Girlfriend broke up - Still loves me - Don't know what to do
Hello everyone,
I would appreciate if you could read everything and give me some advice because I'm totally lost.. Thanks in advance
I've met my SO in France and our relationship started at 15.08.2015.
I am 21 and she will turn 18 in 1,5 months. We've nearly had a relationship for 1,5 years now. I really love her much and I saw my future wife in her. She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss and my first time. We've shared many great moments together which are unforgetable.
My parents and my family found out kinda quickly that I was in couple with her and everyone accepted her. My SO was scared about telling her parents, so indirectly her dad got to know that she was in couple with me (her parents are divorced) and he accepted it as well. Every time I came (around 7-8x a year), I stayed at her dads place with her together. Her dad told her mum after a while and also she accepted me. This wasn't the problem at all. A week before X-Mas she came over to my house for the first time, meeting my family and celebrating X-Mas with us. This was perfect to me and mostly to her as well. The day she had to go home, my aunts, dad and grandad cried because they really like her and they were sad that she had to go back. My parents met her already, because in summer I stayed at her place for 6 weeks and my parents came there on holiday for 1 week, so they also met her dad.
Now, to get to the problem and the things that happened:
At the beginning of the relationship she used to get angry for nothing and react it to me by insulting. It really hurt me and I asked her to change a few times. I forgave her every time and I also gave her enough chances. It took her a while but she managed to change, to contain herself and she also became a sensitive and caring person. No matter what she did, I kept loving her the same. After this period it was good between us. Every time I went over at her place we had brilliant times, which none of us will ever forget. Although, she also hurt me a few times physically, but also this I forgave her, and I would never hurt this girl physically. But like I said, I always forgave her and gave her new chances. When she went home after X-Mas, I went with her and stayed 1,5 week at her place. Even there we argued, and I had enough and I was grabbing my stuff and packing my suitcases to go to a friend who lives in France as well. Then she got violent and was scratching me and screaming at me. I started to cry really hard and suddenly she hugged me, but I didn't want to hug her. Afterwards she took my suitcase and put it in front of her door and told me to get out. So I did, and I went outside and just sat on the side of the road, crying. Everyone was worried and even my SO sent me messages to ask where I was. At the end, I slept at my friends house and the day after I decided to go back to her house and forgive her, again..
A few months ago, I was the one who started being like this, I started to get angry and react it at her every time, also by insults, even though I never wanted to hurt this girl.. I just wasn't able to control myself. Then one month ago, I received a letter from the judge in Luxembourg to come to the court for a questioning, because I was a suspect of something and I was really afraid of everything, so this period killed me as well and it didn't help me to improve myself. Before I had to go to the court, she wanted to give up on us already, but basically I kinda forced her to stay with me, because I promised her that after this dark period I would never insult her again. 3 Days ago, at Tuesday 17 january, it was the day where I had to go to the court. After the questioning, my lawyer told me that she thought that it would be okay, as I never was in touch with the police before and I don't have any drug problems, I'm still at university etcetera. I called my girlfriend straight away from Luxembourg, and she was so happy for me. She talked so nice to me, and me to her as well, like as if it was the first day we were in a relationship. She sent me a lot of hearts and called me by sweet names. I thought that from this moment everything would be ok again like it used to be.
The next day, Wednesday, she told me that she was having lunch with 3 boys. I asked her some questions about it, because I am really insecure and jealous. Also because last year she went to a party and she was kinda drunk and a boy kissed her, but she told me that she pushed him away. Even though this happened I forgave her a few hours after and I gave her another chance. Also because the fact that this happened I became really really jealous and insecure. About the jealousy, we both were jealous. She even used to get upset because I talked to a girl on Facebook before I met her. Suddenly she told me that I could go and talk with girls and that she wouldn't be jealous anymore, and basically she asked me to do the same. To give her more space and trying not to be jealous anymore.
Like I said, I asked her a few questions about that she was lunching with 3 boys, and she became kinda angry and suddenly she told me that our relationship was over. She told me that this wasn't the only reason, but it was one, as she got annoyed of my questions. The other reasons were that too many things happened, the fact that I hurt her with my words and also because I forced her to stay with me before. She also tells me that it's too late for me to change myself, but the last 2-3 days before she broke up, I never insulted her again and I also calmed her down whenever she would get angry.
The fact that she says that it is too late too change, I don't find it really true. I know from myself that the angry person I was, is gone and I would never insult her again. I would be willing to do everything for her. I even told her: "Why don't you just give it one last chance? You can't lose more than you lost already. If ever it still doesn't work, you can just go easily, if it does work, then it's great for both of us".
I kept telling her this but she tells me not to force her to come back to me. She tells me it's 100% over and she will never come back. I didn't want to tell my parents yet, so she sent my dad a message and told him it's over, to show me that it's really over.. She also told him that it's not because she doesn't love me, but just because too many things happened.
She also told me herself, that she still loves me and also that she still has feelings for me. Furthermore, she tells me that she will still be there for me and I can still talk to her, so basically she wants to remain friends, as long as I don't talk about her to come back to me...
I've been crying so much since she left me, I can't eat anymore and I vomited a few times. I'm having so much pain that this wonderful girl doesn't wanna be with me anymore..
I had so many plans with her for the future.. I even changed my school route so I would be done in 1,5 years from now to live in France with her.. I gave up many things for her, just to be with her. For valentines day / her birthday I was going to get her the best present she had ever had.. Everything was just so perfect with her, the date we started our relationship (15 august), was the date where my grandmother died, so except the fact that it was/is a sad day for me, it's also the date where I started something that had to be my future..
Now, she wants me to accept it and to let her go, and to just be friends with her. But currently I really can't, I am so in love with her and I wonder if my love for her will ever disappear. Because of the fact that she told me that she still loves me and still has feelings, I don't want to give up and I still have faith in that she might regret her decision and start to miss me and come back.. I just can't move on..
I don't know what to do anymore, I read that it's best to just stop talking to her, but I won't be able to do that for now, as I'm so attached to her. Every time I think about the nice moments we had and every time I have her face in my head, and so I start to cry over and over again..
I hope everything was clear. I could really use some advice on what to do, and also I would like to know if you people think that there's a chance that she might come back, even though she says it's over 100%..
Kind regards,
Max
I would appreciate if you could read everything and give me some advice because I'm totally lost.. Thanks in advance
I've met my SO in France and our relationship started at 15.08.2015.
I am 21 and she will turn 18 in 1,5 months. We've nearly had a relationship for 1,5 years now. I really love her much and I saw my future wife in her. She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss and my first time. We've shared many great moments together which are unforgetable.
My parents and my family found out kinda quickly that I was in couple with her and everyone accepted her. My SO was scared about telling her parents, so indirectly her dad got to know that she was in couple with me (her parents are divorced) and he accepted it as well. Every time I came (around 7-8x a year), I stayed at her dads place with her together. Her dad told her mum after a while and also she accepted me. This wasn't the problem at all. A week before X-Mas she came over to my house for the first time, meeting my family and celebrating X-Mas with us. This was perfect to me and mostly to her as well. The day she had to go home, my aunts, dad and grandad cried because they really like her and they were sad that she had to go back. My parents met her already, because in summer I stayed at her place for 6 weeks and my parents came there on holiday for 1 week, so they also met her dad.
Now, to get to the problem and the things that happened:
At the beginning of the relationship she used to get angry for nothing and react it to me by insulting. It really hurt me and I asked her to change a few times. I forgave her every time and I also gave her enough chances. It took her a while but she managed to change, to contain herself and she also became a sensitive and caring person. No matter what she did, I kept loving her the same. After this period it was good between us. Every time I went over at her place we had brilliant times, which none of us will ever forget. Although, she also hurt me a few times physically, but also this I forgave her, and I would never hurt this girl physically. But like I said, I always forgave her and gave her new chances. When she went home after X-Mas, I went with her and stayed 1,5 week at her place. Even there we argued, and I had enough and I was grabbing my stuff and packing my suitcases to go to a friend who lives in France as well. Then she got violent and was scratching me and screaming at me. I started to cry really hard and suddenly she hugged me, but I didn't want to hug her. Afterwards she took my suitcase and put it in front of her door and told me to get out. So I did, and I went outside and just sat on the side of the road, crying. Everyone was worried and even my SO sent me messages to ask where I was. At the end, I slept at my friends house and the day after I decided to go back to her house and forgive her, again..
A few months ago, I was the one who started being like this, I started to get angry and react it at her every time, also by insults, even though I never wanted to hurt this girl.. I just wasn't able to control myself. Then one month ago, I received a letter from the judge in Luxembourg to come to the court for a questioning, because I was a suspect of something and I was really afraid of everything, so this period killed me as well and it didn't help me to improve myself. Before I had to go to the court, she wanted to give up on us already, but basically I kinda forced her to stay with me, because I promised her that after this dark period I would never insult her again. 3 Days ago, at Tuesday 17 january, it was the day where I had to go to the court. After the questioning, my lawyer told me that she thought that it would be okay, as I never was in touch with the police before and I don't have any drug problems, I'm still at university etcetera. I called my girlfriend straight away from Luxembourg, and she was so happy for me. She talked so nice to me, and me to her as well, like as if it was the first day we were in a relationship. She sent me a lot of hearts and called me by sweet names. I thought that from this moment everything would be ok again like it used to be.
The next day, Wednesday, she told me that she was having lunch with 3 boys. I asked her some questions about it, because I am really insecure and jealous. Also because last year she went to a party and she was kinda drunk and a boy kissed her, but she told me that she pushed him away. Even though this happened I forgave her a few hours after and I gave her another chance. Also because the fact that this happened I became really really jealous and insecure. About the jealousy, we both were jealous. She even used to get upset because I talked to a girl on Facebook before I met her. Suddenly she told me that I could go and talk with girls and that she wouldn't be jealous anymore, and basically she asked me to do the same. To give her more space and trying not to be jealous anymore.
Like I said, I asked her a few questions about that she was lunching with 3 boys, and she became kinda angry and suddenly she told me that our relationship was over. She told me that this wasn't the only reason, but it was one, as she got annoyed of my questions. The other reasons were that too many things happened, the fact that I hurt her with my words and also because I forced her to stay with me before. She also tells me that it's too late for me to change myself, but the last 2-3 days before she broke up, I never insulted her again and I also calmed her down whenever she would get angry.
The fact that she says that it is too late too change, I don't find it really true. I know from myself that the angry person I was, is gone and I would never insult her again. I would be willing to do everything for her. I even told her: "Why don't you just give it one last chance? You can't lose more than you lost already. If ever it still doesn't work, you can just go easily, if it does work, then it's great for both of us".
I kept telling her this but she tells me not to force her to come back to me. She tells me it's 100% over and she will never come back. I didn't want to tell my parents yet, so she sent my dad a message and told him it's over, to show me that it's really over.. She also told him that it's not because she doesn't love me, but just because too many things happened.
She also told me herself, that she still loves me and also that she still has feelings for me. Furthermore, she tells me that she will still be there for me and I can still talk to her, so basically she wants to remain friends, as long as I don't talk about her to come back to me...
I've been crying so much since she left me, I can't eat anymore and I vomited a few times. I'm having so much pain that this wonderful girl doesn't wanna be with me anymore..
I had so many plans with her for the future.. I even changed my school route so I would be done in 1,5 years from now to live in France with her.. I gave up many things for her, just to be with her. For valentines day / her birthday I was going to get her the best present she had ever had.. Everything was just so perfect with her, the date we started our relationship (15 august), was the date where my grandmother died, so except the fact that it was/is a sad day for me, it's also the date where I started something that had to be my future..
Now, she wants me to accept it and to let her go, and to just be friends with her. But currently I really can't, I am so in love with her and I wonder if my love for her will ever disappear. Because of the fact that she told me that she still loves me and still has feelings, I don't want to give up and I still have faith in that she might regret her decision and start to miss me and come back.. I just can't move on..
I don't know what to do anymore, I read that it's best to just stop talking to her, but I won't be able to do that for now, as I'm so attached to her. Every time I think about the nice moments we had and every time I have her face in my head, and so I start to cry over and over again..
I hope everything was clear. I could really use some advice on what to do, and also I would like to know if you people think that there's a chance that she might come back, even though she says it's over 100%..
Kind regards,
Max
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