UK/US...need advice!!

[azel57]

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum, I wasn't sure it I should post here or the International forum (this is my first time here).

Anyway, my boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now, and have yet to meet in person. He's in the U.K. while I'm in the US. We're both over 21 and he works full time and I'm a part time college student who works only on weekends. We weren't sure about our relationship for a while so we just kinda felt comfortable but now we want to take things to the next level and we both want to meet. I have zero knowledge of visas or going out of the country and everything of that sort so I'm here to gain knowledge! I will probably go to the UK first to visit him, and hoping it will be around November or December of this year. Is that a logical time frame? I know it's expansive but I think we have the money dealt with.

Also, what's your opinion on meeting for the first time? Will it be awkward to meet in person the first time? Do I stay with him or in a hotel? It's all so new but we really want to be together. Sorry for all the questions, I'm looking forward to all your replies!! (:

[Rezie]

I don't think you need a visa to visit uk (someone correct me if I am wrong). Well depends how long you are staying. I'm not sure what you mean by logical tine frame but I think amy time is a equally good tie to visit your boyfriend. All countries have pros and cons any time of the year. Also this gives you plenty of time to save up some money.

This is all so subjective depending on the couple. But I wpuld imagine meeting for the first time can be a bit awkward but with a bit of humour I'm sure it will me natural in a few minutes. As for staying in a hotel or staying with him comes down to what you feel comfortable with and what his living situation is. If he lives with him family it is propably nicer to stay at a hotel but if he lives on his own or with a flatmate then it is a different thing. So talk with him and see what you both are comfortable with since meeting for the first time and then big together all the time might feel a bit overwhelming.

Finally I would like to say that welcome to the forum. I'm glad that you are excited about the visit but there is still quite a few moths to go so don't over think and over plan 😊

[Honour]

As far as I know you can stay in the UK for up to 3 months without an actual Visa. Any longer, and you'd have to apply for one. (This is what I think is true, I may be wrong). My SO is in the states and I'm in the UK, and when he comes over here to visit me for the first time in July, we're gonna stay in a B&B up the road from where my parents and I usually live. We wanted more privacy and time to ourselves. As for meeting first time, I can't give any real advice since I'll be experiencing it myself soon, I would imagine it really does depend on the couple as to how they react. I don't think my SO will have much difficulty adjusting, though I know I'm going to be extremely shy and embarrassed for awhile. It's how I usually react to situations like it lol.

[Shauny]

I should mention something given I went through the same process. I'm British and my gf is American. For our first visit we decided she would come here to the UK. She was quarantined in the airport for a few reasons and was a 4 hour process till she was accepted. Hopefully these tips will help.
1.Make sure you have enough money for your trip. You're looking at £1000/month minimum to keep customs happy.
2.Since it is your first meeting, customs will probably pull you for questioning; you will be asked questions and your SO will also be called and asked questions. Be honest about everything as if you both say different things, it's red flagging. I will note that the UK customs are no-where near as welcoming if you're flying into London. Things likely to be questioned is where are you staying, what plans do you have, when are you leaving, how much money do you have. Try to have your travel money in cash as customs cannot access your card.
3. have your flight itinerary in hand; they really want to know when you're leaving, so they can stamp in your passport the date you're actually supposed to leave. The 3month thing is a lie. They expect you to leave when you first told them. Please do too, or they'll be arsy and call you if you decide to stay longer.

In terms of your questions it's probably safer to actually stay with him; you save money and customs always have a second contact if something goes wrong. Besides, you've came here to be with him, right? That also reminds me, if he lives with his parents, they may be questioned too as you'd be staying in their property.

In terms of meeting for the first time, that depends on you as a couple. If you're kinda like just going with the flow, trying things out, it might be awkward. Or if you're both madly in love like we were (and still are), there is absolutely minimal awkwardness. We saw each other, we said hey and hugged, went to the car and kissed, went to the hotel and... Yeah. It's not awkward, unless you're meeting his parents and other family, which depends on how well you can converse with his parents. Just be yourself though; that's the person he likes and wants his parents to meet.

[Rezie]

I should mention something given I went through the same process. I'm British and my gf is American. For our first visit we decided she would come here to the UK. She was quarantined in the airport for a few reasons and was a 4 hour process till she was accepted. Hopefully these tips will help.
1.Make sure you have enough money for your trip. You're looking at £1000/month minimum to keep customs happy.
2.Since it is your first meeting, customs will probably pull you for questioning; you will be asked questions and your SO will also be called and asked questions. Be honest about everything as if you both say different things, it's red flagging. I will note that the UK customs are no-where near as welcoming if you're flying into London. Things likely to be questioned is where are you staying, what plans do you have, when are you leaving, how much money do you have. Try to have your travel money in cash as customs cannot access your card.
3. have your flight itinerary in hand; they really want to know when you're leaving, so they can stamp in your passport the date you're actually supposed to leave. The 3month thing is a lie. They expect you to leave when you first told them. Please do too, or they'll be arsy and call you if you decide to stay longer.

In terms of your questions it's probably safer to actually stay with him; you save money and customs always have a second contact if something goes wrong. Besides, you've came here to be with him, right? That also reminds me, if he lives with his parents, they may be questioned too as you'd be staying in their property

I'm sorry your girlfriend had this experience.

I'm not American but I visit the UK several times a year and I've never seen anything like this. They have just askes a few questions but often not even that. London being one of the most popular destinations in the world and tourism being important for the economy so try not to worry too much about this happening. At least to a point where it turn you off from travelling. Especially if you have a return ticket booked. Maybe if you have a one way ticket they might do this process (I've travelled with one way ticket but as mentioned I'm not American)

[80anthea]

Yes sadly the London Heathrow border security have got quite a reputation for being very hard on single travellers coming in from outside the EU. I know several people who have been held up there for hours and one who was sent back because they weren't convinced she was going to leave when she said she was. I'd really come as prepared as you can be, or fly into another airport.

[azel57]

Thank you everyone for all the replies! You all are great. I'm going to answer some of the questions you all asked instead of just making a huge quoted mess and hopefully I can give you all some more information and insight.

I'm not sure about paperwork/preparation for leaving the country but I'm assuming it will take a few weeks/months to get together? I need to look into that, any suggestions on where to start? Anthea mentioned to try and avoid the London Heathrow airport, so I will keep that in mind.

As for staying with him, I don't have a problem with it, however, he does live with his family and he's told me privacy might be very little, so that's why I'm not sure if we should get a hotel or not.

The first visit will probably only be a week, maybe two at most, so nothing even near the 3 months that Honour mentioned! As for meeting him, I think I'll probably be a little shy and definitely emotional, but will probably just want to stay in his arms for about 3 hours hahaha. But we are very open with each other even though we're so far apart, so I don't think anything will be necessarily embarrassing, which is good.

Shauny - that story makes me nervous! I'm sorry she had to go through that. I definitely won't be stay more than a month, so do you think that would happen to me? I will most definitely have a round trip ticket, so maybe that will keep them off my back a little haha. But thank you so much, you helped a lot!

Looking forward to all your replies, thank you all again for all the help and information. It really helps me to begin to understand and help prep for meeting him!

[Shauny]

To be fair my gf came through London Gatwick, which to me is worse than Heathrow. If you're SO lives in the north, Manchester would be a good idea to fly in to. Still quite busy but way more relaxing than LHR or LGW. You should be fine though. Don't stress about papers too much, just make sure you can provide evidence on your departure. Customs, as nasty as they sound to some are concerned about your wellbeing too. For all they know, your SO could be trafficking you. They just want to make sure everything seems OK.

[Freebird]

I have zero knowledge of visas or going out of the country and everything of that sort so I'm here to gain knowledge! I will probably go to the UK first to visit him, and hoping it will be around November or December of this year. Is that a logical time frame? I know it's expansive but I think we have the money dealt with.

Also, what's your opinion on meeting for the first time? Will it be awkward to meet in person the first time? Do I stay with him or in a hotel? It's all so new but we really want to be together. Sorry for all the questions, I'm looking forward to all your replies!! (:

Similar situation! I'm in the US and my BF is in the UK. I visited him in the UK this past Dec/Jan. It was my first time traveling out of the US but was pretty simple. You do not need a visa if you are staying short term which is 90 days or less. Make sure your passport will be valid for at least six months to avoid fussy customs.

I went through London Heathrow and did not have any issue. I came prepared. I made an excel sheet of my daily plan including where I was going, who I was seeing, my BF's address, hotels, attractions- it had everything on it. I also had my itinerary for my return to the US, and brought a copy of my bank statement from two accounts, although they were not interested in looking at it. I did not have any cash on me at all. My SO, his family (who we stayed with over x-mas) or my other UK references (cousins) were not contacted, although I had numbers and addresses ready. They only took a look at my excel sheet and asked me a few simple questions (who was I visiting, why was I here, who did I know here) then let me through. It lasted about 2 minutes, he stamped my passport, and on I went. The only reason it took a while otherwise was because of the line (45 mins), probably due to the holidays!

I was expecting it to be a whole ordeal but it was pretty straightforward. Just be prepared and be honest. Know your plan and you shouldn't have an issue but... still be prepared and know it can happen.

Expense will depend on where you go and accommodation. London and Windsor is quite expensive. We also spent a lot of time in Birmingham and Edinburgh which were less so. Air BnB is great. We ended up getting good deals on hotels and tickets though thanks to booking months in advanced.

As far as meeting the first time, that 100% just depends on you, him, and your personalities. I was worried about it too and wasn't sure if I should book my own hotel room or just book together. But, when I met my SO for the first time in person, it was immediately natural and nothing about it felt awkward at all. It was like we had known each other for forever. We booked a hotel together and had a great time.

Good luck. If you have any US/UK related questions feel free to ask me!

[azel57]

Thanks Shauny again! I will talk to him about it and hopefully we can figure everything out.

Freebird, thanks for all the information! Was it your first time traveling out of the country? I've never even been ona plane, let alone traveling out of the country by myself, it seems SO confusing and scary. Thanks for the tip about the passport, I will keep that in mind and will make it a priority.

I was thinking of doing the same thing with my plans, and giving a copy to my parents/family for safety reasons. For the money, someone else recommended to only have cash. What do you think is better from your experience? A few people here have mentioned Air BnB so i will take a look into that for sure.

Thanks again, you've been a big help! After I talk to him I might personally message you for some further advice since our situations are so similar, if you don't mind of course!

[Shauny]

You've never been on a plane? Damn hold on to your seat on takeoff; it's quite the thrill
Don't worry about it; aircraft are so safe nowadays. If you're flying over the pond though, be sure to watch some movies or TV on the screens, as 8/9 hours is a long time sitting down, and there's not much to see outside except blue!

[Freebird]

Thanks Shauny again! I will talk to him about it and hopefully we can figure everything out.

Freebird, thanks for all the information! Was it your first time traveling out of the country? I've never even been ona plane, let alone traveling out of the country by myself, it seems SO confusing and scary. Thanks for the tip about the passport, I will keep that in mind and will make it a priority.

I was thinking of doing the same thing with my plans, and giving a copy to my parents/family for safety reasons. For the money, someone else recommended to only have cash. What do you think is better from your experience? A few people here have mentioned Air BnB so i will take a look into that for sure.

Thanks again, you've been a big help! After I talk to him I might personally message you for some further advice since our situations are so similar, if you don't mind of course!

It was my first time out of the country, yes. A little intimidating, but very exciting. I've been on planes many times before though. It isn't that bad. It has gotten to the point where I pretty much knock out as soon as the plane is in the air.

Just get to the airport early. For an international flight, I would get to the airport no less than 3 hours before hand, if not more. You never know what could go wrong. Getting there and having to sit around is boring, but 100 times less stressful than getting there with little time to spare and having to rush for fear of missing your flight.

I would have both cash and card but, depending on your bank, paying with cash may be better in the long run. My bank is very good about waiving extra charges so I used card mostly. If I needed cash for something my boyfriend would pay for it and I'd transfer him the money later.
But some banks will charge not only for using an ATM that isn't associated with the bank, but will charge you a fee for currency conversion. It adds up. So I would definitely bring cash but have back up funds on another card. I was paranoid and brought two cards from different bank/accounts. If one got lost or stolen, I could cancel it but still transfer money to my other account.

And that isn't to scare you or anything... I felt several times safer in England than I do in America... just be careful in crowded areas in large cities like London. Most likely you'll be fine, but there are some people that target tourists.

Also, make sure you tell your bank you will be traveling overseas so they won't lock your card! Having a locked card is not fun. It didn't happen to me in the UK thank goodness, but I've traveled within the states and gotten my account locked because I didn't tell them I was travelling and they were trying to protect me from fraud.

And yes, send your plan, addresses, and flight itineraries to your parents, family, or close friend so someone knows what's going on and what to expect.

And feel free to message me, I enjoy helping others in similar situations!

[staruletto]

Just thought I'd add a thing on visas; As of right now you don't need a visa but the EU is talking about making US citizens get visitor visas even if it's a short amount of time in May (the 12th I believe?) because the US requires EU citizens to apply for a visa to visit the US. I'm not sure if thus will apply to the UK or not because of brexit but keep an eye on the news just in case.

[Hazel923]

I don't believe you need a visa to visit the UK if you're a US citizen, but to make sure I would look on the UK embassy's website. I am in a similar situation, except I am visiting my boyfriend in Dubai, UAE. I just e-mailed the embassy and they told me what to do.