Met a guy who is a little closer?

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Please don't give me any hate for this, meeting the new guy was completely unexpected. I went to a social even that I volunteer at every year. Usually if I do meet a guy, I never see him ever again even though he shows interest in me. Anyways I met this guy and he seems really into me! We had a date Sunday, he waited 2 hours before I finished and stayed late despite having a couple hour drive home, he was determined to find a coffee shop that we could sit and talk. Unlike my ex, this guy has a lot going on life, he is in the army and told me he works 12+ hours a day. We talked about getting together again, but its going to be very slow. How do I determine his interest level? We do text back and forth, but he does drop out of the convo and I plan on waiting for him to text.

[Rezie]

Good for you! You are single and met a guy...what's there to hate? So you went on a date and you text to eachother. I woukd say he is interested. So he works a lot and does other stuff so he is not on the phone all the time. Give him space. There is no need to answer texts within minutes. Don't look for faults in him, just enjoy the part of getting to know him.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Good for you! You are single and met a guy...what's there to hate? So you went on a date and you text to eachother. I woukd say he is interested. So he works a lot and does other stuff so he is not on the phone all the time. Give him space. There is no need to answer texts within minutes. Don't look for faults in him, just enjoy the part of getting to know him.

Just that its only been 2 weeks since the break up, I didn't expect to meet a potential bf so soon.

[snow]

Pffft, you don't control when you meet someone. I was with my ex for 4 years when I met my husband

Well, since it's only been a couple days, I would continue texting and go with the flow.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Pffft, you don't control when you meet someone. I was with my ex for 4 years when I met my husband

Well, since it's only been a couple days, I would continue texting and go with the flow.

True lol, plus the guy seems really nice, so I'm not just going to dismiss him just because its "too soon". Timing might never be on your side. Plus is it is so nice to have a man actually pay attention to me and want to hang out w/me.

[Chris516]

Please don't give me any hate for this, meeting the new guy was completely unexpected. I went to a social even that I volunteer at every year. Usually if I do meet a guy, I never see him ever again even though he shows interest in me. Anyways I met this guy and he seems really into me! We had a date Sunday, he waited 2 hours before I finished and stayed late despite having a couple hour drive home, he was determined to find a coffee shop that we could sit and talk. Unlike my ex, this guy has a lot going on life, he is in the army and told me he works 12+ hours a day. We talked about getting together again, but its going to be very slow. How do I determine his interest level? We do text back and forth, but he does drop out of the convo and I plan on waiting for him to text.

Congratulations!!!! Go Army!!!

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Congratulations!!!! Go Army!!!

Anyone have experience dating in the army? Is it hard to keep in touch? He did tell me he couldn't have his phone on him when working.

[Harlequin]

Anyone have experience dating in the army? Is it hard to keep in touch? He did tell me he couldn't have his phone on him when working.

My fiancé is in the Air Force, so close enough
It can be hard to keep in touch depending on what it is they're doing. If he's working, then you don't have to worry about him going away to basic, but you still have to worry about potential deployments or spontaneous shipping out for training for something or another. Military relationships can be very lonely, and you're really at the whims of Uncle Sam. You gotta be strong, you gotta be secure in yourself, you gotta be okay with spontaneity, and you gotta understand that the government is going to come first until he leaves the army. You're not going to be able to know everything that's going on, and you're gonna have to be a solid foundation for support. Army strong, sure, but sometimes it's really nice for them to hear that they're missed and they matter beyond just being soldier #123456.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

My fiancé is in the Air Force, so close enough
It can be hard to keep in touch depending on what it is they're doing. If he's working, then you don't have to worry about him going away to basic, but you still have to worry about potential deployments or spontaneous shipping out for training for something or another. Military relationships can be very lonely, and you're really at the whims of Uncle Sam. You gotta be strong, you gotta be secure in yourself, you gotta be okay with spontaneity, and you gotta understand that the government is going to come first until he leaves the army. You're not going to be able to know everything that's going on, and you're gonna have to be a solid foundation for support. Army strong, sure, but sometimes it's really nice for them to hear that they're missed and they matter beyond just being soldier #123456.

Its only been a couple days since we have met, I just want to make sure that I'm not just a time filler for him, I was for my ex (he barely made time for me despite being unemployed and not going to school). If we do want a relationship, how can we start one? Obviously I'm going to 1st gauge his interest, if I had done that w/my ex, I would have saved a ton of time and heartache by not getting so involved quickly. Since its in the early phases, I am still actively dating other guys (I have several online profiles). I was def flattered that he waited for me and spent a good amount of time w/me on the 1st date. He even had me text him when my bus came and actually did let me know when he got home. When he does text, he texts paragraphs, not just one word answers.

[Honour]

I don't think there's any harm in all this. I met my SO when I'd been broken up with my ex at the time for only a few days. A couple of weeks later, we got together and still together almost 2 years on. Anything is possible.

[R&R]

Honestly, I'm reading through this and all I wanted to do was be like "slow down!!!". It's great that you've met a guy who enjoys your company and wants to start to get to know you. But it's only been a couple of days.

Relax. There is no reason for your thought process to already be heading towards "what if's" for how to start a relationship. Put those relationship thoughts on the back burner and just enjoy getting to know him as a person. That takes time and it's a part that so many people skip now because they just want to go directly into a relationship. It sounds like you're really trying to take your time, so stick with that and don't even let your brain head towards a relationship thought.

I did date a guy in the army for a couple of years. He was a specialist in his field and could be called away with no warning. He'd be gone for 3 days or a month and I just had to wait for him to come back. There was no texting or calling as he'd be out of the country and for safety purposes couldn't contact me. The army owns them. You will always take second place and you have to be okay with that. They can't be out in the field, training or deployed somewhere dangerous and be worrying about you. It's your job to make sure they have no worries about the relationship and what's going on with the two of you. It's not for the faint of heart.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Honestly, I'm reading through this and all I wanted to do was be like "slow down!!!". It's great that you've met a guy who enjoys your company and wants to start to get to know you. But it's only been a couple of days.

Relax. There is no reason for your thought process to already be heading towards "what if's" for how to start a relationship. Put those relationship thoughts on the back burner and just enjoy getting to know him as a person. That takes time and it's a part that so many people skip now because they just want to go directly into a relationship. It sounds like you're really trying to take your time, so stick with that and don't even let your brain head towards a relationship thought.

I did date a guy in the army for a couple of years. He was a specialist in his field and could be called away with no warning. He'd be gone for 3 days or a month and I just had to wait for him to come back. There was no texting or calling as he'd be out of the country and for safety purposes couldn't contact me. The army owns them. You will always take second place and you have to be okay with that. They can't be out in the field, training or deployed somewhere dangerous and be worrying about you. It's your job to make sure they have no worries about the relationship and what's going on with the two of you. It's not for the faint of heart.

The thing is he isn't on the combat side of the army. I do want to get to know him as a person, but its hard w/conflicting schedules and also a challenge not knowing his communication style. I had so much fun w/my ex in the beginning, getting to know him and very painful when he pretty much threw up his hands and in a way said "hey you aren't worth that extra effort". I'm hoping he communicates w/me more and we can enjoy dates like our first one (I stole a kiss haha). It feels good to be pursued just a little even, there was a much older guy I turned down at the event and when I told this guy he said well he is missing out. I don't want to rush things, but I want more dates, more of a chance to hang out and do some fun activity.

[R&R]

Getting to know someone takes effort - even in friendships. You didn't know your best friends communication style right away - it took time and eventually the two of you figured it out. This is no different. You will work around conflicting schedules if it's something you both want.

And as easy as it is to say and as tough as it may be, don't compare him, his communication or anything to your last relationship. He wasn't there and he isn't that last guy, so wipe those thoughts away.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Getting to know someone takes effort - even in friendships. You didn't know your best friends communication style right away - it took time and eventually the two of you figured it out. This is no different. You will work around conflicting schedules if it's something you both want.

And as easy as it is to say and as tough as it may be, don't compare him, his communication or anything to your last relationship. He wasn't there and he isn't that last guy, so wipe those thoughts away.

Def not fair to judge this guy based on my ex, he has already made the 1st move and shown interest, plus he is a lot more serious about life then my ex. This guy has his life more or less figured out and he isn't passive w/everything.

[sasad]

Def not fair to judge this guy based on my ex, he has already made the 1st move and shown interest, plus he is a lot more serious about life then my ex. This guy has his life more or less figured out and he isn't passive w/everything.

Like R&R said.. slow it down and relax. Learn to be friends. I was Navy, and yes the military owns you. Working for NSGA, you could NOT use a cell phone.perod. And that job was not classified as combat. Dont assume that noncombat =cell phone usual all day!A lot of people cant use cell phones at work as well, and. I know you stressed out big time with the other guy. He mostlikely wont be texting you during the day and if he is on assignment.
Learn to be a friend. Let stuff grow is what i am trying to say.