His trip has revealed deal breakers?

[NewToLongDistance2016]

So it has been a few days since my bf arrived. This trip has opened my eyes to seeing things i really dont like about him. My parents have told me I wouldnt be happy w him and he would prob end up taking advantage of me. What do I do?

[sasad]

Ummm. What do you want to do? We cant make decisions for you. That's not fair on anyone.
If you aren't happy, break it off. If you want to work through it, stay together...

[Stanislava]

Depends what these things are maybe you could share for us to help ?If they arent too bad you could talk to him about it but if they are more serious and go against your values i guess you should break it off.Is that only you noticing things or your parents pointing them out for you?

[R&R]

Ummm. What do you want to do? We cant make decisions for you. That's not fair on anyone.
If you aren't happy, break it off. If you want to work through it, stay together...

This. You've already had so many issues before this trip, and now you aren't happy with other things. You titled this "His trip has revealed deal breakers". That's probably your answer right there.

[Honour]

Like the others said, you already have your answer. No point in asking us... we don't know the details, and it's your decision alone.

[hmrambling]

So it has been a few days since my bf arrived. This trip has opened my eyes to seeing things i really dont like about him. My parents have told me I wouldnt be happy w him and he would prob end up taking advantage of me. What do I do?

You've already complained here that he doesn't contact you enough, that he didn't plan the trip in the timeframe that you wanted him to, you don't think he is motivated in his job to have a steady income that would support you, you feel insecure and tempted when you are lonely, have lost your best friend over him, and have questioned if the relationship is worth continuing. Form your own opinion, and don't put the responsibility of your choices on your family OR strangers on the internet.

Perhaps you can review your own posts and look at him in person and see him for who he is. Everyone has deal breakers. It is healthy to establish what your dealbreakers are and communicate those dealbreakers with him. Then when he crosses one of those dealbreakers, he will know that the behavior is unacceptable. At this point, I feel like a broken record because that is what I've been saying all along. I've been encouraging you all along to work on communicating your boundaries and telling him what those dealbreakers are.

Know that dating is getting to know someone and learning about that person, and that it's not instantly a relationship that is committed forever. So often we see these insta-relationships where people don't even know if they really like the person, yet they are planning a future with that person. Take time to get to know him, then make a decision... and don't play a victim by saying that your family or people on the internet told you what to do. Be accountable for your own decisions.

[Sparkling72]

that's why they're called "deal breakers" and not "obstacles you're willing to work on"

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Depends what these things are maybe you could share for us to help ?If they arent too bad you could talk to him about it but if they are more serious and go against your values i guess you should break it off.Is that only you noticing things or your parents pointing them out for you?

They are actually things that havent come up before.
-he has a short temper. My kitty cat is young and can be michevious, but he is such a sweet kitty. Idk what happened the other day, but my cat bit him. He has never done that to anyone and he puts up w a lot (i hug him, kiss him etc). Now my bf is rough w him and gets very easily annoyed w him. Its surprising cause he has had cats. This is the most disturbing about him.

-He eats A LOT, pretty much just gluttony and the problem is he doesnt exercise and complains about walking short distances.

-He is very lazy and kind of gets everyone to do stuff for him.

To me these are major esp the one w the cat because i know one day he will act like that w me. Since he has temper issues my parents want me to wait to say anything to hom until he gets home. Idk what to do.

[snow]

If you fear that he is going to hurt you if you address these issues, wait until he is back home. Always make sure you are safe.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

If you fear that he is going to hurt you if you address these issues, wait until he is back home. Always make sure you are safe.

Exactly what i plan on doing. Really hard not to say anything as he is here for another week.