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    #1

    CD couples

    My SO and I have been together 16 months, we know we are going to close the distance soon (within 7 months) and well idk by now in a "normal relationship" people are getting engaged, moving in together and are sure where they are going with that person etc....its daunting being in a long distance relationship because everything is a slower process and I feel idk I guess left out of all the "fun stuff" that comes with being a CD couple...does anyobe else feel that way?

    My friend got with her boyfriend two days after I got with mine and last night they got engaged and as happy as I was for them I was a little sad it wasn't me ...out celebrating with friends and family etc..instead I was home in bed till 4am playing video games online with my boyfriend (not complaining) I just miss him soo much and am envious of CD couples
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    #2
    Originally posted by sunnymess54 View Post
    My SO and I have been together 16 months, we know we are going to close the distance soon (within 7 months) and well idk by now in a "normal relationship" people are getting engaged, moving in together and are sure where they are going with that person etc....its daunting being in a long distance relationship because everything is a slower process and I feel idk I guess left out of all the "fun stuff" that comes with being a CD couple...does anyobe else feel that way?

    My friend got with her boyfriend two days after I got with mine and last night they got engaged and as happy as I was for them I was a little sad it wasn't me ...out celebrating with friends and family etc..instead I was home in bed till 4am playing video games online with my boyfriend (not complaining) I just miss him soo much and am envious of CD couples
    CD and LDR each have their own set of perks. Yes, CD you get to see each other more often and sometimes the relationship will move faster because you are in the same location. There isn't the issue of who has to move, find a new job, leave their family and friends behind, etc.

    LDRs require a lot of extra work. Notice I said "extra", because even CD require work. However, I appreciate my LDR because when I get to see my SO, I'm so much more thankful. It's a special event when we actually get time together. We've spent much more time getting to know each other because we aren't spending 90% of our time together in the physical aspect. We have to talk each other. I greatly value my time. It's allowed me to go back to school and get through it much more quickly than if my SO was here. I completed my Associates in under 7 months and I'll have my Bachelors in about 12 months or so. I couldn't do that if my SO was around all the time. For me, I am going to struggle much more when we close the distance and he is around all the time.

    I find it's better to look at the positives instead of the negatives. If you dwell on what you don't have, you won't be thankful for what you do have. It's good that you have a plan for when you will be closing the distance. That gives you something to look forward to and there is a lot of things to prepare before that happens. Go out with friends and spend time with family. You will have less time for that later.

    As far as comparing your relationship to others, don't do that in CD or LDR. Every relationship is 100% different. My SO and I have been together a little over 3 years and we were married 11/9/16, even though we still live apart. I have friends who have been CD the whole time and have been a couple longer and there isn't even the hint of marriage yet. If someone is ready for marriage and wants to take the step of proposing, they will do it not matter the circumstances.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      I totally get what your saying....its different when someone else says what you already know..

      When we get together it's like no time has passed, we love our visits because we know we have limited time, we lose a lot sleep just so we dont miss anything but its worth it.

      Thank you 😁

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        #4
        Originally posted by sunnymess54 View Post
        My SO and I have been together 16 months, we know we are going to close the distance soon (within 7 months) and well idk by now in a "normal relationship" people are getting engaged, moving in together and are sure where they are going with that person etc....its daunting being in a long distance relationship because everything is a slower process and I feel idk I guess left out of all the "fun stuff" that comes with being a CD couple...does anyobe else feel that way?

        My friend got with her boyfriend two days after I got with mine and last night they got engaged and as happy as I was for them I was a little sad it wasn't me ...out celebrating with friends and family etc..instead I was home in bed till 4am playing video games online with my boyfriend (not complaining) I just miss him soo much and am envious of CD couples
        Being CD at the beginning, doesn't guarantee 'fun stuff'. Equally, Being in an LDR doesn't guarantee a lack of 'fun stuff'.

        First Visit: September 2016
        Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
        Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

        John 3:16
        For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
        John 4:12
        I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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          #5
          I totally get what you meant..fun stuff is being able to snuggle, just go to dinner, catch a movie and share popcorn...so yes you don't have that, but we get more from our so's in other ways.. we talk and get to know each other more in depth.

          You will have that fun when you go cd...or you both need to make the time and effort to keep yourselves fun. We all do.

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            #6


            Stop comparing your relationship to the relationships of other people. That is a surefire way to take the joy out of your own relationship. It's also not fair to say what other 'normal' couples are doing. I was once in a relationship for six years before I proposed. And we never married.

            I look at it this way: by having the distance between us, we are afforded opportunities to talk and get to know each other, as well as spend time with our friends and family, and each grow as individuals while in a relationship. Miles don't determine if we will get engaged, or when we get engaged. However, if/when we do, there is no doubt that we've taken the time to get to know each other. We've each discussed our dreams, goals, and ambitions. Probably moreso than we would have if we were not long distance. We each look forward to the end of the day where we get to talk about how our day was. This was not always the case when I was in CD relationships. There certainly have been advantages for taking the time to get to know each other while we are long distance.

            I highlight the advantages because there are clear advantages that a lot of people don't see, and many folks only see negatives when they are thinking about LDR. Be happy with where you are while you are there instead of envying others. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way.

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