like me'. He does not know when we will meet. Though I think we have come a long way, since fist he did not even want to show me a picture, and now I have 3, first he said we will never meet and now he says 'we will, soon, dunno when though'. He says he wants us to have full trust before we do. And trust builds, but we are going to the right direction. At the end of November he offered me a way out and to be friends only if I cannot handle this, but I told him I am not taking it, because I want him, so ever since we consider ourselves a couple. Last week I lost it a bit, because I felt I put much more effort in it (I send pictures of myself, and I am not afraid to meet him) so he got very sad for a day and even considered to let me go again, if he only makes me sad and not happy. We had a long conversation over the phone, I could hear he was crying. I asked questions and he confirmed that he never wanted anyone this much in his life, and never wanted to be with someone this much. He is very shy and insecure, and scared of being left behind. Does not have the easiest background story. He is not rich either, and he never ever asked money from me.
Basically my issue is, that here is this guy, not even too far from me, scared to meet me.. He spends almost every minute talking to me, he sends me messages 1 minute before I wake up, we call almost every day, and we txt all the time. I am not questioning that he has anyone else, talking to me this much is already the same effort as having a relationship in real life. I just don't know what else to do. Wait? For how long? Not seeing the light at the end of the tunel is really hard. On the other hand, the relationship is pretty new, many things can change and I am not in a hurry, just not knowing makes me feel helpless. Is there anyone with a similar experience? Do you have any advise how to be more patient? Do you have any advise on how to make an insecure guy, who is somewhat scared of me (hurting him) want to meet me?
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