:( i'm scared

[amb85]

I'm scared my SO might give up on us. She has been going through alot lately at home and has been stressed out. Well the other night she had a little break down and was just really frustrated about everything going on at home. When she is stressed she usually does what most of us do and says things she doesn't mean. It seemed like she was scared that she might start losing hope that we will ever be together and is scared that it will cause her feelings to fade. I basically just kept telling her that nobody can control what will happen in the future, we can only control what is going on now. That's all I could really think of to say. That was a few days ago and she is back to normal now, but part of me is scared she might give up. Or maybe i'm just overanalyzing everything and thinking too far into things.

I guess my question to you guys is how do I handle it? What do I say to her to reassure her of everything? Has anyone else experienced this?

[KyleTheMan]

All i can really think of is that its happened to me before but differently. I wont get to deep into it but it wont help if you're both in despair. You need to be strong, reassure her that everything will be alright and be with her so she can get past her hard times she's going through. I think she needs to feel secure and protected, especially since it sounds like her life outside the relationship is kind of not going well right now. Keep your head cool, stay with her and reassure her. Don't push her too hard, give her time to think and let her know you'll be there when she needs you.

[Tanja]

I had a similar break down at one point and here's what Andy did: I told him we will never make it and it's best for us to just move on and find someone else. Luckily he never gave in, he kept encouraging me when I was down and telling me will make it, that our love is stronger than anything and he will not give up on me or let me go.

That was all I needed at that time and I'm very glad I listened to him and I'm even more glad he didn't give up even though I was ready to do so.

Don't let her go, tell her you're willing to fight for her and even though things are not well at home it does not mean that this relationship isn't going to make it. She needs your courage and comfort more than ever so offer them to her until she's over the worst part. Best of luck!

[Caitlin2009]

i wouldnt worry so much, god knows ive had days like that but then i think how much worse my life would be without Denise. I cant imagine her not in my life, hell she is my life and if i didnt have her i would be back to where i started last year which i never wanna go back to. Point is dont worry she was just having a little moment, you said she's fine now, if your scared talk to her about it and make it clear that things will work out when they are supposed to

[LadyMarchHare]

Be strong for her in those moments, break down elsewhere. I've hit these patches with my guy because of his job where he'll think I'll leave him or we'll never work out and like Kyle said, it doesn't help if you freak out in front of her and start wondering the same thing. You know it was the stress and frankly that's it and nothing more. It didn't come up beforehand, she was just really out of sorts and in those times good things seem like they'll end just to kick you in the face.

Unless she keeps bringing it up, let the subject be and just love her. Send a letter, be a little more affectionate than usual, small things. You don't need to tell her directly that everything's gonna be chill, because then she'll think you're going down the path she was on.

[paulawriteslove]

Don't give up on her. You should be there to support her no matter what!

[evconvent]

Fight for her.
Just be there.
She may just be feeling down about other things as well.
LDRs are a lot of work. You said she was feeling stressed so it may just all be a bit overwhelming for her at the moment. Stay strong.

[Karringtyn]

Be strong and simply be there.

[Andy]

Like Tanja said we've been through this.

Don't let her give up. Remind her how good you are together and what you have is special. Tell her if she needs some time and space then you'll give her some. I was really scared when Tanja wanted to end it, but I was determined not to let her go through with it because I know what we have doesn't come along every day. That's something worth fighting for. I wish you all the best.

[annamorgan]

I've experienced times when I honestly believed I wasn't going to be able to do this anymore. I felt like I was losing faith in LDRs (and my SO) a lot. Looking back, this was thought coming from negative emotions (stress, depression, etc.). Every day with Travis (my SO) is far from perfect, but the days where everything seem perfect, that's the days I hold on to. The good always outweighs the bad.