Am I overreacting about this? What do you think?

[InLoveToHard]

My mom told me when I go to see my bf on the 29th, instead of coming home on the 12th I could come home the 13th, I told him that, and he works at a plant and told me before that if he wants to request a day off or anything it has to be atleast 2 weeks before that day so I figured knowing I could stay one more day he would take that one day off and he says he can't because he is being considered for a different position or a promotion and that he can't take one day off cuz apparently if he takes one day off he won't get the promotion which isn't guaranteed anyway for him because there are many people being considered so he said he can't take that one day off because supposedly it will, in his head ,not get him this promotion that isn't guaranteed anyway. Am I overreacting? I would totally understand if I asked him to take a week or 2 off for when I visited but one day so he could take me to the airport, just cuz we won't see each other again prolly for another 2 months or more after I leave this time..oh yea also, the whole 2 weeks I'm visiting him he will be working everyday except for the 2 sundays, so it's not like he is taking off the 2 weeks I'm there as well, he will be working 3-1130 everyday.

[Chris516]

My mom told me when I go to see my bf on the 29th, instead of coming home on the 12th I could come home the 13th, I told him that, and he works at a plant and told me before that if he wants to request a day off or anything it has to be atleast 2 weeks before that day so I figured knowing I could stay one more day he would take that one day off and he says he can't because he is being considered for a different position or a promotion and that he can't take one day off cuz apparently if he takes one day off he won't get the promotion which isn't guaranteed anyway for him because there are many people being considered so he said he can't take that one day off because supposedly it will, in his head ,not get him this promotion that isn't guaranteed anyway. Am I overreacting? I would totally understand if I asked him to take a week or 2 off for when I visited but one day so he could take me to the airport, just cuz we won't see each other again probably for another 2 months or more after I leave this time..oh yea also, the whole 2 weeks I'm visiting him he will be working everyday except for the 2 sundays, so it's not like he is taking off the 2 weeks I'm there as well, he will be working 3-1130 everyday.

How will you get to the airport if he doesn't take the day off?

[InLoveToHard]

Sundays are his only day off it's why I was going from January 29th til February 12th. And he's working every day I'm there anyway

[Rezie]

I want to say yes and no. Naturally you are entitled to any emotion and you can't control them. If you feel bad then that is allowed.

It is a bit crappy that he doesn't have any other days off than sunday. But if he feels like taking a day off will damage his career then he should do what he thinks is best for him. You asking him to take a day off is not unreasonable nor is him saying that he can't.

[C.C.]

I agree.
He's not taking a day off because he's actually concerned about what impact a day off might have and doesn't matter if it's one or several days. He MIGHT be exaggerating and overly cautious, that can be his fault. But if he truly feels that doing it isn't safe then he's not wrong towards you, if it makes sense.
And neither are you being unreasonable because you don't really know/understand his work situation either.

[R&R]

It is a bit crappy that he doesn't have any other days off than sunday. But if he feels like taking a day off will damage his career then he should do what he thinks is best for him. You asking him to take a day off is not unreasonable nor is him saying that he can't.

I agree with this. Though the position may not be guaranteed for him, at least he has a chance. If him taking the day off will ensure he won't get the promotion, then he needs to be at work that day. In the grand scheme of things, him not taking this one day off really won't make a difference for your relationship but it could make all the difference in his career.

[JeanJean]

I know first hand how hard it is to leave while your SO is at work. I have had to take a cab on more than one occasion. I try to plan my stay so that I leave on his day off.
I understand you wanting an extra day with him, but if he feels that it would jeopardize his reputation at work to take a day off, maybe you can make other arrangements.

[InLoveToHard]

I wouldn't really consider his job a career. I probably know his job a little more than I should. I just works in a factory. Just a factory job, I'm not really sure if this will be his forever career, but I also know taking a day off at his job is ok from what he has always told me. He has told me as long as it's 2 weeks notice, they can take a day off. It it was weeks he was asking to take off id understand but he also hasn't been there even a year yet. He never calls in sick and never takes days off. I get where he is coming from but it isn't like if didn't take one day off that they'll say oh he didn't take a day off or if he did I know they won't say "well he took one day off he isn't getting it" it's a factory job and I know factory jobs all to well. He shows up every day and stays his whole shift and never breaks a single rule so if one day off would ruin any chance then that's sad to me because I know it really wouldn't ruin the chance. I understand his paranoia but at the same time, we never saw each other face to face for 4 years, then I visited for the first time 2 months ago and it was for a week and it went well not that well, his video game held more priority over me, and now I'm going for 2 weeks and an extra day would be awesome but oh well. I prolly won't see him for a while after I visit this time. Guess it's my loss. I'm already at the point that I'm going to see how this visit goes and see if I get any attention this time. If not I'm probably going to end the relationship anyway. I've been put last since I can remember and it sucks and I just wait and wait to see maybe something that will change but it never seems to. I probably should've left this relationship a long time ago. A day off or not, I'm not really sure if this relationship can be salvaged anymore. I think I just wanted that extra day just for my own selfish needs maybe. I love him but he gets away with way to much being with me and honestly I don't think any woman in my position would have stayed this long with the way he has treated me and continues to treat me. Some days he is sweet and loving and other days I'm told I'm crazy and when I voice how I'm feeling or what I think I'm told I'm bitching and complaining and have anger issues. I by no means and perfect but for someone to tell me they love me but have never sacrificed for me and have never tried to compromise with me on things or try to support me in things I'm going through or comfort me when I have cried well....it speaks a million words and shows me a lot. Thank you all for your help in this.

[sasad]

Is he 21 ish??

[JeanJean]

InLoveToHard

seems that it's more than just him not taking that one day off that is getting to you.
To be honest if you are feeling unappreciated and ignored by him try talking to him about this again.
I know easier said then done, but it is the only way to really let him know that you are unhappy.

I hope you can work things out.
Wish you the best.

[snow]

I get how you're feeling and I understand how everything that you've been through is playing into this one situation, but I would still trust him on his judgment when it comes to his job. You are not working at that particular factory, his supervisor is not your supervisor and yes, if the policy states that as long as he tells them 2 weeks prior to taking a day off he should get it, doesn't mean they won't be assholes about it.
My friend asked a month prior to a trip for a weekend off and then they simply called her in those days anyways. People are shit sometimes. If this is something he enjoys doing and he doesn't want to screw up, that's on him.

However, if he makes no time for you after coming home from work, that's a whole different story. I visited my husband for 2 months in the summer and even though he had to work every single day besides his usual one day off, he made sure that the rest of the time (or mostly the rest of the time) was our quality time. If he is not putting in that effort, you are definitely not overreacting.

[sasad]

OP has a thread where she mentioned he is gamer and basically ignored her when she visite for their first time meet up... i
He is 21 and pretty much just works and games from what i read. There may be more then work as an issue with him.

[Chris516]

OP has a thread where she mentioned he is gamer and basically ignored her when she visite for their first time meet up... i
He is 21 and pretty much just works and games from what i read. There may be more then work as an issue with him.

Or just a stupid excuse on his part. Gaming would only be justified, if it was part of research in game design.

[sasad]

Or just a stupid excuse on his part. Gaming would only be justified, if it was part of research in game design.

She admitted all he did was game when she was there, Its not his job, the factory is. So I go with its an excuse tbh.

[TaraMarie]

Seems to me she's already made up her mind about himanyway. And based on what she's said, I can't imagine why she wants to be with him.