Am I too Busy for Him?

[superior6146]

I have been seeing a gentlemen for the past year and a half. I feel that he cares about me, and I care about him.

Recently, he has expressed to me that he feels that my extra curricular activities are more important than our relationship. Yes, I am very involved with school's alumni association, as well as my career as an educator. I do it because I love to give back to my community and keeps me from being bored at home all the time. I have attempted to spend more quality time with him, but he currently works two jobs, so scheduling weekends together has been challenging. How do I convince this guy that I am still into him, in spite of my extra curricular activities?

[TheGirlAlmighty]

In my experience there's not much you can say to convince your SO, but it's more about what you do. Even if you are busy, taking a few minutes every day or every few days (depends on your own personal preferences - my SO and I prefer to communicate daily but I know others operate differently) to exchange some texts, emails or a quick phone call. This shows that you're not only still interested, but thinking about him even when you have other things to do. It's also really important that you set aside time to spend together that works for both of you (It sounds like weekends are tough, so maybe every other weekend? Is there one day that's better for both of you than the others?). Even if it's a few weeks away, if you are able to tell him something like "hey, I have this weekend or day free and I would really like to spend time with you if you are free too", it makes all the difference than just scrambling last minute to piecemeal something together. If there's one thing I've learned about LDRs, it's that planning and communication are key. After all, it sounds like you're in a relationship that extends past a casual friendship, and while I agree being involved in your own life is important, you don't want to let the pendulum swing too far one way. Ask yourself, if he ends up losing interest or getting frustrated that you two don't spend enough time together, are you going to regret not making more time for the relationship? Either way, I envy you in that I struggle finding things to keep me busy and take my mind off my SO. I hope things work out for you

[R&R]

I have been seeing a gentlemen for the past year and a half. I feel that he cares about me, and I care about him.

Recently, he has expressed to me that he feels that my extra curricular activities are more important than our relationship. Yes, I am very involved with school's alumni association, as well as my career as an educator. I do it because I love to give back to my community and keeps me from being bored at home all the time. I have attempted to spend more quality time with him, but he currently works two jobs, so scheduling weekends together has been challenging. How do I convince this guy that I am still into him, in spite of my extra curricular activities?

From what I see, you have two things that keep you busy and so does he. If you were involved in both of these things when you first got together and he was also holding down two jobs, then both of you knew what you were getting involved with.

You should not be made to feel guilty for your passion for education and the alumni association. You have attempted to put effort into this while trying to accommodate both your schedule and his schedule. What has he done to help make it easier? Has he only complained but not come up with any ideas of his own to rectify the situation?

A relationship takes two parties working together, communicating and compromise. Ask him what he means by he thinks that your activities are more of a priority. Ask him to come up with what he believes are realistic/reasonable solutions to this and then discuss it. His general complaints without providing any solutions aren't helpful to resolving the problem. Working together and really discussing the issue should help a lot.

[Chris516]

I have been seeing a gentlemen for the past year and a half. I feel that he cares about me, and I care about him.

Recently, he has expressed to me that he feels that my extra curricular activities are more important than our relationship. Yes, I am very involved with school's alumni association, as well as my career as an educator. I do it because I love to give back to my community and keeps me from being bored at home all the time. I have attempted to spend more quality time with him, but he currently works two jobs, so scheduling weekends together has been challenging. How do I convince this guy that I am still into him, in spite of my extra curricular activities?

Creatively surprise him, again, and again. So you keep reminding him about your feelings for him.