Our disagreement got way out if hand. I finally got in touch w my bf after sporadic contact. He said that he felt suffocated and for me to give him breathing room during his trip. He admitted he didnt want to look at the phone for fear of heartache. He told ne he would work w me and we ended on I love yous. I respected his space and only texted him casually. He responded twice w a statement and a little heart. Those 2 days were so hard for me, but i know if i was texting more he would ignore it. I did not mean for this to interrupt our trips, the issue started last week. Good sign or not?
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Well he needs to communicate that he felt suffocated, how are you supposed to know?
Glad you guys' conversation ended on good terms, but I would definitely have an in-depth conversation about boundaries and expectations soon. He cannot simply take a trip without you knowing and then expect you not to worry when he won't respond. It's unacceptable.
If he feels like you are too clingy, you guys need to talk about what you need and how you can compromise. Maybe texting him a lot stresses him out, maybe you can work out what times work best for him.
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015 -
I knew about the trip, but from the info given (lack of funds), i didnt think he was going otherwise i would have waited. I was never clingy in the past until this moment. I had too much time on my own on my across the world flight. I just really need to stop overanalyzing everything and that for me is really hard. Now esp i guess i have to wait. He does message me back, but its sporadic, im not saying anything though. I def want him to be upfront about whats going on. I asked him if everything was ok and until a couple days ago everything was, then he told me he felt a loss of connection, something he feels w his friends as well. Im just glad its better theb when a guy ghosted me.Originally posted by snow View PostComment
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There have been ither issues u=in your relationship from past post.. Maybe you both need to step back and figure out what it is you need. I think in your last post that this trip came as a surprise for you.. so did you know or didn't you? He also wont talk to you when he is with his parents and I think he lives at home.. correct?Comment
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Oh, I didn't mean you were clingy or anything, I don't know your relationship, but if he feels smothered, then there must have been something that made him feel so suffocated.
I feel like if he was more upfront, you wouldn't have had to be so pushy and text him several times. If he told you he was going on this trip and would be busy for X days, you'd be much more at ease!
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
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I seriously don't get anything. Didn't he tell you before that he was going on trip and asked for lesser contact for those days? Did you contact him a lot during that time or what?
Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View PostComment
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I did, but he left a day later then when he was supposed to and he said he may not go. Yes he lives at home. He did have better comm, but this past 2 weeks its been off.Originally posted by sasad View PostComment
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Had he told me he was prepping that day, i would have not done anything. It def comes down to immaturity at least imo. Had it been me i would have told my partner, hey im busy atm, lets talk about this when we are both home.Originally posted by snow View PostComment
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That is exactly my point! You two are adults and he should be acting like one. It takes a couple seconds to type "I'm busy atm, ttyl" and that is most of the time all you need. Later on he can explain what happened, but oh well, hope he understands that it takes two to make this work. Good luck!!Originally posted by NewToLongDistance2016 View Post
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
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Ugh overanalyzing again :[ he sometimes answers my messages or they go completely unanswered. Idk whats going on. It hurts that other then a couple i love yous, he hasnt asked how my vaca is going ir anything sigh....is that a bad sign?Originally posted by snow View PostComment
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Some people don't like texting. Are they texts that need an answer to them immediately? I really think you need to stop waiting around for the next text and find more things to occupy your time with than analysing every response or lack of it. Do you talk on the phone/video too? Maybe have a proper conversation about what level of communication you're both happy with and set some clear boundaries between you.Comment
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True i do need to find things. We vid chat 2 or 3 times a week. I def need to find a better compromise of communication.Originally posted by 80anthea View PostComment
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