Girlfriend left me a month ago, loves me but doesn't know if she comes back

[Maxje95]

Hello,

a short info about us: I am 21 years old from The Netherlands and she will turn 18 in 3 weeks and is from France.
We started our relationship at 15 august 2015. Last month, at 18 january she decided to leave me mostly due to the fact that we argued a lot lately.

Since then I asked her a few times if she wouldn't wanna come back, because I really loved her and I still do, but she always told me that she would never ever come back.
I've had a really tough time then and I've cried for like every day. She was my first girlfriend, first kiss and first time. We were still talking, but everytime she had to go I started to feel bad again. She also told me that she wanted to stay friends with me, but I told her that I couldn't, because of the fact that I would be devestated if she'd find a new boy.
I told her twice that it was better if we'd stop talking. The first time we didn't talk for 1.5 day and then she sent me a message on which I replied and we talked again. The second time we didn't talk for 3 days and suddenly at 4 AM (After she went to a party and was drunk) she sent me a message saying "Good Night Max!". Then the day after we talked again.

Now the most important thing: 4 days ago I told her that I wanted to move on for good and try to forget about her and we kinda 'argued'. Suddenly, she told me that all the time she loved me, all the time she cared and she was still attached, but she never wanted to tell me because she didn't wanna give me hope. Since that moment, everything stood still for me and I didn't really know what was going on. She told me that from one side she wants me back again but from another side she doesn't. She wants me back because she loves me and all that, but she doesn't because she's afraid that we are going to argue again. Also, she added that she doesn't know if she can handle the distance anymore. I had planned to close the distance in summer 2018, so that's not even 1.5 year anymore.
Anyways, we talk every day now, basically like as if we were in couple. I tell her I love her and she tells me that she loves me. Sometimes she even calls me by sweet names and me too. It's kinda weird but I love it and she does too, but yet she doesn't wanna come back yet. Last time I was with her in real life was around 1.5 month ago.
Last time she told me that if I would live there she would ask me to come over and hug her. I proposed her to come to her for 2-3 days in 2 weeks (2 to 4 march) to talk to her in person and to give her a good hug. She told me she would be ready to see me but she wouldn't want me to come to her house. The week after (11 march) it's her birthday. I proposed her to come there as well, either from 9 to 11 march or from 11 to 14 march. Again she said it would be okay, but she won't let me come to her house.

I know that she hasn't done things with another boy, because I know she wouldn't. One week ago she went to a club with friends and she told me that 4 different boys tried to kiss her, but she didn't want to and pushed them away because she had me in her mind all the time. I asked her if I would come to her and hug her, if she'd let me kiss her and she said "I don't know". When I asked her another time if she thought that the next one she'd kiss would be me, she responded with "I guess so".


After all, I still love her really much and I want her back so bad. I think all I can do is wait, but if you people read this, do you think that she would come back? And also, are there perhaps any things I could do?


Thanks in advance.

Max

[snow]

I think the biggest thing to consider here is that she is very young. She is not even 18 and seems to think that a relationship only has good times, when in reality there will be arguments and that is something she will have to accept.

[Maxje95]

I think the biggest thing to consider here is that she is very young. She is not even 18 and seems to think that a relationship only has good times, when in reality there will be arguments and that is something she will have to accept.

Thanks for your reply. I understand she is still young but I do really love her much. I think she realises that there will be arguments, but she doesn't want them to happen as often as before. Ofcourse at some points you can't avoid them and they just happen. But like I said I know she's young but I love her, so I guess all I can do is wait until she's ready again.. Because I do really want her back and try it again

By the way, I forgot to add: Last time I met a girl through Tinder (maybe it wasn't smart to download that). Basically I downloaded it to change my mind etc. We talked and after a while she asked me to go drink something with her. A few days later I told this to my (ex)-girlfriend and she kinda got jealous and also a bit hurt. She clearly didn't like the fact that I would go out with another girl (if I would even go). This shows that basically she still wants me just for her, and I don't mind that she's jealous at all, I actually like to know it.

[sasad]

Thanks for your reply. I understand she is still young but I do really love her much. I think she realises that there will be arguments, but she doesn't want them to happen as often as before. Ofcourse at some points you can't avoid them and they just happen. But like I said I know she's young but I love her, so I guess all I can do is wait until she's ready again.. Because I do really want her back and try it again

By the way, I forgot to add: Last time I met a girl through Tinder (maybe it wasn't smart to download that). Basically I downloaded it to change my mind etc. We talked and after a while she asked me to go drink something with her. A few days later I told this to my (ex)-girlfriend and she kinda got jealous and also a bit hurt. She clearly didn't like the fact that I would go out with another girl (if I would even go). This shows that basically she still wants me just for her, and I don't mind that she's jealous at all, I actually like to know it.

Couple of things here... You are both young and not really mature. You dont go out on a date and brag to your ex to make her jesalous. You hurt her she said. That isn't the way you show someone you care. That's manipulating .
She said she wants a break, i dont care what you may feel or what you want, but you cant force her to love you back. If she cant decide and keeps jerking you around, that is also manipulation. Also fighting is not good. In a real grown up relationship you talk and communicate and compromise.
I think you both need to step back and grow up a little bit mor. Learn how to appreciate each other, not manipulate each other..

[sasad]

Seriously???? This is still going on and you posted again a month later??

https://members.lovingfromadistance....now-what-to-do

Just stop. Period.