Is it love?

[Laika]

Hello, so i have been together With SO for 4 years. The relationship have gone through lots of ups and downs With me trying to bak up and then he somehow made me "take" it back so we stayed together and had some really good times after and had a great time When we met again irl.

The thing is that I easily find myself wondering whether I truly love This guy Anymore? .. I find him to be a bit annoying and often a bit too klingy since he always whats to be near me all the time in games and often wants to Call me his wife in games even though we are not that.. Just so people are aware that im his.

The other thing is that i'm never in the mood to go on cam for him to cyber etc.. it doesnt matter if its small things.. but I just can't find myself to want to do it.. which leads to him often asking me.. telling me i dont have to do much.. but it just makes me more annoyed and less in the mood..

He easily Gets jealous if im texting another guy and he always wants to be in the same guild and place as me in games.. meaning i cant really go do guild stuff without him wanting to be there waiting for me untill i finish.. And I just feel like im not getting the space i need and it Gets too much..

I'm just so lost atm.. I obviously care for the guy.. but is it love Anymore i dont know? :/

[lovestoread]

Only you can answer that no one else can answer that for you

[Chris516]

Your confusion is typical for an LDR. Because we yearn for CDR, but sometimes too much. That it makes us begin to question being in an LDR.

[snow]

This hits very close to home. This is how I felt about my ex boyfriend before I ended it.
I just didn't feel like spending time with him, I didn't feel like talking to him, skyping with him, playing games with him and every effort he made to be with me just made it worse.

You might have fallen out of love.

[Rezie]

Something I struggle with aswell. Could be falling pur of love and relationship has run its course. Or could be that you just can't do the LDR anymore. Those are hard to know. Do you spend time together in IRL? How do you feel when you are physically together? Do you plan on closing the distance?

[Laika]

We actually just spent time together 2 weeks ago irl, I just found myself to not always be in the mood there either.. We did have a good time and the goodbye Was emotional for both of us.

We are only going to be able to close the distance in about 4 years min.. it will most Likely take a bit longer because of education and the fact that he have not been able to save up money for our future yet.. its hard to find a part time job there and then he got uni aswell..

We would plan on closing it one day.. but it just seems really far away..

I find myself sometimes being more happy talking to other people than him.

I don't feel like I can't handle the LDR Anymore..

We usually meet every 6 month.. sometimes, its mostly during the summer, winter and the christmas.

[Honour]

Sometimes you can't help it but you can grow extremely apathetic and subconsciously "move on" from your partner without even meaning to. It would be unfair to you and on him to maintain a loveless relationship, LD or CD. But at the end of the day, only you can decide whether you've fallen out of love with him.

[Rezie]

Additional 4 years is very long time in addition to 4 years. In that time people grow and in LDR it is easily to different directions since you are not in each others life physically. You just have to evaluate if you can wait 4 years to find put if it's the relationship or just the distance.

[differentcountries]

I find that as time goes by - we have dated beyond 3,5 years now and know we cant close the distance in at least a few years - we are usually not that interested in cam'ing. We deal with things better through texting and the occational phone call. We used to Skype a lot earlier but the thing is that we are both often very busy, and then having to Skype every night and trying to be "happy" with each other did not work very well for us as the years went by. Texting at night resemble a lot more how daily life feels when we are together on a visit. Then we dont neccesarily talk a whole lot either, but we are together pysically and give each other attention. Every couple have their method and one is not better than the other.

You are perfectly entitled to play games that he is not in, and really have your own individual life. It may be easier if you are not in the exacty game together (a lot of people struggle with social media for the same reason).

I sometimes wonder if I love-love him. I dont have a lot of strong emotions on a day to day basis. I realize that the reason for this is that I am surpressing my emotions so they dont overwealm me. When I visit him, or if I see a picture of him, I feel the same way as I used to.

Maybe you can talk to him about getting space, then you will find out if you feel you start to long for him or if you want to withdraw even more.


"We actually just spent time together 2 weeks ago irl, I just found myself to not always be in the mood there either.. We did have a good time and the goodbye Was emotional for both of us. We are only going to be able to close the distance in about 4 years min.. it will most Likely take a bit longer because of education and the fact that he have not been able to save up money for our future yet.. its hard to find a part time job there and then he got uni aswell.. We would plan on closing it one day.. but it just seems really far away.. I find myself sometimes being more happy talking to other people than him.I don't feel like I can't handle the LDR Anymore.. We usually meet every 6 month.. sometimes, its mostly during the summer, winter and the christmas."
You seem resentful about the distance, but the most important thing here is weather of not it is the distance of HIM.
The distance rubs me the wrong way a lot, but I know it is not something my SO did, to the contrary he is constantly changing his life in the ways I asked and that we agreed upon. We are both doing what we can and I cant ask for more than that. We sometimes distance ourselves from each other, but we have talked about this and we are comfortable knowing that this is what happens. If you feel your SO is not doing his part, that is one thing, if not there might be more than the distance at stake here.

[erwin1973]

We actually just spent time together 2 weeks ago irl, I just found myself to not always be in the mood there either.. We did have a good time and the goodbye Was emotional for both of us.

Reread this, OP.
I think that is more important then focussing on the LD part of the LDR.

[sasad]

If it feels like it is too much, then it probably is. YOU know what you feel inside. We don't.
I do suggest you take a couple of steps backwards and look at your relationship and try to understand why you feel the way you do.
To me, he is a little smothering. There really is such a thing as to much togetherness.
You need to set boundaries. What is ok and what isn't ok for you to do. Why do you have to do all the guild stuff with him? What happens if you don't?? Or even tell him you are creating a separate character you can play on your own. If he gets mad and refuses to "allow" that, then there are other concerning issues in play here.

You are extremely frustrated.. maybe the not cam-ing is a way that you are indirectly telling him to back off. Again, you need to communicate this to him. See where it goes. make YOU time.

[Laika]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

[Laika]

Sasad, you are probably right about the things you say since i do feel like I'm not getting any space..
He feel like he has to do everything With me or it feels like we Arent really together..

He wouldnt exactly get mad if i made a New char, but he would want to either watch me through teamviewer or help me out with one of his high lvl'd char.

[Chris516]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

Pushing you to do things like?

[sasad]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

When he pushes you... do you mean like s.e.x? stuff???