New to this

[BrytIZS]

Ok, I am a single mom who lives in Southern California, I never have time to date and usually don't ever find anyone that I am remotely interested in. I have a profile on POF (Plenty of Fish) but hardly ever respond to my messages. I was in San Francisco for work a couple of months ago and when I got home I decided to read this one message, "I have been seeing that you are nearby me for 5 days now, I realize you must be out here on work because your no longer are showing up, I regret waiting to say hello to you. If you have the time just shoot me a hi back"
So I did, it was on my 42nd birthday that we started talking, and we haven't stopped. I took a friend and we drove up to see him, and he is everything I never knew I wanted in a man. A single father who's son is only a year and a half older then my son, both our boys are very active in sports, which requires us to be more busy then usual- every weekend we are somewhere at a tournament. I have never wanted to introduce my son to anyone before, but I did. He flew out here with his son to go to Disneyland for 4 days, my son and I got a hotel room where they were staying and we all went to Disneyland together on New Years Eve. We had a great time, until I had to take him to the airport yesterday. Can you really make a long distance relationship work? Because I think I am falling in love with him and it scares me. Thank you in advance for reading my story, I appreciate any advice given, my friends are not the best at this.

[kittyo9]

Hey, welcome to the forum! I know a lot of people say scary things about long distance relationships, but we have had many couples on the forum who have closed the distance, gotten married, and started families! It is very possible to make it work, but it does take a lot of effort on both your parts. Your relationship sounds awesome and I'm so happy to hear that you guys are working out so well so far. The key is usually to be very open and honest with each other and to discuss your intentions for the relationship, whether it is to close the distance or to exist as you are (there are some couples who also never close the distance but continue having a long distance relationship). Being on the same page can really do wonders to reduce the amount of stress you feel from being apart.

How are you feeling about the long-term prospects of this relationship? There will be things to consider if you want to close the distance, like who is moving where and how it will affect your kids. I would also recommend you take a look at the subforums for parents (here) and 30+ individuals (here), as you may find some topics that are particularly relatable to you.

[sasad]

Hi there! As long as you both are willing to make the effort, communicate and plan dates and time for you both as well as the kids, you should be ok. These take work though, and can be frustrating with younger kids. Mine is now 11, and he and my SO get along wonderfully. It's also harder when you are a parent and you have custody situations to figure out. You are both in CA, but I assume on opposite ends??
Go for it. Enjoy what you have and see where it goes Just remember that you will need your adult time too. I love my kids more then anything, but I love me and love having someone special with me too.

[Chris516]

Ok, I am a single mom who lives in Southern California, I never have time to date and usually don't ever find anyone that I am remotely interested in. I have a profile on POF (Plenty of Fish) but hardly ever respond to my messages. I was in San Francisco for work a couple of months ago and when I got home I decided to read this one message, "I have been seeing that you are nearby me for 5 days now, I realize you must be out here on work because your no longer are showing up, I regret waiting to say hello to you. If you have the time just shoot me a hi back"
So I did, it was on my 42nd birthday that we started talking, and we haven't stopped. I took a friend and we drove up to see him, and he is everything I never knew I wanted in a man. A single father who's son is only a year and a half older then my son, both our boys are very active in sports, which requires us to be more busy then usual- every weekend we are somewhere at a tournament. I have never wanted to introduce my son to anyone before, but I did. He flew out here with his son to go to Disneyland for 4 days, my son and I got a hotel room where they were staying and we all went to Disneyland together on New Years Eve. We had a great time, until I had to take him to the airport yesterday. Can you really make a long distance relationship work? Because I think I am falling in love with him and it scares me. Thank you in advance for reading my story, I appreciate any advice given, my friends are not the best at this.

LDRs' require the effort of both parties. Especially remembering that, you both are not a short walk or, a short drive from each other.

[Moon]

Ok, I am a single mom who lives in Southern California, I never have time to date and usually don't ever find anyone that I am remotely interested in. I have a profile on POF (Plenty of Fish) but hardly ever respond to my messages. I was in San Francisco for work a couple of months ago and when I got home I decided to read this one message, "I have been seeing that you are nearby me for 5 days now, I realize you must be out here on work because your no longer are showing up, I regret waiting to say hello to you. If you have the time just shoot me a hi back"
So I did, it was on my 42nd birthday that we started talking, and we haven't stopped. I took a friend and we drove up to see him, and he is everything I never knew I wanted in a man. A single father who's son is only a year and a half older then my son, both our boys are very active in sports, which requires us to be more busy then usual- every weekend we are somewhere at a tournament. I have never wanted to introduce my son to anyone before, but I did. He flew out here with his son to go to Disneyland for 4 days, my son and I got a hotel room where they were staying and we all went to Disneyland together on New Years Eve. We had a great time, until I had to take him to the airport yesterday. Can you really make a long distance relationship work? Because I think I am falling in love with him and it scares me. Thank you in advance for reading my story, I appreciate any advice given, my friends are not the best at this.

Welp, you found a whole forum full of people doing just that Welcome! As single parents though, yours will be a bit more complicated because you likely can't just move whenever you like, due to visiting the other parent and custody concerns, but if you can manage enough visits, you can do this.

LDR's are not uncommon these days, so your situation isn't that unusual, you should be able to find a ton of support, advice and tips on this forum. You'll start to see how people make it work, and even from very great distances, and learn how many of us manage this unconventional lifestyle for long periods of time, when necessary Spend a few days reading here, and I think you'll feel a lot better about what you're getting yourself into; it isn't always the easiest thing to do, but LDR's have benefits and rewards of their own.

Keep in mind going in though, that not everybody can do an LDR, and that's OK. Some people just can't do the distance, and there's no way to know that in advance if you're new to it. If you let yourself have a good perspective, and look at some of the advantages though, instead of dwelling on the awful parts, it can be very rewarding. Good luck.