Finding it difficult

[abbiec000]

Hi! im new here but ive reached the point that i need support and my friends try but they cant relate

ive been with my partner for almost a year now, and hes been away at uni for 5 months of that time. im so proud of him and i love that hes doing something that he enjoys but with my work schedule, i cant really go visit much and he cant afford to come back much.

its now been 3 weeks since i last saw him and im craving the simple things such as a hug after a long day at work or a surprise visit at 1am
i wont be able to move there for at least a year im guessing due to financial problems, but i cant carry on like this

do i suggest a break until we can be together or do we push to find new things to make it easier for us?

any tips would be amazing, thank you

[Sparkling72]

HI and Welcome! Adjusting is always hard, but if you both truly love each other, you'll find a way to make it work. There are lots of links on here for ideas on what to do in between visits that can still make you feel very connected. Have you told him how you are feeling? is he having a similar struggle? talking on the phone, texting, and video calls are very helpful. do the two of you do that often?

[abbiec000]

Thats what i keep thinking. We love each other so surely we cant give that up
ive just ordered some of those bracelets and i am going to read a lot of stuff on here to try help
the last few days, the truth has come out and we're trying to discuss it all but we're not getting anywhere. he finds it hard too
i try to call him before bed every night to hear about his day but hes obviously very busy at uni so i dont want to be a nuisance

[sasad]

Thats what i keep thinking. We love each other so surely we cant give that up
ive just ordered some of those bracelets and i am going to read a lot of stuff on here to try help
the last few days, the truth has come out and we're trying to discuss it all but we're not getting anywhere. he finds it hard too
i try to call him before bed every night to hear about his day but hes obviously very busy at uni so i dont want to be a nuisance

If it feels like to much, then plan and space your calls out! Maybe every 3 days. To Tues Thur, whatever works for you both. This can give you more time and experiences apart so you can have more to discuss. ALso , please make sure you keep your life your own too. Plan time with friends or hobbies.

[Karura]

It's never easy but you can do things to make less difficult for you. Here are a few things:

1) I agree with other posters that getting distracted is important, to do what you enjoy doing or to keep yourself busy when you two can't talk. When I'm not talking to my SO I try to do activities that make me happy, like drawing, or do work projects (since he distracts me a lot when we're on a call haha). The distance is a good thing for you to see how independent you can be without someone so important in your life, and that can do wonders once you reunite.
2) When you guys do contact each other, be open and talk about things that bother you. It is important to plan your schedule well to leave some time for your SO even if it's a simple message to let them know you're busy. Be honest and don't hide what you're feeling.
3) Another thing is to have a positive view of the future and maybe even plan out a few things with your partner so that you two can have something to look forward to that will keep your relationship going strong.

However, LDR isn't for everyone and if you feel like your heart really can't take it, it's up to you if you decide to break things up. It's your life and if you decide what you feel it's best for you. ^^

[Chris516]

Hi! im new here but ive reached the point that i need support and my friends try but they cant relate

ive been with my partner for almost a year now, and hes been away at uni for 5 months of that time. im so proud of him and i love that hes doing something that he enjoys but with my work schedule, i cant really go visit much and he cant afford to come back much.

its now been 3 weeks since i last saw him and im craving the simple things such as a hug after a long day at work or a surprise visit at 1am
i wont be able to move there for at least a year im guessing due to financial problems, but i cant carry on like this

do i suggest a break until we can be together or do we push to find new things to make it easier for us?

any tips would be amazing, thank you

Apart from the university, what do you do during the day?