Extended visit

[JeanJean]

I'm going to be spending the summer with my SO. 9 weeks and 4 days to be exact.

Kids are going to be with dads for the summer, and I can take my work with me.

I am so excited, it will be the longest amount of time we've spent together. At the same time I am so nervous that being together for such a long amount of time will change us in some way. Also concerned about how much harder goodbye will be.

Has/does anyone spend months at a time with their SO?

[sasad]

Yep... I have!

We agreed to give each other space and worked together well. I would go for walks while he worked etc., or drive around the area. I do the same for him when he is here. We only have 1 car in each location, but we worked that out as well. He goes shopping alone sometimes or we walk to the store . We don't constantly ask, where are you going? what are you doing? what do you want to do etc. We are adults and can do stuff alone a well as together. We did learn we cook well together in the kitchen! I love to clean and he is amazing at doing AND completing projects. Its hard not to be on perfect behavior for long periods of time, so be yourself! Make sure you talk and remember you are not Siamese twins joined at the hip

[Sparkling72]

Sounds wonderful!! I agree with everything Sasad said... just be yourself. SO and I spent a total of 2 out of the last 3 months together - the most time we have ever spent. I was worried about a lot of things, and yes, a few bumps here and there... but all minor and learning how to live together was the best thing! We both fell into routines. I love cooking, he doesn't, he loves doing laundry, I hate it. So while I cooked, he folded laundry with the kids. Once we got our patterns down, it felt very natural. Be yourself

[Rezie]

After 4 years together we spent more that 1 week together..11 weeks to be exact. It was a good experience but not all fun and games all the time. We wanted to treat it as a practice if we were to close the distance. I had hard time adjusting that there was a man in my apartment doing nothing and to kind of experience it as more than a holiday. He had hard time not being at work and staying in my flat and not knowing how things should be done. All in all a good experience and Im glad he came over. It did change us, but in more realistic image in a way. In retrospect I think I had unrealistic expectatons about his comfort level in my flat and I think he learned that I can be difficult 😀

But I'm sure you will be great. Give each other space and try to do normal stuff aswell. Don't over think. try to be yourself!

[ThePhoenixRises]

I think it's wonderful that you have the chance to spend such a long time together! I am about to do this too (I travel to him in 2 weeks - and I will be spending nearly 3 months with him). He will be working during that time so we won't be joined at the hip, and I have a lot of exploring to do (of his country - as I am planning to move there in the future), and also a lot of language to learn I am also worried about the difficult goodbye - but I am lucky to be able to spend such a long time with him, so I am not going to let that get me down. Good luck - I hope it goes great!

[JeanJean]

PhoenixRises,

My SO is usually working when I visit also, but its fine by me. I like being home when he gets home from work, I also enjoy the alone time.

Wishing you the best on your visit. Yes we are lucky to be able to spend that amount of time with our SO's. Not everyone gets this type of opportunity.


Thanks

[Chris516]

OP, There is only one thing to say about your extended visit........

YOWZA!!!

[lovestoread]

That sounds great,don't worry about anything and have a wonderful time together,the time will fly by so take lots of pictures to remember your moments and days together.

[Bee'sknees]

I spent three months in the UK last summer. I had my own place for two months and then I spent the last month at my BF's. I was really nervous initially, cause I thought I'd manage to ruin the whole thing. It was a big step, but everything went wonderfully in the end. I think it's a great idea to do that before actually closing the distance. In an LD you don't necessarily have the same chance to really see how your SO deals with the everyday situations and all that, so an extended visit can give you some insight. Happy for you!

[JeanJean]

Initially my thought was that this would show us how it will be when we close the distance. Glad to see so many of you have had the opportunity to do the same. It is exciting, at the same time I am a little nervous that we will get on each others nerves. lol
Guess it happens even in the best relationships.

Great advice about doing things on our own, taking time to be our own person...etc

Usually when I visit I am home alone most of the day while he's at work. It is difficult for him to take time off work. I don't mind this at all.
We even have a routine where we cook together once he gets home, I tried cooking prior to his getting home and having "dinner on the table" but he got annoyed. He doesn't want to be waited on....lol