My girlfriend is so stressed that I can't myself show her that I'm as stressed as she is (I tried, it didn't help). I'm the one telling her "it's going to be fine" while inside I'm screaming "someone help me please!!!". So maybe I'm just writing the following so that someone tells me "it's going to be fine".
I'll close the distance soon. My girlfriend has moved from Romania to France. After having found myself a job in France, but in another city, my current employer in the US made me a counter-offer to promote me. As I told him I wanted to go to France to close the distance with my girlfriend, he proposed me to telecommute from France. At first I thought "that's awesome, the salary it 2x higher than the one from the French company, and I'll get to be with my girlfriend right away, not in a different city". Rapidly I realized that this also meant it *HAS* to work out with her: I would feel stupid, even dishonored, in front of my boss, if it didn't, especially given how hard it was for him to figure out all the legal aspects to make me work from abroad.
Now, if anyone has followed my recent posts (https://members.lovingfromadistance....ogical-matters), you know that my girlfriend is very stressed right now herself. Things have piled up, in addition to the issue with bugs, she doesn't like the job she started (actually the company tricked her during the interview process and put her on another project than the one they advertised), she doesn't like the area, she is missing her family, she is struggling with French... to the point that most days, I find her on Skype either really depressed or really angry. She sometimes says things like "I wish I'd never moved", or that she wants to go back "home" (Romania). It is very difficult for me to hear that, I'm thinking "what if she flies back to Romania by the time I arrive?". Sometimes she tells me "I miss you and I can't wait for you to be here, I'd feel much better". Sometimes she makes plans to change company within a year (still looking for jobs in France), so I'm actually happy that she sees herself staying. But sometimes she lists all the things that were much better in Romania and ends up with a hurtful "I don't know why I moved".
I'm extremely stressed, I have on average 2 or 3 anxiety attacks per day. The first one in the morning: when I wake up, I have to look at my phone and read her texts, and I'm almost praying that nothing bad has happened. But most of the time there is something: more bugs, or crappy coworkers, or other things she needed to complain about. When I'm waiting for her on Skype in the evening, I'm wondering "how will I find her today?". I'm also afraid that after the excitement of having me there, once I move, she will fall back to being depressed and I won't be able to make her feel better. Or worse, she could find my presence more annoying than useful after a little while...
So right now I'm really hopping to be able to move to France asap, and I'm also really hopping that everything works fine in the end.
I'll close the distance soon. My girlfriend has moved from Romania to France. After having found myself a job in France, but in another city, my current employer in the US made me a counter-offer to promote me. As I told him I wanted to go to France to close the distance with my girlfriend, he proposed me to telecommute from France. At first I thought "that's awesome, the salary it 2x higher than the one from the French company, and I'll get to be with my girlfriend right away, not in a different city". Rapidly I realized that this also meant it *HAS* to work out with her: I would feel stupid, even dishonored, in front of my boss, if it didn't, especially given how hard it was for him to figure out all the legal aspects to make me work from abroad.
Now, if anyone has followed my recent posts (https://members.lovingfromadistance....ogical-matters), you know that my girlfriend is very stressed right now herself. Things have piled up, in addition to the issue with bugs, she doesn't like the job she started (actually the company tricked her during the interview process and put her on another project than the one they advertised), she doesn't like the area, she is missing her family, she is struggling with French... to the point that most days, I find her on Skype either really depressed or really angry. She sometimes says things like "I wish I'd never moved", or that she wants to go back "home" (Romania). It is very difficult for me to hear that, I'm thinking "what if she flies back to Romania by the time I arrive?". Sometimes she tells me "I miss you and I can't wait for you to be here, I'd feel much better". Sometimes she makes plans to change company within a year (still looking for jobs in France), so I'm actually happy that she sees herself staying. But sometimes she lists all the things that were much better in Romania and ends up with a hurtful "I don't know why I moved".
I'm extremely stressed, I have on average 2 or 3 anxiety attacks per day. The first one in the morning: when I wake up, I have to look at my phone and read her texts, and I'm almost praying that nothing bad has happened. But most of the time there is something: more bugs, or crappy coworkers, or other things she needed to complain about. When I'm waiting for her on Skype in the evening, I'm wondering "how will I find her today?". I'm also afraid that after the excitement of having me there, once I move, she will fall back to being depressed and I won't be able to make her feel better. Or worse, she could find my presence more annoying than useful after a little while...
So right now I'm really hopping to be able to move to France asap, and I'm also really hopping that everything works fine in the end.
Comment