He loves me, but he isnt ready. Any hope?

[NewToLongDistance2016]

We pretty much broke up. I am in quite a lot of pain because something very similar happened to me right before i began dating him (the guy was meaner about it though). My ex (I guess), said he loved me, but was unhappy and he wants to be single, he woyldnt hold it against me if i dated other guys (which i will do because i want to be in a relationship). My heart is torn to pieces. Idk if he was being genuine or not, but it seemed like he couldnt let go. I told him i would give him a week of nc, just to see. This will give me healing and perspective. Any words of comfort? I feel abandoned and kind of worthless, not even worth fighting for.

[Rezie]

You've had quite a lot of problems and even you have doubted if you want to continue. Sometimes love is not enough. You both have to want the relationship. It might be for the best. I'm sure after some time you will feel better. Good luck x

[NewToLongDistance2016]

You've had quite a lot of problems and even you have doubted if you want to continue. Sometimes love is not enough. You both have to want the relationship. It might be for the best. I'm sure after some time you will feel better. Good luck x

Thank you, all along i felt something was off, my gut instinct is never wrong. Im resentful he didnt tell me right away, he should have never let it get this far. If he has told me a couple months ago, I would be closer to being content and find a man who will move mountains for me.

[sasad]

You relationship was so new. I think it was less than 6 months old, and as people have pointed out, it wasn't right. Pretty much every other day you were posting about how things weren't what you wanted. That's ok. It's not what either of you needed. As much as it hurts, its better he let you know now. He wasn't cut out for this type of relatiosndhip and need to respect that . s much as it hurts, it would have hurt worse if you kept going. Take some time and learn about what it is you need. Don't just settle for someone. Take care.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

You relationship was so new. I think it was less than 6 months old, and as people have pointed out, it wasn't right. Pretty much every other day you were posting about how things weren't what you wanted. That's ok. It's not what either of you needed. As much as it hurts, its better he let you know now. He wasn't cut out for this type of relatiosndhip and need to respect that . s much as it hurts, it would have hurt worse if you kept going. Take some time and learn about what it is you need. Don't just settle for someone. Take care.

I feel completely rejected.

[80anthea]

Break ups can be tough and you may hurt but take it as an opportunity. Work on yourself and your anxiety. You said in a previous post somewhere you didn't have many things to do whilst waiting for his texts, find things. Find things that make YOU happy that don't involve a relationship, trust me your next relationship will be a lot stronger if it isn't the only thing in your life making you happy and content.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Break ups can be tough and you may hurt but take it as an opportunity. Work on yourself and your anxiety. You said in a previous post somewhere you didn't have many things to do whilst waiting for his texts, find things. Find things that make YOU happy that don't involve a relationship, trust me your next relationship will be a lot stronger if it isn't the only thing in your life making you happy and content.

Ive been through a difficult break up, I know in a couple weeks, itll be better. Just hard when you get no closure, that although Im supposedly an amazing person, Im still not wanted nor worth fighting for. I think that hurts the absolute worst.

[R&R]

Sometimes you have to get up and close the door yourself. You can't always count on the other person. Be the adult that you are and close the door and move forward.

Not every person is right for everyone. I'm not going to fight for a relationship with a person that isn't the right fit for me. It doesn't mean they aren't a good person but it does mean they weren't who I felt compatible with. This is what dating is about. Getting to know each other and deciding if you are compatible and want to continue to pursue it. Stop letting someone else set your self-worth.

[kittyo9]

Ive been through a difficult break up, I know in a couple weeks, itll be better. Just hard when you get no closure, that although Im supposedly an amazing person, Im still not wanted nor worth fighting for. I think that hurts the absolute worst.

I've felt like this a lot. It's not your fault, but somehow it feels worse that it wasn't your fault, because at least then you'd understand why it didn't work. It's a terrible feeling and I hope you can call upon your friends and family to support you, but also give yourself time to grieve and process.

[hmrambling]

Im resentful he didnt tell me right away, he should have never let it get this far.

Both parties own a responsibility in the relationship. He is not the only person who participated in the relationship. I always encourage people to autopsy the relationship and look at the role that they played in how the relationship turned out, and I will encourage you to do the same. I suggest that you do not sit in the victim role when you were an active participant in the relationship. If you do not get out of the victim role and look at the part you played in the relationship, you will continue to repeat the same patterns over and over regardless who your partner is.

In short, it's not all on him.

Because data.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

I've felt like this a lot. It's not your fault, but somehow it feels worse that it wasn't your fault, because at least then you'd understand why it didn't work. It's a terrible feeling and I hope you can call upon your friends and family to support you, but also give yourself time to grieve and process.

What is a mature way to handle a break up. My parents said im like a teen (im in my 20s) i struggle w getting through the day, lose sleep, dont eat etc. Its not like i dont get out of bed, never miss work due to heartache. Is it normal to cry sporadically, i feel like there is a heavy weight in my chest. I cant help resenting the thought of him happy w someone else (bad i know).

[sasad]

What is a mature way to handle a break up. My parents said im like a teen (im in my 20s) i struggle w getting through the day, lose sleep, dont eat etc. Its not like i dont get out of bed, never miss work due to heartache. Is it normal to cry sporadically, i feel like there is a heavy weight in my chest. I cant help resenting the thought of him happy w someone else (bad i know).

You need to stop and move on with your life. Look at what other people have said and take their advice.
People break up all the time. Grieve, cry, give yourself a little time and then move on.
Your relationship was less then 6 months along. You had so many doubts and issues.. look at the stuff hmrambling put together for you to see.
Stop wasting time and emotions resenting him. Its so much better he did this now and didn't lie and keep you hanging.
Let.It.Go.

[C.C.]

What is a mature way to handle a break up. My parents said im like a teen (im in my 20s) i struggle w getting through the day, lose sleep, dont eat etc. Its not like i dont get out of bed, never miss work due to heartache. Is it normal to cry sporadically, i feel like there is a heavy weight in my chest. I cant help resenting the thought of him happy w someone else (bad i know).

If being like that gets in the way of your life, exhausts you mentally or doesn't feel good then it's enough reason to consider it bad. There are times when we need to cry and it actually does good to us and there are times when it does worse. I have always thought that crying itself is an individual thing and such. So whether it is normal for you is something only you can define. And whatever you decide (or realise through the advice of others) that is a bad coping mechanism is something you can always at least try to improve.
Even if he feels happy with someone else, it doesn't mean you are any worse than his new SO will be, it'll just mean he found someone who's more fitting to HIM. And yes, you didn't fit him but that also means that he didn't fit YOU either, that YOU are better off without him. (not because he is bad either) And YOU can also be happy in future, actually happy and not struggling for several months to make the relationship look like something while failing at it.

[Moon]

Not being in a relationship isn't the end of the world, you know. I've been getting the impression that you want so badly to be in one that it doesn't really matter with whom, as everyone here could see the two of you weren't good for each other. You even said in one of these responses about wanting to be in a relationship, without even saying with this guy. There are some people, I've known many, who just want the lovey-dovey relationship and have a difficult time of it when they aren't in one. Don't be one of those people, they're silly and annoying. Stop looking to be in a relationship and work on yourself. Question why you find it so hard to be single, and how come you can't be satisfied if you are. Then go find some things to do. Get hobbies, find friends, get more education, travel, whatever it takes to make you happy with yourself, as your own person. Learn, grow, be happy, all by yourself. Stop searching for your imagined other half, and be whole in yourself. Once you gain the maturity, confidence and self-awareness, good things will happen. You might even eventually find someone, once you stop searching so desperately. You have taken very little advice given you from this forum, so I don't expect you to take mine either, but I hope you at least think about it, and remember it when you need it. Good luck.

[Loveyoumore]

Wow!He canceled your trip now y'all broke up....im so sorry hun. LDRs are hard,esp. if both parties arent willing to put the time, attention and effort in to make it work day by day.