Ldr mixed signas

[Sherzy1177]

Hi, I have been with my partner in a LDR for 9 months now. We are really lucky and see each other at least every other weekend. We are both older and have children of our own that live each of us. My problem is that my partner is leaving me confused of late. We have spoken briefly about plans for the future regarding lessening the distance between us and at his suggestion he had said he would love to move in with myself and our kids all together where I live after our oldest girls go to uni this September. Fabulous I thought plenty of time to sort things out etc etc. However he is
Now talking along the lines of decorating his house making it feel more
Homely and who gets his daughters room
When she goes to uni. Also his ex wife is still on the mortgage and when telling me she has asked to
Be taken off so that she can buy with her new partner he has said no because he cannot get a mortgage on his own and wants to 'hang on' to his House as long as possible. A couple of weeks ago amidst my confusion I asked
Outright if we still had the same expectations and he said quite plainly yes if we are not aiming to
Live together why would we
Be in a relationship. Then in his
Next breath he desperate to hang on to his house because he has nowhere else to
Go and redecorating and overhauling the garden. Maybe it's just me but I'm totally confused what is happening. I
Did
Try to broach the situation with him as obviously he can't keep his ex on the mortgage forever but he just looks at me like a lost puppy.

[sasad]

Hi, I have been with my partner in a LDR for 9 months now. We are really lucky and see each other at least every other weekend. We are both older and have children of our own that live each of us. My problem is that my partner is leaving me confused of late. We have spoken briefly about plans for the future regarding lessening the distance between us and at his suggestion he had said he would love to move in with myself and our kids all together where I live after our oldest girls go to uni this September. Fabulous I thought plenty of time to sort things out etc etc. However he is
Now talking along the lines of decorating his house making it feel more
Homely and who gets his daughters room
When she goes to uni. Also his ex wife is still on the mortgage and when telling me she has asked to
Be taken off so that she can buy with her new partner he has said no because he cannot get a mortgage on his own and wants to 'hang on' to his House as long as possible. A couple of weeks ago amidst my confusion I asked
Outright if we still had the same expectations and he said quite plainly yes if we are not aiming to
Live together why would we
Be in a relationship. Then in his
Next breath he desperate to hang on to his house because he has nowhere else to
Go and redecorating and overhauling the garden. Maybe it's just me but I'm totally confused what is happening. I
Did
Try to broach the situation with him as obviously he can't keep his ex on the mortgage forever but he just looks at me like a lost puppy.

Pretty sure he will need to refinance to get her off the mortgage. I am surprised his ex isnt demanding the house to be sold ? Is there a reason they are keeping it? Something really isn't matching up. In s divorce communal property is decided up and debt separated. I end not on the mortise, but on the dread for my ex. He paid x amount of dollars and I signed a quit deed claim.

Again, something sounds a bit wonky. Was he planning on leaving his kids there? Maybe thst is part of it??

[Sparkling72]

A lot depends on where you live. Here in AZ, it doesn't matter if one is still on the mortgage or not. My decree states I am no longer responsible for the house, the mortgage, his car loan, our swimming pool loan, and other various debts associated with the property. I was able to buy a new house on my own with my decree. Is it his finances or credit rating? is he upside down on it? Also, maybe the house needs some re-haul to fix up and sell anyway. It sounds like you just need to call him out/clarify when he says these things. If he wants to move to you, why is he lining up who is getting whose room?